


Showtime

by natcl



Series: Not Exactly Truthful [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: And Regular Drama Too, Angst, Assorted Shenanigans, Depression, F/F, Friendship, Is it even an Alphys story if there isn't angst?, MTT Brand Drama, Pre-Relationship Alphyne, Undertale Pacifist Route, that'll become full relationship alphyne at some point
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:48:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 52,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22653499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natcl/pseuds/natcl
Summary: There's a human in the Underground. Alphys has been hoping to meet a human pretty much her entire life, and finally the time has come. The only problem is that there's almost no way they'll want to be her friend as she is.Good thing she knows a very dedicated actor and has access to the best tech in the Underground. It's time to be the hero of this human's story.
Relationships: Alphys & Frisk (Undertale), Alphys & Mettaton (Undertale), Alphys/Undyne (Undertale)
Series: Not Exactly Truthful [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1629982
Comments: 54
Kudos: 53





	1. Arrival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am, back to traumatize Alphys some more. I bet you all thought you were rid of me, too. Well, welcome to **Anxiety: The Squeakquel**.
> 
> This also doesn't have a beta, so please forgive (and maybe point out) any errors. Feedback is always welcome and appreciated!

The snow is as white and undisturbed as ever, silent and cold. The only footprints are the light indentations of skeletal feet, but those will be covered soon by whatever magic allows snow to fall from the ceiling of the cavern. A breeze rattles through looming trees. Enormous doors tower above the path, as solid and impenetrable as they have been for decades.

If someone were to press their ear to those doors, they might hear the sounds of fire magic and a fight. Perhaps if they waited long enough, they would have to hear a mother begging a child to _fight or run away_ , or the child responding with pleas for mercy.

But only one person ever comes to these doors, and he’s probably asleep at his sentry station by now. 

The fight rages on, unnoticed.

* * *

Far, far away from the doors, someone is supposed to be watching them. 

But she’s not, because she’s watching a new show. In Alphys’ defense, she’s been watching that monitor for ages, and absolutely nothing has happened. 

There’s always that tantalizing hope that someone might come through, but if they do, a whole new can of worms'll be opened. Namely, what to do about the human? Alphys has no idea.

And sure, she told Undyne that she would call the second she saw a human, but… well, Undyne has made very clear what she plans to do with any humans that come here, and Alphys doesn’t necessarily agree with that plan. 

No one can pretend humans are all good, especially after previous fallen humans became infamous for their violent journeys to Asgore. But look at everything humans have done and made! Anime and TV shows, art and music. Hell, even modern monster technology is based off of fallen human tech. Her first toolkit was a fallen human one! How can a species so creative and inspired be all bad?

If a human walks through those doors, Alphys is going to watch them, and she’s going to alert Undyne _if_ they begin to become violent. And if it seems like they’re peaceful, she’s going to maybe watch over them? She hasn’t planned that far yet. All she knows is that she did all those horrible experiments to try and find a peaceful way out of the Underground, and she’ll be damned before she assists in the murder of a human who doesn’t deserve it.

Wow. She hadn’t realized how much she cared about that. Damn, Alphys. Maybe she can channel some of that energy into just turning off the show and actually watching for humans.

Eh. One more episode can’t hurt.

* * *

Sometimes, when there's nothing else going on, Alphys wonders how she would have reacted to all of this two years ago. Not the stuff with the amalgamates- past-Alphys would have hated herself for that just as much as present-Alphys does- but the stuff with the monitors.

How would the weeb so invested in human culture that she joined a Human Fan Club accept the responsibility of defending against a human?

_"She's s-so beautiful."_

_"I know, right! Absolutely gorgeous." It's rare that Alphys likes one of her friend's musicals (she humors his tastes just like he humors hers), so hearing any measure of praise for the dancers and actors gets him hyped._

_"I wonder if they look like this in r-real life."_

_"Well, of course there's some stage makeup involved, darling. Even humans have imperfections!" If a ghost could look exasperated, he would. She's lucky his voice is so expressive, it's the only way to tell what he's thinking._

_"Even s-so... she doesn't seem violent. If she c-came down here, do you think Asgore would s-spare her?"_

_"He's killed innocent humans before, darling, and he'll do it again. It's the only way to escape, after all."_

_"I f-feel like it's wrong, though. Should we really be h-hurting all of them?"_

_"I hate it just as much as you do, but... I don't think we have a choice."_

_Silence._

_"But don't worry, darling! Maybe a human will come through, and we can meet them before they go. We can be the only monsters_ not _trying to kill them!"_

_"Y-yeah, I guess. I just wish there was another w-way."_

* * *

It’s nearly midnight. Alphys’ eyes are blurry, even with her glasses. She’s never blown through a new show as fast as she blew through that one, and it’s left her exhausted.

A yawn stretches her mouth, and she leans back in her chair, closes her eyes for a blink, and struggles to reopen them. Definitely time for bed.

The world swims in front of her, the doors of the Ruins warping and bending and almost seeming to open. Alphys chuckles. _I wish_.

She looks again, just as the doors stop moving and the human slips out into the snow.

It’s like her system has been doused in caffeine. 

There’s a human. A real, live human has just walked into the Underground.

She launches from her seat and gets as close to the monitor as she can. Newly alert eyes scan over every detail of the creature before her.

If they weren’t a human, they would be pretty underwhelming. They’re a kid, no older than probably ten or eleven, but… they’re not adorable and kawaii like the kids in her anime or cute and doll-like like the blonde blue-eyed kids in Mettaton’s musicals. They’re actually kinda chubby, and their skin has an almost yellow pallor. Their haircut is messy and jagged, and their bangs are less cute and flattering than wild and unbrushed. There’s a bandaid barely sticking to their face, and they brandish a twig before them like a sword. Their onesie is baggy, and covered in what look like burn marks(?). They shiver in the cold.

Alphys should be thoroughly unimpressed, but she’s really _fascinated_. This isn't a human on a screen or poster. Their face isn't covered in makeup or photoshopped to perfection. They're a weird, lumpy bag of flesh and power, and they're transfixing.

This is a human child. She’s practically vibrating with the possibilities.

And she can see that Sans has also noticed them (which makes sense, since his sentry station is just a little ways down the path).

Sans is… well, she’s watched him enough on the cameras that he doesn’t creep her out quite as much as he used to. He spends most of his time sleeping, so of course he’s not exactly terrifying.

But something about the way he sometimes seems to pop into thin air in one place and then pop out in another sends a chill down her spine. Sometimes, she watches him take a 'shortcut' into nothingness and gets sudden flashbacks to strange symbols and old blueprints.

And he’s certainly pulling all the stops to intimidate this human. A branch snaps behind them and they whirl, shaking. He pointedly crunches a few of his footsteps, and they raise their twig higher.

For someone who claims to give almost no shits about anything except his brother, he’s really hamming it up. 

But he’s handling this, even if she doesn’t like how he’s handling it. As long as he’s taking care of the immediate problem, she can think about her next steps.

Of course, her Asgore-appointed duty is to report the human. Raise the alarm, ready the defenses, etc. Undyne is also under the impression that she's going to get a warning. But. Alphys has already made her justification for not telling Undyne yet. And hell, if Sans has found the human, his brother probably won't be far behind. Papyrus is many things, but lax in his duties to Undyne is not one of them. He'll tell her.

The system will work around her. The human's journey will be a dangerous one, that's for sure. That tiny, lumpy child... imagining them trying to fight Undyne would be comical if it weren't so depressing. She pushes those thoughts out of her mind before she can get too sad thinking about this kid's probable fate.

For now, _there's a motherfricking human in the Underground_ and Alphys just wants to watch them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alphys' entire life is just good intentions with very questionable outcomes. let's see how this one goes (jk we already know lmao).
> 
> edit: i suck at using this site, so i backdated this by accident when i published it. oopsie. let's try this again


	2. Fixation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The human continues their journey, and Alphys grapples with the realization that she kinda wants to help them.

Alphys watches the human’s lips move as they talk to Sans and wishes she could hear their voice for herself. Damn silent monitors. Why didn’t she have the foresight to install microphones on her cameras? 

Anyway. She doesn’t know when in the last two minutes the desire to watch them became the desire to talk to them, but now all she can think about is whether they sound like a monster child, whether they speak the same language as monsters.

She wants to ask them everything she’s ever wondered about humans. Which is a lot. And sure, they probably don’t know the stuff about anime- from what she’s watched, juvenile humans watch specific child-oriented shows- but just imagine how much they _can_ tell her.

Her train of thought is interrupted by a reminder that not all monsters want such a peaceful interaction. Faster than she can blink, Snowdrake lunges out of a bush, and she’s sure their adventure is over. 

They stumble back, twig shaking in front of them as Snowdrake (who’s older now than when she last saw him, who looks _eerily like his mother did_ ) bares his teeth and rattles his feathers.

And as he throws projectiles of ice and snow, as the human raises their arms and recoils with each hit… she watches them raise that twig, something steely glinting in their eyes for a moment. Their soul glows bloodred, and Alphys can only stare because _this is what a determined soul looks like_. For a moment, it seems inevitable that they’re going to swing at Snowdrake, hit back for every wound they’ve taken so far.

The Snowdrake says something (probably one of his horrible puns, Alphys thinks) and the human lowers the twig and doubles over in apparent laughter.

It’s obviously forced- their shoulders are shaking more from pain than anything, and their eyes stay desperately trained on the monster in front of them- but the fact that they’re laughing is clear. The stick is lowered to their side, hostility gone.

What are they doing? This can’t really be a strategy.

But Snowdrake’s eyes widen. He says something, and flutters almost triumphantly back into the bushes.

_Fascinating._

They get to their feet, and Alphys’ heart lurches at the limp in their steps. If this is what just one encounter has done to them… 

She almost doesn’t want to watch anymore. A bad outcome seems pretty inevitable.

But they stand in the snow next to the path for a moment, and seem to straighten slightly. Something brings that determination back to their eyes, and they walk decisively to the box a few feet away and rummage around until they procure a glove and move on.

She’s seen a thousand monsters walk around here and put things in that box and play in the snow, but the way this human does it is just so _intriguing and new and omg this is a determined human and they’re not evil as far as she can tell and-_

Well, so far, everything about this is a dream come true. She’s watching history unfold, and it’s just as awesome as she’s always imagined.

* * *

Alphys can't really hold it against Sans that he shows the human to Papyrus, because hell, what's Papyrus gonna do? He's just as comically excited externally as she is internally, and something tells her he's not about to turn to violence (unless they ignore his puzzles or turn their nose up at his spaghetti, of course). She can practically hear his nasally proclamations of greatness and triumph from here.

Papyrus is not going to be a huge issue, but seeing his comical, cartoonish excitement makes her maybe slightly regret not alerting everyone the second she saw the human. He should have been mobilized and ready, not surprised to the point of an impromptu monologue. Undyne should be shoring up the defenses right now.

If she'd done her job, the Underground would be safe and the Barrier broken within a few hours.

At least Papyrus knows now, so Undyne will probably know as well within the hour. The process will work around Alphys, which should be reassuring. It really should be. One of her goals in this job has been to spend as much time as possible shacked up in her lab, not interacting with people. So why the hell does she kinda not want to be a bystander? Why does she want to be down there with the human, not just watching the monitors ~~like the shut-in creep she is~~ but actually helping them stay alive?

But what good would trying to help them even do? Face it, the most she’s going to be able to do is maybe chase them down and nerd out over them when they reach Hotland. It’s not like she’s cool enough to hold their attention, and all she could potentially do for them is not activate lasers or puzzles.

Yeah, like they’re going to respect her for just not making an effort to kill them.

_"Gee, Alphys, thanks for not murdering me or making me do mind-numbing puzzles! Can I have your autograph? You're my hero!"_

Even if she does get to dork out at them for a few minutes before sending them on their merry way, they'll just realize that she's been watching their life-or-death journey like reality TV, and they'll go from vaguely uncomfortable to creeped out faster than she can say "S-sorry for stalking you!"

If only there were a way to make it look like she was protecting them or helping them.

If she were someone like Undyne, the hero type, maybe she could think of something badass and dramatic and just counterintuitive enough that they wouldn't catch on. But she’s not headstrong or creative enough to put something together in the time she has.

So she’ll settle for watching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, alphys, where will you ever find someone creative, pushy, and incredibly wealthy, who also has the kind of influence and acting skills to make a fake conflict seem real?
> 
> idk


	3. Wake Up Call

It’s been… what, seventeen hours? Eighteen? The human has been wandering around Snowdin Forest for the better part of a day now, and Alphys has been watching them the whole time.

She glances at the clock, glowing on her desk. 7:21 PM. Ugh. She should really sleep soon.

Another hour can’t hurt. She won’t be able to forgive herself if she misses something important. She can just make it to 8:30, sleep for a few hours, and come back fresh.

The human puts down the note they were reading and turns their attention to the frozen block of spaghetti next to them.

The monitor blurs violently. Her eyelids droop, and snap back up to the child. They’re still poking at the spaghetti with the tip of their stick.

Back to the clock. 7:22.

Everything is dragging with exhaustion. A slo mo filter has been applied to the universe, and just noticing that fact makes her brain feel heavy and fuzzy.

The monitors seem to sway, brightness stinging her eyes. She means to just close them for a second, blink the spots away, and get back to watching, but the darkness is just so soothing. She hadn't realized how sore her eyes were until now, and it really can't hurt to take one more second.

* * *

**It’s too dark to see anything. The darkness isn’t soothing anymore. It seems to sink around her, swirling like tar, weighing on her. Her eyes snap wide open, staring into the void. This feels wrong, somehow.**

**Alphys feels for the walls around her. Nothing there.**

**For a moment, she can swear she sees yellow out of the corner of her eye. Her instincts are on fire. FIGHT or FLEE.**

**There’s a sound like dripping echoing around her. She’s heard this before.**

**She keeps feeling around, both hoping to find something solid and dreading what she might touch. It’s not surprising when her hand lands in something sticky ( _deja vu_ ), but she shrieks and falls backwards anyway**

**And the stickiness is under her, it’s climbing up her body and there’s a voice**

**No, it’s three voices, five, ten**

**She can’t tell if they’re whispering or screaming or both or neither**

**_Welcome to my special hell_ **

**She sinking and she’s screaming and**

The ringing of her phone sends her jolting upwards in her chair, momentum tipping her backwards. The adrenaline is still coursing, and she can distantly hear her own ragged, panicked breathing.

The phone isn’t ringing anymore. It’s enough to pull Alphys down from imminent panic, but there's still a lurking unease. Normally she would call Undyne right now and bullshit for awhile about anime or weapons or optimal explosion radius, but there are conversations she doesn’t want to have with her right now.

Namely, “Alphys, why didn’t you tell me about the human?”

Yeah… nope. She still hasn’t thought of a good enough excuse. Maybe saying “I was away from the monitors” would have worked a few hours ago, but how can she expect Undyne to believe that she was just not doing her job for the better part of a day?

Calling Undyne is off the table. She sets her phone down a few feet away and turns back to the child.

It starts ringing again.

Alphys stares it down. Sweat prickles on her palms.

She picks it up, turns it over in her hands. 

She switches it off and tosses it onto her desk.

* * *

3:32 AM.

Sleep is for losers. Winners refresh with caffeine. She takes another sip from her novelty mug (it really is freaky how much it looks like her) and waits for the buzz to set in.

Speaking of losers who want to sleep, the kid looks just as tired as she feels. They’ve probably been running from battle to puzzle to battle on a cocktail of curiosity and adrenaline, and it’s obviously starting to wear off.

They might not make it to Snowdin, and Alphys' very buzzed mind is riveted. This would make a great anime- _a human child battling through a hostile foreign land- what will happen next?_

Maybe it’s time to dust off the fanfiction account.

* * *

3:38 AM.

Just a second ago, she was having some slightly manic fun trying to figure out the X-O puzzle the human is currently stuck on, and now her phone. Is ringing. Again.

Someone has been calling on and off for the last few hours and it’s just cramping her entire style and-

Before her caffeine-hazed mind notices it, she’s standing up, grabbing the phone off of her desk, and answering.

“ _What_ is it?”

“ALPHYS, MY FRIEND! IT IS I, PAPYRUS!” Papyrus? She’s been watching him on the monitors, and she’s 95% sure he hasn’t been pulling his phone out every few minutes to irritate the hell out of her-

“WHY MIGHT PAPYRUS BE CALLING ME AT THIS ODD HOUR, YOU ASK? WELL, PREPARE TO BE AMAZED!”

A dramatic pause. It’s like talking to Mettaton. Maybe she should introduce them. 

On second thought, no. Horrible idea.

“Yeah, P-Papyrus?”

“THERE IS A HUMAN IN THE UNDERGROUND, AND I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM CURRENTLY KEEPING THEM OCCUPIED WITH VARIOUS PUZZLES AND JAPES!”

"That’s, uh, really great. But why would you n-need me for that?”

“DO YOU REMEMBER THE COLORED TILE PUZZLE YOU WERE MAKING FOR ME? IF THAT WERE COMPLETED, IT WOULD BE SURE TO CONFOUND THEM!”

Oh, wow. Way to forget about a project. Alphys has been working on that thing as a favor to Undyne, and really all that's left to make is a control panel… but there's no way she can make a whole control panel in the hour or two before the human gets to the puzzle.

Honestly, that puzzle would have had a real chance of stopping the human, if only because they'd have to stand there for a few hours trying to keep track of the rules. So, maybe she’s a little relieved it isn’t finished.

“Uh, yeah, I remember. I don’t think I can complete it before they g-get there though.”

“THAT’S UNFORTUNATE! LUCKILY, THE GREAT PAPYRUS _ALWAYS_ FINDS A WAY!”

_Click._

Talking to Papyrus is just… a whirlwind. Every time. One second she's being yelled at, the next she's being hung up on.

Then again, pretty much everyone who calls her is like that. Undyne, Mettaton, the families- they’re always dialed up to eleven.

If she ever does dust off the fanfic account, she’s going to have to familiarize herself with the capslock button.

Her phone starts ringing again. She wants to punch something.

She looks at the caller ID, and that anger freezes into cold dread. Mettaton, who she hasn’t talked to for… a month? Two? It’s hard to keep track at this point.

Especially because every single one of their conversations these days starts with Mettaton’s questions about his body and ends when she hangs up a second later.

Alphys understands why he wants the body, but would it kill him to talk to her about something else just once? It’s gotten to the point where she can’t even watch his shows because all she can hear when he’s talking is the auto-tuned disapproval in his voice when he says _HONESTLY, HAVE YOU MADE_ ANY _PROGRESS SINCE THE LAST TIME WE TALKED?_

The phone’s done ringing. Good. Maybe that goddamn robot has finally gotten the hint.

She turns back to the monitors, looks for the human or Papyrus or something- and oh, no.

She knew Papyrus would try to replace the puzzle with something, but whatever he’s doing with those spikes and blades _cannot_ be good.

Okay. Okay okay okay.

She needs to find a way to make a control panel in the next hour or else that human will _die_ and it will be _her fault_.

_More blood on your hands._

The phone starts ringing. Mettaton, again. He must be the asshole who’s been calling her all night. Maybe she can sneak an update into his first tuneup that makes him unable to get near a phone without disabling it.

That robot is going to be the death of her.

Robot. 

Alphys has access to a robot. He can interface with other tech. He can hook up to puzzles.

And it looks like he’s willing to do just about anything to get her to talk to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, this update took awhile. i thought i could be productive on vacation... apparently not lmao
> 
> to make up for it, i made this one longer than usual :)


	4. Teamwork

It’s been awhile since Alphys has had a solid game plan, and the nervous-excited-jittery anticipation of making one is rivaling the coffee buzz at this point.

She has her steps laid out. She’s written an outline for reference, she’s practiced her commanding, you-will-listen-to-me tone, and she has a box of tissues to (hopefully) control the incoming sweat.

She’s ready, and now she just needs Mettaton to call again. And since he’s been calling every thirty minutes for the last twelve-ish hours, the phone is bound to ring any minute now.

Any minute now.

Never mind that time is ticking away as Papyrus arranges what can only be described as a death-trap. The human will only be held up by X-O puzzles for so long, and if they reach whatever that trap is, their adventure will almost assuredly be over.

_Someone else is about to die on her._

No pressure. 

None at all.

Any minute now.

Any. Minu-

The shrill ring of her phone sends her jumping, not in her usual startled stress but a kind of excited stress.

It’s time. If she can just bring herself to answer.

C’mon, Alphys. Mew Mew would have answered already, asserted herself with a confident, _”It’s me! mew~”_

“H-Hello?”

“ALPHYS, DARLING, FINALLY! I’VE BEEN CALLING ALL NIGHT!” Yeah, she’s noticed. 

“Y-yeah, what’s up?” She knows what’s up. It’s very unlikely that it’s not related to his body.

“WELL, AS NICE AS OUR LITTLE CALLS ARE, I THINK IT’S TIME WE HAD A CHAT IN PERSON ABOUT THAT LOVELY BODY YOU HAVEN’T BEEN BUILDING.” His voice drips not just with autotune but with exasperation. Serious Mettaton used to scare her, but that was before she had the sheer power of caffeine and adrenaline coursing through her veins.

“Um, about that. I don’t have time to meet with you right n-now.” She has to be assertive.

“AND WHY NOT? SURELY YOU COULD TAKE _SOME_ TIME AWAY FROM THOSE LITTLE CAMERAS.” Usually she would let the diminishing of her job’s importance get to her, but this is not usual. This is her big moment.

“YOU DO KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS, DON’T YOU? I NEED THIS, DARLING. DON’T GET ME WRONG, THE RECTANGLE IS GORGEOUS AND MARKETABLE, BUT THAT BODY IS ME!” She understands, really. This form was supposed to be a transition, maybe for a few weeks while she got used to being Royal Scientist and did whatever menial tasks she'd thought the job would entail. She hadn't anticipated being so busy or getting so side-tracked. She hadn't anticipated that his body would be the only thing keeping their communication alive.

But right now, she's dealing with a time-sensitive issue. She can think about his body later.

“I can’t meet right n-now. Haven’t you heard about the h-human?” There. Drop a little hint. Catch his attention.

She expects a moment of silence, for him to try and process what he’s heard and control his enthusiasm.

“WELL.” So much for silence. She can practically hear the metaphorical (and literal) gears turning. “ALPHYS! WHY DIDN’T YOU LEAD WITH THAT? YOU’VE SEEN A HUMAN!” And suddenly, it’s like they haven't been basically ignoring each other for the last few weeks. Alphys is back in Human Fanclub, talking about what they’ll do when they meet their first human. 

* * *

_"What are you talking about?"_

_"Oh! I, uh, didn't s-see you there. I was j-just lost in thought, s-sorry."_

_"You were talking to yourself, darling. Care to share?"_

_"No, it's p-pretty stupid. Sorry. Let's just start the m-meeting, okay?"_

_"Not until you talk to me, gorgeous." For someone incorporeal, he sure is hard-headed when he wants to be._

_"I was just... thinking ab-bout what I'll say to a h-human if I ever meet one. I want to be c-cool, so I need to p-practice. There. I told you it was d-dumb."_

_"That's a brilliant idea, darling! We can't be friends with a human if we can't get them to trust us!"_

* * *

“Y-yeah, and, uh,” She finds herself faltering. This is it, the moment she reels him in, and it requires her to be confident and convincing. Which she is not good at. “I mean, I’ve been trying to watch over them, b-but right now they’re in danger. So. I have to f-focus on that.”

“KEEP ME UPDATED, DARLING! THIS WILL MAKE A PERFECT STORY- IMAGINE THE RATINGS!” And she can practically hear him about to hang up so she’s really blurting out her next words-

“W-wait! Maybe I actually can t-talk to you! If you help me with something!”

Silence.

"Uh, p-please?"

* * *

Calling Papyrus and giving him the good news that he can use the colored tile puzzle is wonderful. Watching him dismantle his death trap is even better.

Mettaton does exactly what Alphys has asked him to do- sits unassumingly next to the puzzle and makes it as easy as possible for the human. Convincing him was really easy, considering this will allow him to both see the human in person and talk to her about his body.

He hooks up to the mechanism as seamlessly as she could have hoped. He's used to extending his magic to machinery by now, and the puzzle activates without a hitch. Somehow, Papyrus, a huge MTT fan, doesn't notice that _hey, this machine looks exactly like a limbless Mettaton_.

Oh, Papyrus. What a strange, eccentric monster. He spins away as the human walks across his useless puzzle.

The human. Alphys is helping them. She watches them walk away unharmed and feels a gratification she hasn’t felt since she saw Mettaton operate his current body for the first time. 

She’s not just creeping on them or choosing not to make their journey harder. She is actively aiding them, assisting in their journey. For a moment, it’s like the last year and a half never happened.

Alphys desperately wants to keep feeling this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i vibe with alphys, but one of the reasons she’s still not exactly my favorite character is how manipulative she is- she’s a very pathological liar and spends most of canon treating the player like a character in her own personal anime. it’s sad to have to write that side of her, but it’s canon, so...
> 
> also, yeah, updates for this are going to be kinda slow for the foreseeable future. school is getting wild and my plan for this fic is a lot less fleshed out than Royal Scientist was, so this is going to take longer. sorry in advance for that.


	5. Inspiration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A plan begins to fall into place.

Alphys can only pretend to be some puppet master script writer extraordinaire for so long, because the puzzle is complete and Mettaton is currently on his way.

And sure, she can look at notes and hide her sweat as much as she wants when they’re talking over the phone, but in person she knows her tells are painfully obvious. Mettaton is self absorbed, but he’s not an idiot, and he knows her better than anyone. He’ll be able to tell the minute she tries anything.

At least she has a general idea of her ~~excuses~~ line of reasoning.

_I was busy._

_A body like this is far more complex to make than a box on a wheel._

_I already designed a line of products for you, I needed a break from making you things._

_~~I can’t even look at your body without getting chills anymore.~~ _

_~~You only talk to me to ask for things, and you’ll leave me as soon as you stop needing this body.~~ _

She’s shaking, and she only notices it when the doors _vwooosh_ open and a wheel skids across the linoleum.

She straightens her glasses and makes her way to the foyer.

Mettaton stops in his tracks (track?) and leans against the wall. Dramatically. Of course.

“ALPHYS! DARLING, IT’S WONDERFUL TO SEE YOUR FACE!” An exclamation mark flashes across his screen (because apparently he wasn’t being emphatic enough without it).

“Uh, yeah, you t-too Mettaton.” Silence reigns for a moment. “So, wh-”

“ALPHYS, GORGEOUS, I THINK WE SHOULD GET STRAIGHT TO IT. I NEED THIS BODY FROM YOU. YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD MAKE IT ONCE YOU WERE HIRED-”

“M-Mettaton, I-”

“NO BUTS, DARLING. YOU PROMISED, AND IT’S BEEN ALMOST TWO YEARS. WHAT. IS TAKING. SO. LONG?” He’s not leaning against the wall anymore. He’s upright, arms crossed over his screen- an action that used to look so dorky and fake but is somehow intimidating all of a sudden and she can’t get her thoughts in a coherent order-

“M-Mettaton, I have a job now! I’ve been trying to b-build it, I really have, but I’m so b-busy all the time, and now there’s a human and I just c-can’t prioritize it right now. I’m s-sorry.” 

He’s silent for another long moment. His screen is totally blank. He’s really an actor now.

_How nice of him, hiding how much he must hate her._

“THANK YOU, DARLING, FOR TELLING ME ABOUT THE HUMAN.”

“Wh-what?”

“WE’RE NOT DONE TALKING ABOUT MY BODY, BUT I WOULD BE INSINCERE IF I DIDN’T SAY THANK YOU FIRST. WE’VE SEEN A HUMAN, ALPHYS!” He wheels forward so suddenly that she flinches, and suddenly his arm is around her as he tows her forward into the hall.

“WE HELPED THEM! WE COULD HELP THEM AGAIN! AND IMAGINE THE RATINGS, DARLING! THIS WILL BE GREAT FOR BUSINESS!” Help them again. It’s not a bad idea.

Actually, it’s been eating at her since the puzzle.

She wants to help them again. And if Mettaton does too…

“WELL, LOOK AT THE TIME. MY NEXT TIMESLOT IS IN 20 MINUTES- DON’T FORGET ABOUT MY BODY, DARLING, I’LL BE BACK FOR IT! TOODLES!”

And just like that, he’s gone.

Alphys checks the time. 7:19 AM. She’s been awake for more than 24 hours now.

She sits down to make some more coffee and doesn’t even notice that she’s dozing off until the darkness has crawled from the edges of her vision to the center and consumed everything.

* * *

_Back to the shadows. The void stretches around her, deep and inky as ever._

_There’s no running, no hiding. She doesn’t scream this time, when Snowdrake shuffles into view, silent and looming._

_Sometimes it’s Endogeny, sometimes it’s Lemon Bread. Usually, she’s falling back into panic before she can tell who._

_Today, she stares at Snowdrake, and Snowdrake stares back._

_Snowdrake reaches out, exactly the way she did that horrible day **(as she melted, twisted, unable to recover or dust)**. Alphys finally recoils._

* * *

She doesn’t wake up with a start or a scream. She sits slowly up in her chair, rubs at her glasses. 

She dreams about them every time she sleeps. That nightmare was one of the mild ones, honestly. If anything, these dreams are a grounding reminder that as much as she helps the human or Undyne or Mettaton, _she will never escape the agony she’s caused._

The amalgamates exist. They’re not going away. Unless she kills them, which she refuses to consider.

_Your sins. Your burden._

She walks to the monitors. The human is a good distraction.

And she realizes exactly how much she’s missed, these last few hours. They’re on the camera at the back end of Snowdin. And they’re facing off with Papyrus.

Snowy wind blurs the air as bones break through the ground in front of them- for a moment Alphys wonders why they aren’t just lifting their soul out of the way, and then she notices its deep blue shade.

She’s seen blue magic before, but never in combat. The human’s soul is fighting gravity, and the human is obviously laboring to jump through some of the projectiles.

Papyrus’ mouth opens and closes as he speaks. She recognizes the poses he’s making- she’s seen him rehearsing them out here before. This must be what he was practicing for. 

He pauses as the fight seems to reach a climax. He says something, and the human recoils- they’re already injured, shivering. She can’t CHECK them from here, but their HP must be getting low. They’ve been hit a few times, now.

They look scared by whatever Papyrus is saying. Alphys is getting scared, too.

_You didn’t really save them. They’re still about to die. You did nothing._

She doesn’t realize she’s holding her breath until the snowy air clears enough to reveal... a dog chewing on a single bone. Papyrus’ intended attack, based on how he lunges for it. Strange how she even didn’t see the dog run into the frame.

As it bounds away with the bone, it seems to look right at her through the camera. Weird, sure, but also cute.

The human seems a little less nervous now. Alphys is a little less nervous, too. The tension is lessened. _Thank god._

And then, of course, Papyrus strikes his pose again, and more bones than she’s seen so far fly at them. 

She can’t watch.

When Alphys opens her eyes again, the human is crumpled, blood soaking the snow. 

It’s over. That realization _hurts_.

But no more bones come to finish them off. Alphys looks at Papyrus, and-

She’s never been more grateful for his ridiculous little eccentricities. He’s visibly winded (how can a skeleton even _get_ winded, though?) and he’s waving his fist in the air like a foiled anime villain.

The human gets shakily to their feet, fishes what she recognizes as a cinnamon bun from the Snowdin bunnies out of their pocket, and eats it.

It's a relief to watch the healing magic do its work. They straighten all the way and wave at Papyrus as he floats away. 

First Sans’ teleportation, and now Papyrus’ casual defiance of physics. These skeletons are weird.

What's really important, though, is that the human is safe for now. Alphys walks away to refill her coffee mug.

* * *

One coffee/noodle break later, she’s back at the monitors for more primetime viewing. She checks the camera where they’d been fighting and can’t find them, so she flips around the Snowdin cameras until she sees them- walking next to Papyrus.

The pair turns around and disappears into his house, and Alphys has no idea what’s going on. They were fighting a second ago, and now they’re just hanging out.

Five minutes later, she gets a notification that COOLSKELETON95 has posted a status update.

“DATING IS VERY DIFFICULT! THE HANDBOOK DID NOT MENTION HOW HARD IT WOULD BE TO BREAK AN INNOCENT HEART!”

A _date?_ Well, there goes that tentative plan to keep saving the human from Papyrus. Seems they’ve made up on their own.

What now, then? She can’t sabotage Undyne, because Undyne is less about traps and puzzles and more about ambushes and spears. Also, if they get to Hotland, Undyne can’t follow, so there won’t be anything to save them from.

Maybe she has to learn to be satisfied with her single heroic moment.

She could always just activate the puzzles and then pretend to save the human from them, but even their childish mind could see through that kind of a ruse.

The story just doesn’t function without a villain. Any anime connoisseur would know this.

Her phone rings. She snaps back to the real world and checks the caller ID. Mettaton. Of course.

If he could just leave her alone for two hours, honestly-

_”WE HELPED THEM! WE COULD HELP THEM AGAIN! AND IMAGINE THE RATINGS, DARLING!”_

Mettaton’s an actor. Mettaton’s strong enough to be convincingly intimidating to a child. Mettaton’s helped her help them once. Mettaton wants to help her help them again. 

And she still has something he needs.

A plan is already forming as she picks up the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alphys is starting to get,,, an Idea


	6. Ultimatum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to pitch her plan.

The call with Mettaton goes about how Alphys could have expected. He wants to see her progress on the body, she doesn’t want to show him, he proclaims that he’s coming to her lab, and she hangs up to start planning her Convince-MTT-to-Help-Me speech.

_Point 1: I am the only person who can make you a body._

_Point 2: I won’t be able to finish that body until the human is secure._

_Point 3: You can help me secure the human._

Plan complete. Hopefully she hasn’t overestimated how desperate he is.

She settles down to watch the monitors for awhile, trying to keep the anxiety at bay. Her tail is twitching the way it only does when she’s about to have a panic attack, and watching the human talk to Sans at the entrance to Waterfall is not doing much to help.

They're making their approach, and if she can't get Mettaton to help her now, she won't be able to prepare in time for their arrival.

She doesn't have time to spiral into panic mode about that, though, because Sans and the human suddenly pop out of existence in Waterfall. She’s almost immediately on the edge of her seat- _what if Sans is threatening them? Abducting them? Doing his sentry job for once and taking them to Asgore?_

This can't be happening. Sans is supposed to be creepy but harmless. _She hasn't even gotten a chance to meet them._

Alphys flips madly through her cameras until she catches a glimpse of a striped sweater- they’re in Grillby’s. Hopefully Sans will stick to his pranking from now on, because she can’t handle another mini-heart attack-

But that's exactly what she gets as the doors wooosh open with the usual accompanying blast of scorching Hotland air, and she practically jumps out of her scales. She is a living ball of stress, and Mettaton wheeling down the hall does not help.

“DARLING, HELLO AGAIN! SORRY FOR RUNNING OUT ON YOU EARLIER, I JUST COULDN’T DEPRIVE MY FANS OF MY GORGEOUS SELF." A bright red _M_ flashes onto his screen. "YOU KNOW HOW IT IS!”

No, she doesn’t. But that isn’t what she wants to dwell on right now.

“That's okay. I had to s-sleep anyway." He moves as she talks, his arm flourishing out to lean on the wall. "Come on, Mettaton, I have the b-body upstairs.” He stops himself mid-dramatic-lean and faces his LED panel right at her- the MTT-equivalent of staring in disbelief. 

“COULD YOU REPEAT YOURSELF, DARLING? I COULD HAVE SWORN I JUST HEARD YOU SAY THAT YOU WERE GOING TO LET ME SEE MY BODY.” His gloved hand rests on his side now, and his tone is just so smug. Something bitter inside her whispers that _she can’t let him think he’s won this._

She shoves it down, shoves her glasses up, and heads for the conveyor.

“Y-yeah, I thought you could see my p-progress.” _Calm, cool, casual. Minimize stutter, maximize confidence._ “I have it on my w-worktable.”

This is one of those rare moments where Mettaton is genuinely quiet. She used to know him well enough to read the silence, but it’s been so long and he’s controlling this form so well now that she has no idea. He could be excited or anticipating or pissed, for all she knows.

And then they’re standing before the less-than-glorious work in progress that is Mettaton EX. It's little more than a robotic skeleton, a spine with two limbs and a partial face. The only part that could be called even close to complete is the faceplate, and even that only has one eye and a mouth.

Mettaton takes it in. More silence stretches between them.

“ALPHYS, DARLING, WHERE’S THE REST OF IT?” He sounds like a boss scolding his laziest employee. She cringes.

“This, uh, this is a-all of it.”

The quiet descends again.

“IT DOESN’T HAVE ARMS.”

“N-No, it doesn’t.”

His screen is entirely red. Any doubt that he’s incredibly unhappy dissipates.

“IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE _SKIN_.” He crosses his arms over his screen.

“Y-yeah, it’s a work in progress…”

“ALPHYS, THERE’S BARELY A FACE! WHAT HAVE YOU EVEN BEEN DOING?”

“I, uh, I-”

“IT HAS BEEN _TWO YEARS_ SINCE YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD MAKE THIS, AND YOU'VE DONE _ALMOST NOTHING!_ ” He wheels around and forward, and Alphys hops back, nearly tripping over her own tail. She’d anticipated anger, but not this level of vitriol-

“M-Mettaton, I-”

“I ASKED YOU TO DO ONE THING FOR ME, _SWEETHEART_ , AND YOU’VE BARELY EVEN _STARTED_.” His screen is red, and the way he’s leaning forward over her is nothing short of malevolent.

“Mettaton! P-Please just let me _talk!_ ”

A beat. His screen is still red, his arms are still crossed, and he’s still looming over her like the villain she’s about to ask him to be, but at least he’s silent.

“I’m sorry that it’s not d-done. I haven’t had any t-time lately, with the human in the Underground. But! Ab-bout that! I, uh, I want to ask if you want to help me help them again.”

“AND WHY WOULD I WANT TO HELP YOU NOW, DARLING?” The pet names sound so bitter right now. Every _darling_ is a slap in the face.

“Like you said, it’s a human. We’ve _always_ wanted to b-befriend a human, and, uh,” She falters, because he’s not looking convinced at all, and maybe it’s just his poker face or maybe he’s really annoyed, and she can’t tell. “Also, l-like you said! Imagine the r-ratings!”

He doesn’t move his arms, but his screen flashes back to yellow, and he leans back a little bit.

“And, uh, maybe if you h-help me, I’ll have time t-to finish your body?” She contains her instinctual flinch at what she’s doing, and sees the moment he registers the implied ultimatum.

He straightens all the way, and his arms shift to his sides. Now she _knows_ it’s a poker face, and the knowledge is not comforting. His response takes a moment.

“I SUPPOSE YOU’RE RIGHT ABOUT THE RATINGS. AND HELPING THE HUMAN WAS GRATIFYING, SO I MIGHT BE WILLING TO HELP THEM AGAIN.” It’s obviously carefully worded, and the tension is clear in his voice. He knows what she's doing now, and he's not happy about it.

And he's about to be even less happy, because now is the time to clear up a little misconception.

She’s been dreading this moment.

“W-Well, actually, about that. I n-need someone to threaten them, j-just so I can save them and make them like m-monsters, right?" More like so they'll like her, but he doesn't need to know that. "But there's no one like that in H-Hotland right now. And you would be p-perfect! You're a r-robot, you're my invention, and people already think you're a w-weapon- it would be s-so convincing!" She lets herself sound just a bit triumphant, because the logic is all there. The anime protagonist has finished her monologue, and it's time to channel the power of friendship. 

He doesn’t react at all. Alphys _still_ can't read him and it’s throwing her off.

“Drama, t-tension, all that! You like that stuff, r-right?” She tries for a smile, and it feels like a grimace.

Canned laughter pours from the speaker on his chest. Something lurches in her stomach- she _built him_ that soundboard and he's using it to _mock her_.

“DARLING, YOU KNOW I'M NOT GOING TO HURT A HUMAN. I'LL FIND ANOTHER WAY TO GET RATINGS OUT OF THEM.”

He starts to wheel away and _no, this wasn’t supposed to go this way_ he can’t just laugh and leave right now-

“W-Well, I don’t think I can work on your body then. Not for the foreseeable f-future, anyway. So, uh, don’t b-bother checking back. I g-guess.” It feels gross to make the threat so obvious, but her only other choice is giving up on this, and she can’t. 

She's getting tired of getting no reaction from him. The way he keeps going silent is getting really irritating.

"ALRIGHT, DARLING. I'LL PLAY ALONG-"

"Thank you, Mettaton, thank you so m-mu-"

"ON ONE CONDITION. YOU'LL FINISH MY BODY NOW. THEN I'LL HELP YOU WITH THIS."

He is in no position to make demands and for a second relief turns to anger. But she needs him, and if this is what it takes, this is what it takes. If it will make sure he helps her and doesn't betray her ~~and doesn't abandon her~~ , she can try and finish this now.

Although, when he leaves a few minutes later, tense and quiet and obviously withholding some choice words, she gives herself a moment to consider that maybe this was a horrible mistake.

Whatever. It’s done. It can’t be undone. He's going to help her, and it's time to start preparing. The human will be here relatively soon, and there’s a lot to get ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone Sucks Here = motto of this entire fic, probably


	7. Improv

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a reason Alphys isn't an actress.

As soon as Mettaton is gone, Alphys slumps in her desk chair and lets the exhaustion sink into her. It’s physical and mental and a thousand things at once, and she needs a distraction. Badly.

Her phone dings with a _New Message!_ from Undernet. Her savior.

The relief of something to do with her time spoils when she opens her mailbox and sees a shiny new DM from a user named @♥MTT♥.

_@♥MTT♥: Don’t forget your end of our little bargain._

She and Mettaton haven't really interacted on Undernet. Ever. She'd kinda thought he didn't know she had an account, and she hasn't felt an urgent need to tell him. But OF COURSE he knows, and OF COURSE he only messages her as soon as he needs to bug her about his body even more.

Well, at least it would certainly be a way to pass the time.

She brings Mettaton EX and her toolbox down from her workbench and heads down to the Lower Lab. That’s where the scrap metal is, and she does not feel like hauling it back upstairs for this.

As she hauls EX into the elevator, she starts to brainstorm her priority list.

The heart container and chassis are the last parts that are crucial for function. The arms are also important. The complete faceplate and synthetic skin are aesthetic elements, but she knows they’re pretty much non-negotiable. If Mettaton doesn’t get to look pretty and human in this form, he’ll probably kill her. 

She already has her heart piece ready, so now she just needs to make a casing to go around it. The heart will essentially be a focal point of his design, meant to look like a human soul. It’ll make an easy access point when he binds to the body, and tie well to the magical manipulation of his limbs. This has the dual purpose of protecting him- once he’s corporeal and bound to his body, if the heart is hit, he’ll just lose magical control and attachment to his limbs before anything crucial is damaged. 

This kind of engineering is what she does best. It was only because of her convincing engineering that she was hired to do soul magic in the first place. And. Well. The soul magic thing didn’t go too great. 

Robotics is her forte, and if she has to make this body, she’s going to do it to the best of her ability.

This is just the first step towards meeting a human, and Alphys is not going to botch it.

* * *

Two hours pass in a blur. She manages to get the basic glass casing attached, then drops the heart piece in and practices opening and closing it. It looks sort of lame now, just a clear heart sitting in a glass box, but once Mettaton’s possessing the body, his magic should theoretically make the heart float in the box. That, combined with the pretty pink of his magic, should make the heart a perfect fit for the rest of his design.

Hopefully. Because if this doesn’t work _exactly_ how he’s been dreaming, he probably won’t help her.

The heart’s as good as it’s gonna be for now. **Step 2: Cover Up the Chest Wires** has officially begun.

The chassis’ main purpose will be to cover up his internal wires, provide a nice speaker to replace his mic, and hold his battery.

The battery she isn’t worried about. He has a perfectly good one in his current form, and she can hook it up to this one. The only problem is that this form has a _lot_ more to power, so it might need to be optimized. She’ll see. The name of the game right now is fast completion, not full functionality.

That goes against everything she believes as a scientist, of course- everything should be done with precision and care.

But hey, at least this isn’t going to drag out like her determination experiments did.

* * *

Alphys has fully lost track of how long she’s been down here by the time her phone starts ringing.

And of course it’s Mettaton. Of course. He’s the only person she’s talked to in the last three days. She’s been staring at his future body for most of today. She needs a break from MTT.

She answers the phone anyway. There won’t be a break as long as she’s working with him, and she needs to get used to it soon.

“H-Hello?”

“HI, DARLING, I’M JUST CHECKING IN. DID YOU GET MY MESSAGE?”

“Uh, yeah, I did. I’ve been working on your b-body for a few hours now, actually.”

“OH, FABULOUS, DARLING! WELL, UPDATE ME WHEN IT’S FINISHED, AND-”

“Actually, uh, you could come over n-now” and holy shit she just interrupted Mettaton where did she get she willpower to do that “and see it, and maybe we could start our script? For the h-human?”

A pause. She can practically hear him processing the experience of being talked over.

“ALRIGHT, DARLING, I’LL BE THERE SOON. BYE NOW!”

 _Click._

She grabs her slightly-more-finished-than-before Mettaton EX and heads back to the Upper Lab.

* * *

“NO, DARLING, THAT’S NOT RIGHT AT ALL.”

Alphys fights a sigh. She has pitched three backstory ideas so far, and apparently _none of them_ are up to Mettaton’s exacting standards.

The body was a bit more of a hit this time, at least. He just said something passive aggressive about how she’s “ _FINALLY_ TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY”.

And now they’re starting to figure out their plan as she installs the switch on his back. 

“Are you sure? I think it would make them f-feel like there’s more of a scheme against them, like the stakes are h-higher.”

“BY THIS POINT THEY WILL HAVE DEFEATED UNDYNE. TELLING THEM THAT I’M ONE OF HER UNDERLINGS WILL JUST _DIMINISH_ ME AS A THREAT.”

“O-Okay. Um. What else could we say?”

Now it’s Mettaton that seems like he would sigh if he could. 

“I DON’T KNOW, DARLING, THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE _YOUR_ LITTLE SCHEME.”

“But you know how to write scripts. Just t-tell me how you would write this story for your show, m-maybe?” She winds a wire around his battery case as she waits for him to respond.

“UGH, FINE. TRY SOMETHING SIMPLE. I WENT ROGUE, OR AN UPGRADE FAILED, OR MY ANTI-HUMAN COMBAT SYSTEMS ACTIVATED UNEXPECTEDLY. NONE OF THESE SILLY ANIME BACKSTORIES.”

“Actually, yeah! We could say that, uh, I tried to remove some weapons when I saw them c-coming, and you malfunctioned, or, uh, something!”

“SURE, DARLING. HOW DO YOU WANT TO TELL THEM THAT?” How? She hadn’t thought about that at all.

“Uh, I, um-”

“PRETEND I’M AN UNUSUALLY GORGEOUS HUMAN. YOU’RE MEETING ME FOR THE FIRST TIME. WHAT DO YOU SAY?” The wrench taps against his metal side as she sorts out her train of thought.

“Um. Okay. S-so, hi, I’m Alphys! Hi! W-Wow, you’re, uh, r-really a human! Awesome!”

“YES, WE’VE ESTABLISHED THAT I’M HUMAN. IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE, OR CAN I GET ON WITH MY _HUMAN_ LIFE?”

“Actually! You need to, uh, be careful! B-Because there’s, um, a r-robot!” Ugh. Is this really the best she can do?

Mettaton just gestures for her to continue.

“It’s, uh, m-my robot, M-Mettaton. He was supposed to be a T-TV star, but I, uh, added weapons? For combat. Against h-humans? And I tried to remove them when I saw you. B-But now he’s broken.”

“AND HOW EXACTLY DO YOU EXPECT THEM TO BUY THIS WHEN EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SOUNDS LIKE A QUESTION?”

“Y-yeah, hopefully it’ll be better in the m-moment. Uh. How are you gonna c-come into this?” She puts the final screw into the switch piece and slowly fastens it.

“HM. WELL, I DO HAVE TO GET SOME RATINGS OUT OF THIS. MAYBE WE COULD ADD THEM INTO ONE OF MY REGULAR SEGMENTS? I HAVE A GAME SHOW, A NEWS SLOT-”

“This has to be serious, Mettaton, they have to feel like they’re in r-real danger. This isn’t j-just a game show-”

“LET ME FINISH.” If he wasn’t fed up before, he is now. “WE CAN GIVE IT STAKES, DARLING, BUT I NEED TO GET SOMETHING OUT OF THIS TOO, AND THIS IS HOW WE GET RATINGS.”

“You’re getting a whole new b-body out of this. Please, l-let me decide.”

“THIS IS WHAT FITS YOUR STORY, DARLING. WHAT COMPLIMENTS A MALFUNCTIONING TV STAR ROBOT BETTER THAN A HIGH-STAKES GAME SHOW?”

He’s not wrong. Alphys wishes he was wrong, but he isn’t. She doesn’t want to concede, but his idea is actually not horrible.

“F-fine. But there have to be stakes.”

“FINE. I’LL ELECTROCUTE THEM OR SOMETHING, I DON’T KNOW. HOW DO YOU WANT TO HELP THEM?”

She closes the panel on his back, flicking the switch back and forth to test its oiling. Once she installs EX, that switch will trigger his transformation. Right now, it’s just an obviously labeled toggle.

“M-Maybe I could give them answers? To your qu-questions?”

* * *

_**Rehearsal Take 1:** _

“ALRIGHT, FIRST QUESTION. WHAT’S THE KING’S FULL NAME: LORD FLUFFYBUNS, FUZZY PUSHOVER, ASGORE DREEMURR, OR DR. FRIENDSHIP?”

...

"DARLING, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

“I, uh, thought maybe I could mouth the answers to them?”

“THAT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE A LETTER. TRY USING YOUR HANDS, HONESTLY.”

* * *

_**Rehearsal Take 2:** _

“QUESTION ONE- WHAT ARE ROBOTS MADE OF: HOPES AND DREAMS, METAL AND MAGIC, SNIPS AND SNAILS, OR- WHAT LETTER IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE?”

“Isn’t the c-correct answer B?”

“YES, BUT THAT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE A B. DO YOU NEED ME TO SHOW YOU HOW TO MAKE A B?”

“N-No, see, I’ve got it-”

“NO, YOU HAVEN’T GOT IT, YOU’RE GOING TO CONFUSE THEM-”

* * *

_**Rehearsal Take 3:** _

"ONTO THE FOURTH QUESTION! LET'S TRY SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE CHALLENGING. HOW MANY FLIES ARE IN THIS JAR?"

Alphys has to imagine a jar. Hopefully he'll be able to procure a real one before they really have to do this.

"IS IT 54, 53, 55, OR 52?"

_"A, it's A, th-the answer's A-"_

"WHAT ARE YOU WHISPERING?"

"Oh, sorry, I just got into the h-hand motions, I was whispering the answer. S-sorry."

"WE WANT THEM TO THINK THAT YOU'RE _SECRETLY_ HELPING THEM, NOT _OBVIOUSLY, VERBALLY_ HELPING THEM. LET'S TRY AGAIN, SHALL WE?"

* * *

_**Rehearsal Take 4:** _

“ALRIGHT, ONTO THE BIG GUNS. IN THE DATING SIM VIDEO GAME “MEW MEW KISSY CUTIE, WHAT IS MEW MEW’S FAVORITE FOOD?”

.  
.  
.

“ALPHYS, YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO-”

“Sn-snail ice cream! It’s snail ice cream!”

Acting is hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, another chapter? i've had a lot of time on my hands since my school shut down.
> 
> also, i managed to roughly plan out the rest of this fic, so i know it'll be around 21-22 chapters! yay for having an outline.
> 
> times are getting wild, so stay safe guys <3


	8. Promise

After Alphys shoos Mettaton out the doors, she just has to stand there for a moment, processing everything. Between working on his body and practicing the plan, he’s been on her mind or in her space all day.

In short, she’s tired. 

And somehow, it really doesn’t feel like the good drain she always got after their anime nights and fanclub meetings. Those nights always ended with the satisfaction of having spent time with a kindred spirit.

Now, standing here in the foyer of her lab and watching him leave feels… empty. She doesn't know why. He's still talking to her. He hasn't left her behind. This is what she wanted, what she hoped for when she originally stopped working on his body.

The frenetic energy of their rehearsals and back-and-forth slips through her claws, and exhaustion takes its place.

She settles down in front of her monitors and switches from the feed. The human’s doing a puzzle, and she just… doesn’t feel like she can stress over the solution right now.

One of her smartest ideas was making her monitors disk-compatible, because it means that she can use these weird emotional times to enjoy some old, distracting classics.

And what could be more distracting or classic than a Mew Mew 1 marathon?

* * *

She’s almost at the scene where Mew Mew accidentally uses her kiss abilities for the first time when her phone rings. The sound sets her on edge immediately.

_Please, please don’t be Mettaton again._

It’s... Undyne. Alphys sends a silent thanks to whatever powers might be out there, choosing who calls her. They’ve done a pretty shitty job in the past, but they must be getting better if they’re sending Undyne her way.

Alphys pauses the show and... well, she hesitates to answer, honestly. It’s not Mettaton, sure, but there are still a lot of reasons to be cautious. She hasn’t talked to Undyne since the human fell, and Undyne has to be suspicious of her silence by now. ~Slightly Confident Alphys~ left as soon as Mettaton did, and right now she doesn’t know how Tired Alphys is gonna come up with convincing excuses.

“H-Hello?” She winces at the sound of her own voice. It seems so loud in the otherwise silent hall.

“Hey, nerd! GUESS WHAT?” She might not be able to read Mettaton anymore, but Undyne is always easy. She seems purely excited, and the breath Alphys was holding leaves her lungs in a rush. Nothing to worry about here.

“What, Undyne?” She's pretty sure she knows what.

“There’s a human in the Underground!!!!” Yeah. That.

“Oh, r-really? Where are they?” Playing dumb is really her best bet. It minimizes the things she’s going to have to explain later.

“Waterfall! I think I really intimidated them, cuz they keep hiding in that grass!!!”

“Oh, wow-”

“But don’t worry, punk! I remember the protected grass! I won’t OBLITERATE them until they're in the open!!!!”

“Well, uh, thanks.” They're safe for now- what a relief. Thank god for conveniently placed seagrass. “Did they really get past P-Papyrus?”

“Yeah, you know that dork couldn’t hurt a fly. He’s trying to make us ‘get along’. HAH!”

“Ha, y-yeah, sounds like Papyrus…” More relief, this time for the existence of eccentric, easily-befriended skeletons.

“ANYWAYS! I’m gonna fight them eventually, and I want you to watch!!!”

“Uh, sure, I can watch your fight-”

“AWESOME! I was really hoping you would say that!!!” Her words are rushed, and she doesn't follow them up with any of her usual loud assertions of toughness. It makes Alphys feel like maybe they were both nervous, and omg _cute-_

“Y-Yea-”

"YEAH! The human could show up any minute now, and I've gotta find a dramatic ambush spot. See ya!"

_Click._

Alphys ignores the fluttery feeling that’s replaced the weird emptiness in her stomach. It's only natural that talking to Undyne was so nice. This is her friend-crush, and they haven't spoken in a while, after all. She's just relieved there were no unanswerable questions about her radio silence regarding the human these last few days.

She dismisses any deeper interpretation her mind is trying to make and takes out the Mew Mew disc. 

Undyne’s fight could happen any minute now, and she’s promised not to miss it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter, but the next one is taking a very long time, so I wanted to update with something. Plus, I feel like I haven't written about Alphys' crush on Undyne enough in this fic so far, which needed to be fixed.


	9. Setting the Scene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're approaching, and time to prepare is running out. Assuming they don't die, that is.

Okay, so maybe “any minute now” was a bit of an exaggeration. Or, really, a lot of an exaggeration. There is no fight, and as far as Alphys can tell, there won't be one for the foreseeable future. There’s a confrontation, sure, which she watches with bated breath as the human runs across the catwalks of Waterfall, Undyne and her spears never far behind. 

Most of her is desperately begging the universe to give the human a chance. She cringes every time a spear shoots up next to their foot or they stumble and almost teeter over the edge of the boardwalk. 

Behind all that reasonable concern, a little rebellious part of her is just stuck in a loop of _”wow, angry armored Undyne is hot”_.

Ahem. Moving on.

She does think they’re going to fight, especially when Undyne corners the human at the end of the boardwalk.

But they get away. Or, rather, Undyne lets them fall away. They’re wandering around Blook Acres while Undyne takes the long way around to the other end of Waterfall.

She calls Alphys at some point, too. The human is talking to old Gerson, and Undyne is making her way through the swamp, when she pulls out her phone to.... get some frustration off her chest, basically.

Alphys has heard Serious Royal Guard Undyne before- dealing with those Snowdin kids who like to bug her, telling Alphys about how the guard rotations in Hotland work, things like that- but never has she heard this Undyne. Serious and vengeful and single-mindedly focused on killing this… this _child_. 

If Alphys didn’t know better, she’d think that Undyne had somehow become Determined.

It’s scary, because trying to imagine that chubby little kid fighting _spear-wielding, pissed off Undyne_ would be funny if it weren't so depressing. The worst she’s seen them fight is Papyrus, and Papyrus wasn’t even trying to kill them, as far as she could tell.

There’s a good chance that they’re going to die before her plan even starts.

* * *

She checks in periodically as they make their way out of the dumps. The sobering revelation that they have almost no chance has made her a little less excited to watch them fight Undyne. But a promise is a promise, and she’s sacrificed enough of her integrity in the last few years that this isn’t one she can break. 

When it comes to Alphys’ plan, she’s not too stressed about timing- their path through Waterfall is a meandering one, and they keep backtracking to buy Nice Cream and talk to Sans.

Besides, what’s the use in panicking over _when_ they’ll get here if the question of _whether_ they’ll get here is hanging so ominously over her head?

Anyway. Alphys can see Undyne waiting for them on the other side of the darkening lantern room, and they won’t get there for a little while.

But then, once they do, Alphys realizes, they’ll… almost be here, actually.

That should be their final confrontation with Undyne. After that (if they somehow survive), they’ll be on her doorstep.

Suddenly, she _is_ stressed about timing. She hasn’t even warned Mettaton that he might have to help her soon! Oh, he’s going to absolutely _ream_ her if he has to stop some other show halfway through for this.

It doesn’t take much to shake her out of that funk of preparing to watch them die.

So much to do, and apparently so little time to do it.

* * *

Okay, so maybe she’s overpreparing a bit. 

But honestly, it’s best to be over prepared for such a once-in-a-lifetime moment. Any tiny miscalculation could bring the whole facade crumbling down, _especially_ since Alphys is so self-admittedly incompetent at acting.

It’s better to prepare for their arrival and have them not make it then to assume they’ll die, under prepare, and completely fail to gain their trust.

With that line of logic, she has done everything she can to ensure that when the human gets here, she’ll be ready. The space behind the wall has been prepared for the MTT Brand Dramatic Entrance that’ll start the confrontation, the aforementioned MTT has been warned that he should stay close by and put a hold on filming anything for the next few hours, and all the planned upgrades to the human’s phone are ready to be installed.

Alphys is ready for them to get here. Now it’s just up to them to make it here.

* * *

Watching the human feel their way through the lantern room has her on the edge of her seat, because she can see Undyne hiding in the swamp just outside of it.

Will this be the final fight? They’re almost at the end of Waterfall, after all.

This is probably a good thing, because Alphys still needs to feed the amalgamates and do some work on Mettaton EX today, and if they fight here, she’ll have some time for that before they reach Hotland.

Hopefully, at least.

But no, this isn’t the final fight, because that little monster kid who’s so obsessed with Undyne jumps in and almost gets impaled. Alphys watches Undyne drag them back through the lantern room and drop them off with Gerson.

The human makes their way up through the echo flowers.

They’re getting close. Hell, they might avoid fighting with Undyne at all if they manage to beat her to the cliffs.

But they also might not avoid it, and if they don't avoid it they might die.

Alphys rubs at her eyes. She needs a break from this.

* * *

Of course, for Alphys, "break" means more, different work. Right now, that equals getting the amalgamates fed before they chew their way out of the Lower Lab or something. 

It's not really a relief to turn away from the monitors, because as stressful as watching the human is, getting into that silent elevator and descending into the basement is just as bad.

She always has to take a moment right after getting off the elevator to steel herself, especially since the musty smell and neglected atmosphere take some acclimating to.

As is routine now, she squares her shoulders and heads into the lab.

* * *

_Finally, there's nothing in her way. No grass, no meddling kids, just her and the human._

_An honest showdown._

_Their footsteps come to a stop on the path below. It's time. Undyne mentally reviews her Cool Monologue and steps forward to let the human know that she's here, and she's not fucking around._

* * *

Endogeny is always the easiest- they're literally just a dog personality-wise, and physically pretty harmless when she ignores their aggressive enthusiasm and the goop they drip everywhere.

They lean in as close as possible as she pours their food, and some of their goop drips onto her head. Ugh. She was never a dog person before this, and now that she has the equivalent of 20 dogs, she can confirm that this is not the species for her.

Especially since whenever she sees a dog, she can't help but remember the way the pack melted together, whimpering and whining and-

She heads off to look for Lemon Bread.

* * *

__

_The human stumbles as an unblocked spear catches them in the arm. The first hit of the battle._

_"NGAHHH! Enough warming up!"_

_That break in composure is all it takes for their soul to fade back to red. They don't need to be reminded of the change- they're up and sprinting into the caves._

* * *

Two down- not that Lemon Bread ever makes it easy. Lemon Bread loves to disguise herself as whatever's nearby (apparently one of the quirks of being a mashup of two very reclusive monsters). Feeding her is always preceded by essentially a scavenger hunt- which of these seemingly normal objects is actually an amalgamate today?

At least all she has to do to feed Reaper Bird is toss some chisps into the flower room.

* * *

_"So STOP being so damn resilient!" Another spear whizzes past their ear._

_It takes them a turn and a healing item to notice the change in their soul this time, but as soon as they do, they're running._

_They make a hard right turn, armored boots thundering behind them. They reach a flourescent sign- **WELCOME TO HOTLAND**._

__

__

_Hotland. The next area. They can see the exit of the caverns. Just a little further-_

_"You've escaped from me for the LAST time!"_

* * *

Feeding the amalgamates is an emotional rollercoaster, and right now Alphys is in the disgust phase. She can feel the remnants of Endogeny's goop on her head, and she had to change into a new lab coat- those goddamn Memoryheads and their attempts to drag her into the 'fun' have ruined like four coats worth of sleeves at this point.

At least all she has left to do is water the flowers. They can't hurt her, or mess up her clothes. All they can do is remind her of the endless frustration of examining petals over and over for any sign of determination or sentience.

Ugh, actually, being reminded of that kinda sucks. Why she keeps these things around, she'll never know. Honestly, she's probably just too lazy to cart them all up and out.

* * *

_Any semblance of composure on Undyne's part is a foregone conclusion. There are no more boulders to suplex in the tunnel, so she's channeling her rage into as many spears as possible._

_But their soul is still red, and they take it as their invitation to run once their turn comes._

_Out into the heat, and whoa, is that magma? No wonder this place is called Hotland._

 _They can focus on that later. For now, Undyne's feet are right behind them, and they don't know if they can make it-_

* * *

Put away the watering can, seal up the bag of dog food, pick up the scraps of chisp bags left behind by the messier eaters. Alphys feels more like a babysitter or housekeeper than a scientist sometimes.

Pretty shitty babysitter, letting the kids melt into horrifying abominations and crawl around in the pipes.

At this rate, it'll be a relief to go back to the monitors. At least until she has to see Undyne skewer a child.

Damn. Why can't she just distract herself from that for one minute?

* * *

_Undyne is positively boiling alive. Screw this armor (well, not really, 'cause it does make her look frickin'_ badass _) and screw Hotland._

_It takes a second to realize that something cool is trickling down her neck. Right! Water cooler! Sans must have gotten off his lazy butt and helped her-_

_Not Sans. The human, standing there with an empty cup, totally deadpan. For a second the rage is back, full force, because_ they think they can just stand there like she's some harmless pushover????? _Who do they think she is? Who do they think_ they _are????? But it's gone almost as soon as it came, because the water has evaporated and the dry heat is creeping back in. Ugh._

_She looks around to make sure no one saw that and makes a quick, uh... tactical retreat._

* * *

The elevator doors open, and Alphys switches the lights back on. Time to check in on the human and Undyne, then hopefully take a shower before-

She heads for the monitors and jumps, because shit, _someone’s standing right there_ -

Not just someone. She recognizes that short, chubby form immediately. All she can do is turn away from them for a second to process this because

“Oh. My god.”

They're here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back
> 
> turns out that online school is very time consuming, so i'm gonna make my update goal for this something like once a week.
> 
> it's funny to compare this update schedule to Royal Scientist, i updated that like every two days lmao. ah, the excitement of the first fic.


	10. Quiz Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drama, romance, bloodshed.

The human is just _staring at her_ , ohmygod, _the human!_

Alphys spins around in place. She was _not ready for this_. At all.

“I didn’t expect you to show up so soon!” Oh, wow, tell them you knew they were coming. Way to come off as a creep immediately.

She keeps hopping from foot to foot, nervous energy flooding her system faster than she can burn it off.

“I haven’t showered, I’m barely dressed, it’s all messy, and…” Ugh, even better, now they probably think she’s a _gross_ creep. 

She needs to get herself together before she spirals out of control. But. This is a human. How is she supposed to control herself???

_You’re Royal Scientist Alphys, for Asgore’s sake._

“Ummm…”

They are not reacting. She thought a kid would be more expressive. Or expressive at all. But they’re totally deadpan.

She can analyze them later. For now, she has a show to put on.

“H-h-hiya!” 

Here she goes. And here’s to hoping Mettaton did his job and stayed close enough to see them coming. If Alphys really has to do this now, everything needs to be timed perfectly, so he better be behind that wall, ready to… do his thing.

They open their mouth to respond, but now that the dam has been broken, the avalanche of recited words will not be stopped.

“I’m Dr. Alphys. I’m Asgore’s Royal Scientist!” At the mention of Asgore, they close their mouth and step back, obviously bracing themself. Damnit. Her goal was to avoid scaring them!

“B-b-but, ahhhh, I’m not one of the ‘bad guys’!” Saying it in a way the kid will understand is crucial- and it seems to work, because they relax a little bit.

She thinks (and hopes) that she hears something moving behind the wall. He must have seen them. Hopefully.

What else can she do to gain their trust?

“Actually, since you stepped out of the Ruins, I’ve, um…” 

Time to explain the monitors and the ‘expecting them to show up’ comments now before continuing to creep them out. 

“...been ‘observing’ your journey through my console.”

Still deadpan.

“Your fights… your friendships… everything!” Oh no, that came out _so freaking stalkerish_. 

Alphys should explain it. Please let this sound less creepy.

“I was originally going to stop you, but… watching someone on a screen really makes you root for them.” _I’m on your side! I want to help!_

“S-so, ahhh, now I want to help you!” Please let them accept this.

“Using my knowledge, I can easily guide you through Hotland! I know a way right to Asgore’s castle, no problem!” Oh, wait. There should be a problem. She’s supposed to be hamming that problem up right now.

Ahhhh, there’s a human here and she’s flustered and… ahhhhhh!

“.....Well, actually, umm, there’s just a tiny issue.”

Alphys has to take a second to get into the groove of her script.

“A long time ago, I made a robot named Mettaton. Originally, I built him to be an entertainment robot.”

Oh. That sounds wrong. Well, at least the kid probably isn’t old enough to know that ‘entertainment robot’ has weird implications.

Best to clarify anyway. Just in case.

“Uh, you know, like a robotic TV star or something.” There. Good. Now no one can make any weird interpretations. Back on script.

“Anyway, recently I decided to make him more useful. Just some small practical adjustments.”

Okay! She’s doing it! Whoa! Is this what real acting feels like?

“Like, um…” Why is she so good at being stuttery and sheepish when she shouldn’t be, and so bad at summoning that sheepishness when she needs to? “Anti… anti-human combat features?”

Ah, her old enemy- accidentally making her sentences sound like questions. Useful, for once.

The human sighs. Alphys almost laughs, because yeah, they must be tired of all the ‘anti-human’ by now.

She realizes that they haven’t spoken yet. Wow, either she’s been monologuing seriously hard, or they’re just as shy as she is. Maybe both.

“Of c-course, when I saw you coming, I immediately decided… I have to remove those features!” She can feel sweat beading on her scalp as she tries to get to the point.

Luckily, embarrassment is exactly the vibe Alphys is going for right now. 

“Unfortunately, I may have made a teensy mistake while doing so.” She almost laughs at her own script- oh, yeah a powerful and murderous robot, _just a teensy mistake._

“And, um…” _Okay, no more jokes. Big finish, Alphys._

“Now he’s an unstoppable killing machine with a thirst for human blood?” Okay. Well. That doesn’t feel quite as climactic as she would’ve hoped, but she didn’t exactly botch it, either.

“Ehehehehehe....”

They look nervous again, and as much as Alphys hates to scare a kid, this is all necessary if she’s gonna keep up this little charade.

“Heh.” Okay, move on, gotta get to the point.

“But, um, hopefully” she raises her voice “we won’t run into him!”

Please, please let him be ready and waiting. She can’t ad-lib anymore. Her creative juices and meagre acting skills are just about used up.

There’s a long, silent moment. She’s holding her breath. The human opens their mouth, like they’re about to say something, and-

 _Bang._ The sound of metal on metal fills the hall.

Oh, thank god.

_Bang._

“Did you hear something?” As the relief fades, Alphys realizes she’s smiling (oops), and tries to play it as a nervous grimace.

_Bang._

_Bang_

_Bang._

_Bang._ Okay, just break through already.

_**Bang.** _

With the power of her growing impatience, Alphys forces fear onto her face. “Oh no.” 

A _crash_ resounds, and Alphys barely remembers to kill the lights in time.

* * *

“OHHHH YES!” 

She wishes she could see the human’s face right now. It must be absolutely priceless. This is going _wonderfully_.

“WELCOME, BEAUTIES…” A drumroll plays, seemingly from all around them- Alphys would usually find the canned sound effects tacky, but right now, all she can think about is how convincing this must be.

A spotlight clicks onto MTT in all his square glory. It was a pain in the ass- no, there’s a child present, the _butt_ \- to install. Putting an entire quiz show set in her ceiling was honestly one of the hardest parts of this whole endeavor.

Hopefully it’ll all pay off in the end.

“...TO TODAY’S QUIZ SHOW!”

The lights come on, full force.

So do the confetti machines. And the disco balls. And the canned applause.

Okay, so they might have gone a little too far with the set.

“OH BOY, I CAN ALREADY TELL IT’S GONNA BE A GREAT SHOW!” Mettaton is in his element, full TV show host, and although his personality is always somewhat like this, it’s really weird to see him step into the role.

Even if this is essentially just a louder version of his normal self.

Alphys sneaks a glance at the human, just as they glance at her. They look scared, sure, but there’s also a healthy dose of pure confusion. 

Perfect.

“EVERYONE GIVE A BIG HAND FOR OUR WONDERFUL CONTESTANT!” More canned applause. Some of his shows are filmed in front of a real studio audience, but she wasn’t about to try hiding one in her lab just for this.

“NEVER PLAYED BEFORE, GORGEOUS?”

The human quails a little bit under his focus, and they don’t manage an answer before Mettaton continues.

“NO PROBLEM! IT’S SIMPLE!” Very simple. They didn’t really bother coming up with any rules beyond...

“ANSWER CORRECTLY…”

Very dramatic pause. Alphys almost considers taking notes.

“OR YOU DIE!”

The human’s soul materializes in front of their body, and the quiz show? battle? Whatever it is, it starts.

Alphys recognizes that glittering red. Determination, in a living human soul. Mettaton’s talking next to her, but it doesn’t matter, because there’s a real determined soul right there, the very thing she’d hoped to create.

It’s so beautiful- how could she have deluded herself into thinking this could be artificially manufactured?

And then suddenly a multiple choice question appears in front of them- oh shit, it’s starting. She’s getting distracted. It's great that it’s Mettaton’s job to make the questions appear (ghost magic is good for that sort of thing) because her head is evidently not in the game.

_**”What’s the prize for answering correctly?”**_

The answers materialize in front of them, and Alphys only has to glance at them to remind herself of the correct letter before holding what she hopes looks like a D.

They don’t even notice her. They look over the answers for a moment, glance at the ticking timer-

“Uh, is it B?” Their voice. It’s… it’s definitely the voice of a child. Alphys didn’t know why she expected anything different, honestly, considering all the human TV she’s seen. Still. She expected their voice to be more impactful. 

“HAHA, YOU WISH! WRONG!” Mettaton’s screen flashes red, and a bolt of electricity slams into the human’s soul. They stumble back, fall onto their knees- Alphys checks them, and watches their HP drop _halfway_. Mettaton’s supposed to pretend to want to kill them, not _actually kill them_. 

She shoots a glare in his direction, which he does not seem to notice or acknowledge. _Shit._

They manage to pull themselves back up. They don’t use their turn to heal- are they out of items? Fear laces through her, because at this rate, another hit will kill them-

“HERE’S YOUR TERRIFIC PRIZE!”

_**”What’s the king’s full name?”**_

She tries to make the C a little more obvious this time.

They don’t even notice her. Luckily, though, their eyes light up.

“Asgore Dreemurr!”

No bolt of electricity.

“CORRECT! WHAT A TERRIFIC ANSWER!”

Alphys’ relief is short-lived, because they only have one more easy question to notice her suggested answers before the quiz gets intentionally impossible.

“ENOUGH ABOUT YOU. LET’S TALK ABOUT ME!” This was one of the questions he came up with. Of course.

_**”What are robots made of?”**_

Alphys really waves the B around this time. The answer to this one is (hopefully) obvious, but the point is to get them to notice her hints before the answers start getting bullshitty.

They open their mouth to speak, then _glance in her direction_ , yeeeessss, and their eyes widen almost comically.

If this wasn’t an act, if Mettaton was actually trying to kill them, he most definitely would have noticed her hints at this point. Luckily, it is an act, and Mettaton doesn’t so much as pivot in her direction.

“I think it’s B, metal and magic!” They sound triumphant- it’s weird to be reminded that this really is just a little kid, excited to know the right answer to a quiz.

Part of her takes a second to feel awful for manipulating a kid like this, but it’s dismissed as soon as she notices it.

“TOO EASY FOR YOU, HUH????????” He turns slightly in her direction this time, as if to say _tone it down, you’re not being convincing_ , and her smile is a little bit sheepish as she gives the child a congratulatory thumbs up.

“HERE’S ANOTHER EASY ONE FOR YOU!”

Ah, yes. The train question. Alphys sees their eyes widening, and yeah, she would be seriously impressed if a kid their age could so much as read the whole thing.

They glance almost desperately at her hands, so she checks the answers and holds out a D for their hint.

“Uh, D?”

“WONDERFUL! I’M ASTOUNDED, FOLKS!”

They look relieved (well, actually, they still look pretty expressionless, but the way their shoulders relax at her thumbs-up screams relief).

“DON’T ‘COUNT’ ON YOUR VICTORY…”

The pun is a new addition. Soooo funny.

_**”How many flies are in this jar?”**_

The image of a jar appears under the question, ‘flies’ crowding and overlapping. It’s probably physically impossible to count them in the allotted time, and the human doesn’t even bother, looking right at her. She arranges her fingers into an A, which is actually a pretty hard letter to make with hands, and they turn back to Mettaton.

“It’s A!” 

“CORRECT! YOU’RE _SO LUCKY TODAY!_ ”

Now he’s the one cutting it close to making this obvious. Sheesh, they’re lucky that the only person they have to fool is a child.

“LET’S PLAY A MEMORY GAME!”

_**"What monster is this?"**_

Part of a Froggit’s face flashes into being under the question. Ah, yes. The trickiest of the trick questions.

They open their mouth, probably to say the obvious answer, and Alphys waves around the correct answer as adamantly as she can.

They glance at her, then back at the Froggit. Confusion. _Please, kid, trust me._

“Uh… is it… a Froggit?”

Shit. The picture zooms out to reveal Mettaton in a Froggit t-shirt, and Mettaton's screen goes red again.

The electricity surges into their soul, and although they don’t fall this time, their face scrunches up in pain.

Their HP takes a nosedive again, finally stopping at- oh. He’s taking half each time. She understands now.

Doesn’t stop it from being scary.

There are just... so many layers to the next question. The fact that he didn’t tell her about it. The fact that he’s asking if they _would smooch a ghost_. The fact that the timer is counting up. The fact that all the answers are _Heck yeah_.

Alphys is irritated, honestly. Is he not taking this seriously? Does he really think it’s okay to risk someone finding out that she _lied_ about him being an artificial soul?

At least the human looks a little bit amused as they give him a _heck yeah_.

“GREAT ANSWER! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!” This is her partner for this whole undertaking. This is the monster who’s going to help her pull off the operation of her life.

Alphys takes a moment to question every decision that has led to this.

_**”How many letters in the name Mettaton?”**_ She watches them seriously start counting for a second, just as the name begins to grow longer and longer, until the ns on the side trail down below the answer box. 

Yeah, of course they need her help. What would they do without her? 

“TIME TO BREAK OUT THE BIG GUNS!” 

_**”In the dating simulation game “Mew Mew Kissy Cutie” what is Mew Mew’s favorite food?”**_

It’s go time.

“OH! OH! I KNOW THIS ONE! IT’S SNAIL ICE CREAM!!!!! IN THE FOURTH CHAPTER EVERYONE GOES TO THE BEACH!!!” It’s not hard to gush about Mew Mew. This was a genuinely profound chapter of Mew Mew, too.

“AND SHE BUYS ICE CREAM FOR ALL OF HER FRIENDS!!!!!! BUT IT’S SNAIL FLAVOR AND SHE’S THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS IT!!” That symbolism is perfect. Honestly, the game has so many of these great moments.

“IT’S ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS OF THE GAME BECAUSE IT’S ACTUALLY A VERY POWERFUL” okay, time to calm down a little bit, she’s supposed to be acting, not seriously geeking out “message about friendship and…” It is. Alphys teared up when she played through it the first time.

She pauses in her hand waving tyrade and glances at Mettaton. There’s sweat beading on her forehead, and she hopes he can’t tell that that was a genuine outburst, because he’ll never let it go if he notices.

“ALPHYS, ALPHYS, ALPHYS. YOU AREN’T HELPING OUR CONTESTANT, ARE YOU?” Okay, time to wrap this up. He’ll get annoyed and leave, and she can upgrade their phone and send them out into Hotland.

She shakes her head adamantly at his question.

“OOOOOOH!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME.” There it is. Now he can say his tagline and leave...

“I’LL ASK A QUESTION…” Wait, what? “YOU’LL BE SURE TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO!” 

Wait, _what?_

_**”Who does Dr. Alphys have a crush on?”**_

_Wait, what?_

The answers appear in front of them- “Undyne”, “Asgore”, _”the human”_ , and “I don’t know”. 

Please, please choose “I don’t know”. Please.

They glance at her, and she takes that opportunity to hold up her hands, trying to communicate that _they don’t need to choose something embarrassing please_.

They glance back down at the answers. 

“Um… Undyne, I guess?” Nooooo.

Noooooooooooo.

She buries her face in her hands, because she can feel it heating already.

“SEE, ALPHYS? I TOLD YOU IT WAS OBVIOUS.” God, Alphys hates him right now. Why is this even necessary? “EVEN THE HUMAN FIGURED IT OUT.” 

She can’t blame them. They’re a kid. As much as she wants to ask them why they would say that, she realizes that they are just a confused kid who made an educated guess.

“YES, SHE SCRAWLS HER NAME IN THE MARGINS OF HER NOTES. SHE NAMES PROGRAMMING VARIABLES AFTER HER.” _How did he notice that???_ He never pays attention to her work! He calls it her ‘science nonsense’!

Alphys sneaks a glance at the human between her fingers. They’re just looking at her with unmasked interest. She just wants to crawl down into the Lower Lab and hide from the embarrassment.

“SHE EVEN WRITES STORIES OF THEM TOGETHER... SHARING A DOMESTIC LIFE.” NO. No. No one was supposed to know about that fanfiction. HOW DID HE FIND THAT?

“PROBABILITY OF CRUSH: 101 PERCENT. MARGIN OF ERROR: ONE PERCENT.” This is her life. Her calculator robot ‘friend’ is outing her crush on a TV broadcast.

It's lucky that Undyne doesn’t watch Mettaton’s show.

She takes her head out of her hands and very pointedly does not look at him. He’s still talking, something about how her help has taken all the drama out of the show, but she doesn’t feel like listening to that.

“UNTIL NEXT TIME, DARLINGS…!!!” Alphys winces at the crash as he flies through her ceiling. How is she supposed to fix that?

Honestly, she thought adding jets would make him a cool Transformer-y robot. All she’s getting out of it is property damage.

She’s going to have to give him a very ~~pissed~~ stern call once the human’s on their way.

A voice interrupts her internal monologue.

“Hi.”

The child is standing right in front of her. Alphys should be geeking out right now, but she's mostly mortified.

“Th-that last question…” Forget about it. Please. “He wasn’t s-supposed to ask that one…” A blush colors her face. The human nods solemnly. 

“Okay.” Phew.

“Th-there’s food in the fridge… if you n-need it, that is.” They only have 5 out of their max of 20 HP, and the monsters of Hotland won’t pull their punches the way Mettaton is.

They wander off for the fridge. They’re not very talkative, are they?

She remembers her next job just in time.

“Wait, wait!” Alphys scuttles up to them, all professional urgency. At least. That’s what she hopes it looks like. “Let me give you my ph-phone number!” 

They just look at her. They might need more of a reason to be convinced to hand their phone a monster they’ve just met, considering most monsters they’ve met have tried to kill or capture them.

“Th-then… m-maybe… If you need help, I could…” Silently, they hold out their phone.

She takes it- and oh, wow, it’s even older than she thought. Where did they find this thing?

“Wh… where’d you get that phone? It’s ANCIENT!” Honestly, it might have been made before Alphys was born. “It doesn’t even have texting.” 

All the more reason to add some… minor updates.

“W-wait a second, please!” She pretty much sprints up to her workbench. Most of the upgrades are magical (duh, how else would a bomb defuser and a _jetpack_ fit into a phone?), so it takes just a few seconds. She throws some things around, of course, to make it seem like she’s doing some real work, and runs back down.

Their eyes widen just slightly. _Yeah, kid. I’m the Royal Scientist. I can upgrade phones like it’s nothing._

“It can do texting, items, it’s got a keychain…” It’s actually a very nice phone now, honestly. “I even signed you up for the Underground’s number one social network!”

Okay, so maybe Alphys kinda wanted another Undernet friend.

“Now we’re officially friends!” Hopefully that didn’t come out too presumptuous. “...ehehehe.”  
They just stare at her with those big, little kid eyes.

“Hehehe…”

Now that she knows for sure that they can talk, it’s weird to just be stared at.

“Heh…”

Awkward. Alphys looks back and forth and…. the elevator! Perfect.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” She flees.

* * *

Alphys has no idea how long she stands there in the elevator, tapping her toes, waiting for the human to walk past the ‘bathroom’ and leave. The adrenaline has long since died, leaving behind the drain of loud, televised, extended social interaction.

Finally, finally, finally, footsteps click away again, and the _vwoosh_ of the foyer doors opening and closing reaches her. 

She steps into the lab. The human was here. She talked to them. She helped them.

_She lied to them._

The show is over. She did it.

Alphys sits down at her computer, lets out a long, long, breath, and logs into Undernet to ~~resist the urge to send a strongly worded message to Mettaton~~ let herself have a break from thinking about the long road ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah this took longer than I thought, sorry. Have an extra long chapter as my apology gift lol
> 
> One of the hardest things for me is taking dialogue from the game and integrating it with Alphys' internal monologue, so this was genuinely hard to write.


	11. Status Updates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alphys is behind the scenes, back in her element. 
> 
> For the most part. Making phone calls still sucks.

Alphys checks the cameras as soon as it's safe to emerge- the human is heading back towards Waterfall, so she can only assume they're restocking with Gerson or something.

At least it gives her some time to think about her next steps, to order the puzzles in her head and remember her explanations for each. It also gives her time to be ready when the doors open again about half an hour later, so she can practically sprint back into the elevator and wait for them to pass again.

The next set of doors opening and closing signals that she's safe to head for her desk.

Literally as soon as Alphys opens Undernet, she has a Realization.

The human is here. The human got to Hotland. They didn’t have any healing items, because in order to get to Hotland, they had to go through _Undyne_. She missed the fight. And it obviously turned out okay for the kid, but damn, how could she have forgotten about Undyne’s Big Hero Moment?

Well. Nothing she can’t fix with a status update.

_ALPHYS: just realized i didn’t watch undyne fight the human v.v_

She really is _glad_ that the human survived… but also, like, how? They didn’t seem exceptionally strong facing Mettaton, and Mettaton wasn’t even actually trying to kill them. Is determination really that powerful?

_ALPHYS: well i know she’s unbeatable i’ll ask her abt it later ^.^_

That’ll be an interesting call for sure.

Speaking of calls.

_ALPHYS: for now i gotta call up the human and guide them =^.^=_

The plan for the next section of Hotland is to teach the human the ropes with the lasers, help them with the first set of puzzles, and guide them to Mettaton's next set. She's made sure to activate absolutely anything and everything that could bring an opportunity to guide the human, down to the last meaningless switch.

Long story short, Alphys has a solid strategy. Now all she has to do is actually enact it and guide the human.

But they literally _just_ left her lab. Maybe she'll get some time before they reach the lasers.

_ALPHYS: gonna call them in a minute!!! =^.^=_

The rest of Hotland is going to follow a similar format; full of puzzles interspersed with Mettaton's segments. Based on the human's speed so far, it should take them about two hours to travel between each set, which should give Alphys time to finish Mettaton EX before the big fight, per their agreement.

Alphys takes a peek at the monitors… and yeah, they’re just in the vent area before the lasers. The lasers aren’t aren’t exactly intuitive if you haven’t seen them before, so she really should call them.

She pulls out her phone- and she does intend to call, she really does, but she can’t seem to bring herself to type the phone number.

_ALPHYS: I HATE USING THE PHONE I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS LMAO ^.^_

What if they don’t want to be micromanaged? What if they find her help annoying or overbearing? She doesn’t want to ruin their impression of her by immediately mother-henning them, after all-

She forces herself to look away from the phone and watch them for a while longer. They’re taking to the vents pretty easily, and watching them fly back and forth and pocket a frying pan does help distract from the monumental task of typing their number.

Mostly, at least.

_ALPHYS: omg i’ve had my claw over the last digit for five minutes_

She watches them jump onto the second to last vent. If she’s gonna call them, it kinda has to be now.

_ALPHYS: omg i’m just gonna do it i’m just gonna call!!!!_

She types the last digit as they step onto the next vent, and presses call as soon as their feet hit solid ground.

_Ring…_

No going back now. She’s gonna coach them through these lasers, like the helpful friend she is!

_Ring…_

She can see them about to pick up, ~~probably to tell her how annoying she’s being~~ and nOPE not today Satan. She hangs up, panic fuzzing the edges of her vision as she tries to compose herself.

She has to do this. They’re walking up to the first laser, and unless she wants them to be, well, lasered, she needs to help them.

_Ring…_

This time, they pick up immediately, and thankfully stop walking towards the lasers.

“Uhh! H-hi, so, the blue lasers…”

Wait, did they even know her number? Oh, she’s being so rude, isn’t she?

“Uhh! I mean, Alphys here! Hi!” Ugh, awkward. 

She steels herself. Now she just has to explain some science-y stuff, which is like her _specialty_. She can do this.

“The blue lasers won’t hurt you if you don’t move!” Oh, but the first one is an orange laser. She should have led with that. Oops. 

“O-orange ones, um… y-you have to be moving, and they…”

She can’t tell if they understand, because they aren’t really reacting, and _what if she’s doing a shitty job explaining and they get hurt and it’s her fault?_

“Um, they won’t, um…”

Come on, Alphys. _Make sure they understand._

“Move through those ones!”

They don’t respond, and it’s weirding her out.

“Uhh, bye!” She hangs up like her life depends on it. Her palms are so sweaty right now. Actually, her whole body is sweaty and shaky right now. She just called the human, and it was horrible and awkward, sure, but it was _a call with a human_.

_ALPHYS: OMG I DID IT!!! claws haven’t shook like that since undyne called to ask about the weather… v.v_

That was one of her first calls with Undyne, before she'd gotten over the thrill of getting the captain's number. There obviously hadn’t been much to talk about, because weather doesn’t exist Underground, duh-

_ALPHYS: WAIT THERE’S NO WEATHER DOWN HERE WHY DID SHE CALL ME_

Was Undyne looking for an excuse to talk to her??? Didn’t Undyne know she could just call to talk any time? She doesn’t need an excuse! Alphys is _always_ happy to talk to her! Well, maybe they weren't that close at the time. But. _Holy heck_ , this scenario is _so_ gonna be part of her next fanfic-

_ANYWAYS_. A quick check shows that the human got through the lasers and is heading up-

Wait. Do they even know where to head?

_ALPHYS: Oh My God i Forgot to Tell THem Where To Go_

She’s horrible. She’s supposed to be guiding them, and she’s sitting here thinking about her crush and struggling to call them even _once_. 

She really is garbage. And of course, there is only one way to express this.

_ALPHYS: CUte PIC OF ME RIGHT NOW ^.^_

The attached picture of her garbage can pretty much sums up the quality of her guidance so far. 

Well, that’s done. Suddenly she feels just... bad. But there’s no time for that anymore, because a quick monitor check shows them reaching the first puzzles of Hotland.

At least this time she doesn’t have to put herself through typing their number out.

_Ring…_

Again, they pick up almost immediately.

“A-A-Alphys here!!!!” Better this time!

“Th… the northern door will stay locked until you… s-solve the puzzles on the right and left!”

Which one was easier again?

“I… I think you sh-should g-g-go to the right first!”

Yeah, it was the puzzle to the right. Probably.

They walk over to the puzzle, and talk to some of the stranded commuters waiting in front of the puzzle. And okay, part of her feels kinda shitty for activating all the puzzles and stranding so many people. But. Asgore gave her the all-clear. And there's a human. So the guilt fades almost as quickly as it surfaces.

What if they don’t get the puzzle, though? Was it a mistake to activate everything?

_ALPHYS: wonder if it would be unfun if i explained the puzzle..._

Yeah, it probably would be. She should give them like… twenty minutes, maybe. _Then_ she’ll explain it. She walks away from Undernet and her phone, just so she won’t be tempted to micro-manage them.

What to do... well, she could always tinker with Mettaton EX for a bit. She still needs to add some of the covering of the legs (because apparently the legs need to be _hyper-realistically perfect_ ). She’s made the executive decision that Mettaton’s current body has some perfectly good arms that she can just repurpose along with the battery.

* * *

She spends a good fifteen minutes just attaching silicone to metal. It’s mind-numbing work, but it’s also the work that will keep Mettaton from murdering her over Insufficient Leg Power.

And then she realizes that she’s spent fifteen minutes on this, and she should probably go help the human. 

Alphys doesn’t even have to pause before dialing their number this time- how long have they been standing at that blue laser? Shiiit.

_Ring…_

“Alphys! Here!” Hey, no stutter this time! She’s getting better at the greetings, at least.

“Th-that blue laser seems totally impassable!” Unless they want to throw themselves into a laser, but those things _hurt_ , so she doubts it.

“B-b-but! As the Royal Scientist, I h-have some tricks up my sleeve!” Yes indeed she does. ~~One of those tricks was activating the laser in the first place.~~

_ALPHYS: whatever!!! i’ll just explain it!!!_

She clicks their now-familiar number and waits for them to pick up. 

_Ring…_

“Uuh… I think… um…” How to explain the puzzles? “Hey! About the puzzles on the left and right! They’re a bit difficult to explain, but...” 

To her surprise, the child's voice pipes through the receiver. “Oh. I figured them out.” 

Finally, a response, but also- she leans over to check the monitors, and sure enough, they’re past the puzzle door and almost at Mettaton’s next set. 

“...uhhh, you already s-solved them?” Silence. 

“Awesome!” She hopes her tone isn’t as totally mortified as she feels. She hangs up before she can embarrass herself again. 

She watches them step cautiously onto a vent. Probably a good idea to make sure everything’s ready for their next performance. 

_@ALPHYS: rdy for the cooking show?_

_@♥MTT♥: I’ve been hiding behind this counter for an hour, darling. I’m ready._

_@ALPHYS: awesome!!! pls no more surprises tho lol ^.^_

He doesn’t respond again, but it doesn’t matter, because the human is entering the darkened set. 

Well. At least she doesn't have to physically be on camera this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow a fast-ish update??? From me??? Look at that
> 
> And watch the next one take another 2 weeks lmao


	12. Cooking with a Killer Robot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here they go again.

Alphys pulls up Mettaton’s show on her computer- if she tries to watch it from the monitors, she’ll be without sound, which probably wouldn’t work so well.

**_STAY TUNED FOR A NEW PROGRAM- MTT_ **

She already has the phone ringing, because she’s just getting _that good_ at this guiding thing, and the lights for the room are ready. Since the cooking show won’t require her physical presence, Alphys is free to do things like “hack the lights” and focus on making her voice as convincing as possible. So much easier.

The call is picked up with a click.

“H-hey, it’s kind of dark in there, isn’t it?” She taps her claws next to the light switch.

The human nods, realizes they didn’t say anything aloud (have they really forgotten that she’s watching?) and says, “Yeah, kinda.”

“Don’t worry! I’ll hack into the light system and brighten it up!” She pauses for a moment, just to sell the illusion that she’s totally hacking something. Then she flips the light switch.

The human is right behind the counter, which is pretty perfect, because if they’d walked any further, they might have stubbed their toe on Mettaton.

Alphys takes a moment to savor that mental image before putting on her Scared Voice (work-in-progress) and squeaking out an “Oh no.”

“OHHH YES!!!” That intro to every segment was decidedly _not_ her idea.

“WELCOME, BEAUTIES, TO THE UNDERGROUND’S PREMIER COOKING SHOW!!!” The logo for _Cooking with a Killer Robot_ sparkles into view. That’s not normally what the show is called- typically, it’s along the lines of _Cooking with a Beautiful Robot_ or something like that.

But this is all part of selling the act. 

“PRE-HEAT YOUR OVENS, BECAUSE WE’VE GOT A VERY SPECIAL RECIPE FOR YOU TODAY!” Very, very special.

“WE’RE GOING TO BE MAKING… A CAKE!” The original plan was to have him take out the chainsaw and start attacking them immediately, but he insisted on having some ~dramatic buildup~ first.

She also remembered partway through planning this that the human is a kid, and being chased by a robot with a chainsaw would probably be nightmarish for them.

“MY LOVELY ASSISTANT HERE WILL GATHER THE INGREDIENTS.” The human doesn’t even react to being referenced. Alphys is starting to wonder if they’ve practiced that squinty poker face.

“EVERYONE GIVE THEM A BIG HAND!!!” At least she doesn’t have to be the one to activate the confetti this time. Most of Mettaton’s usual sets have that built in for him, this one included.

“WE’LL NEED MILK, SUGAR, AND EGGS.” Mettaton waves his tube arms at the back counters. “GO FOR IT, SWEETHEART!”

Hmmm. She’ll have to tell him to tone it down with the sincerity after this. He’s supposed to be trying to kill them, not encouraging or endearing himself to them.

They glance back at Mettaton a few times as they walk to get the ingredients. Seemingly satisfied that he won’t pull more electricity or quiz questions on them, they grab first the sugar, then the milk, then the eggs- one on top of the other, wobbling aggressively as they walk.

Milk, sugar, eggs. If this were an actual cooking show, that would be one gross cake. Where’s the flour? The baking powder?

Anyway. They set down their teetering stack in the middle of the counter and turn back to Mettaton.

If Alphys is reading their expression right, they’re pretty pleased with themself. She’s pleased with them too. This must be absolutely surreal, and their ability to just kinda roll with it is almost unnatural, honestly.

“PERFECT! GREAT JOB, BEAUTIFUL!” It’s moments like these that she wishes he would just get on with it. Why compliment them before pretending to attack them?

She has to stop herself from getting unreasonably annoyed, but honestly, she almost can’t help it. It’s like helplessly watching an anime start to do weird things with its characters. She can’t intervene, but she wishes she could just tell him to _stop, do something else._

“OH MY! WAIT A MAGNIFICENT MOMENT!” Oops. She got distracted again, didn’t she?

“WE’RE MISSING THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT!” Alphys realizes just in time that it’s basically her cue to intervene, and fumbles for her phone.

“A HUMAN SOUL!” Mettaton brandishes his chainsaw. The human’s number… Undyne’s… ah, Mettaton, there it is.

Thank god he’s inching the chainsaw forward so slowly.

_Ring…_

He freezes, screen red, right in front of the (once again impressively calm) human. Well. Either impressively calm or frozen in fear. Alphys really can’t tell.

“HELLO? I’M KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING HERE.” She recalls Mettaton's notes from their practice- _Sound genuinely scared. They’re about to die, and you’re frantic._

“W-wait a second!” Good enough. 

“Couldn’t you make a…” Wait, no, not _make_ , the flavor substitute already exists, what is she saying?

Sweat drips down her forehead.

“Couldn’t you use a…” Oh god, this is going so wrong, already.

“Couldn’t you make a substitution in the recipe?!” Finally. There’s no one watching her, but she can still feel a bright blush creeping across her scales.

It’s really a relief that she’s not on live TV this time (not _visibly_ on live TV), that is- she would never live that down.

“...A SUBSTITUTION? YOU MEAN USE A DIFFERENT, NON-HUMAN INGREDIENT?”

A prompt. At least he’s helping her out. _When he’s not spilling her crushes on his show, that is._

“...WHY?”

What was the excuse again?

“Uhh, what if someone’s…”

Oh, no. What was it?

Mettaton’s silent on-screen, and she has a feeling that prompt was the only help she’s gonna get. Umm, let’s see, human soul cake, what could be a good argument against-

OH!

“Vegan?”

“...VEGAN.” He sounds unimpressed. The blush returns with a vengeance. She’s screwing it up, the human isn’t reacting at all, they must know what’s going on, _why did she think she could make this convincing?_

“Uh well I mean-” 

“THAT’S A BRILLIANT IDEA, ALPHYS!!” The phone _clicks_ as he hangs up to continue his spiel. The chainsaw disappears under the counter, and Alphys swears she sees the human’s shoulders relax a bit. Maybe they haven't seen through her quite yet. Hopefully. 

She leans back in her chair and takes a looooong breath, then another, until the heat across her face cools a bit, and the sweat stops beading.

“WELL, DARLING? WHY DON’T YOU GO GET IT?” She looks back down at the screen just in time to see the camera pan back from the “soul-flavor” substitute (it’s actually vanilla flavoring, because who knows what human souls taste like?)

The human walks towards the can, glancing back at Mettaton every few steps, almost as though they expect him to pull the chainsaw again and try to catch them off guard- they're buying it!

She can’t believe that she’s actually managing to sell this. Just a second ago, it felt hopeless, but now it seems to be _working_.

As soon as they make it to the counter, it starts vibrating. They hop back as the counter shoots upward, taking the substitute with it. They jump again as Mettaton wheels up behind them.

“BY THE WAY, OUR SHOW RUNS ON A STRICT SCHEDULE.” The human glances at Mettaton, up at the substitute, and back at Mettaton. “IF YOU CAN’T GET THE CAN IN THE NEXT ONE MINUTE…”

They wait patiently for him to finish. They must be getting used to the dramatic pauses.

“WE’LL JUST HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE ORIGINAL PLAN!”

His vocal range will never cease to surprise her- after all, what essentially amounts to text-to-speech robot-voice doesn’t seem like it should have much emotional range. But in moments like these, hearing how enthusiastic, bombastic, and even _sinister_ he can make that autotune voice, Alphys is genuinely impressed with his use of this body. It makes her wonder what he'll be able to do once he looks a little more human.

“SO… BETTER START CLIMBING, BEAUTIFUL!!!” He’s off, and now it’s Alphys’ turn. The kid’s number is already dialed.

 _Ring…_

“Oh no!!! There’s not enough time to climb up!” Ugh, she sounds like a human children’s show character.

They look up, at the counter towering above them, and Mettaton hovering some twenty feet up. They’re probably worried about time- she needs to hurry this up so they don’t start to wonder why the clock isn’t really ticking.

“F-f-fortunately, I might have a plan!” Ha, yeah, just maybe. 

Science mode- the easy part.

“When I was upgrading your phone, I added a few… features.” Do a jetpack and a gun count as features? Eh. Close enough, at least.

“You see that huge button that says… “JETPACK”?” They glance down at their phone.

“Yeah?” Awesome. She hadn’t been sure when making the upgrades whether they’ve learned to read yet- Alphys knows most humans learn to read young, but she honestly has no idea how old this one is.

They press the button.

“Watch this!” She can’t wait for their reaction.

The phone rises from their hands, parts reshuffling and expanding outward. Alphys is pretty good at simple telekinesis, manipulating objects exactly like their phone or programming those objects to move on their own. Nothing flashy, and she can’t move anything huge, but it’s good for when she wants to manipulate small parts without risking shaky hands and imprecise placements.

It's also perfect for making a phone that can turn into a jetpack.

“There!” Alphys watches them strap the jetpack to their back.

“Whoa.” They look genuinely shocked, the most expressive she's seen them so far.

“You should have just enough fuel to reach the top!” Hopefully. She’s not sure even determination can slow a fifty foot drop.

It doesn’t really matter, though. She measured and remeasured that fuel more times than she can count. They’ll have exactly enough, and no more.

“Now, get up there!!!” She hangs up, watches them grab the handles of the jetpack and pull the throttles. 

They jolt to the side for a moment, and Alphys realizes with a start that she didn’t really tell them how to operate it- but they straighten out a second later, and she breathes a sigh of relief as the timer appears on screen, ticking down from a minute.

She looks away from the screen again. She doesn’t need to watch Mettaton throwing ingredients at them. It's pretty much an intentionally fail-proof challenge.

She lets herself take a break and yawn- how long has it been since she took a nap?

She’s rubbing at her glasses, trying to get the sweat-fog off for good, when Mettaton’s jaunty theme song stops. She glances back at the computer- they’re at the top! They did it!!

“Yes!” She realizes she yelled that aloud and feels her face heat up again. Okay, maybe she's a little too proud of them.

“IT SEEMS YOU’VE BESTED ME,” Mettaton says, and the human looks a little proud of themself too. 

“BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU HAD THE HELP OF THE BRILLIANT DOCTOR ALPHYS!” Right. She’d forgotten about that. She did tell him to compliment her “as a contrast to you, as the v-villain, okay?” This is how human villains talk in anime and some of Mettaton's movies, so it's safe to assume that they'll buy it.

“OH, I LOATHE TO THINK OF WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU WITHOUT HER!" Of course, they're probably lucky that they only have to be convincing enough to fool a small child.

“WELL, TOODLES!!” He exits screen right, and the broadcast ends.

_**STAY TUNED FOR A NEW PROGRAM- MTT**_

Alphys lets herself slump in her chair, glances at the monitors. They’re taking the jetpack off. She watches them turn it in their hands for a moment before finding the button that says “PHONE” and pressing it.

As soon as it folds back up, she calls them again.

_Ring…_

They pick up immediately.

“Wow! We… we did it!!” She doesn’t even have to fake the relief in her voice. This feels like much more of a victory than the quiz show. _Maybe because Mettaton stuck to the script this time._

“We really did it!!!” Alphys lets out a breathy laugh, because as staged as this all was, it's like they really won something! “Great job out there, team!”

What now? The high of victory fades into the background, and she lets the silence linger a moment too long. It’s really hard to keep up the enthusiasm when her conversation partner is quiet.

“W-well, uh, anyway, let’s keep heading forward!!!” She hangs up before more of her babbling can ruin the moment completely. The human doesn’t need to be told twice- as soon as their phone is pocketed, they’re turning away from the set and continuing along the path.

* * *

She rolls her chair over to the monitors to really watch them. Craning her neck works when she has to pay attention to the show as well as the monitors, but she'd rather not permanently mess up her spine for no reason.

Almost as soon as they've put the set behind them, they stop again to stare at the CORE. Alphys can understand why. From their vantage point, it looks very ominous, looming over the magma, partially obscured by smoke and humming with power.

On a whim, she calls them one more time.

_Ring…_

“S-see that building in the distance?”

They nod, glancing up at the camera. She's pretty sure this is one of the badly concealed ones- Hotland’s cameras were especially difficult to hide. They must have noticed it and remembered that she’s watching.

“That’s the CORE. The source of all power for the underground.” They nod again, turning back to glance at the CORE again, and she thinks they look a little less nervous.

It must seem less intimidating now that they know it’s a power plant. But it’s cooler than _just_ a power plant, and they’ll probably find it interesting, so what’s the harm in geeking out a little?

“It converts geothermal energy into magical electricity, by…” But that would take hours to fully explain. Oops. “Uhh, anyway, that’s where we’re going to go.”

“Oh, okay.” Maybe they’re tired of nodding. 

“In the CORE is an elevator directly to Asgore’s castle.” The final "showdown" is going to happen at the end of the CORE, which is also where her cameras end. That elevator will be goodbye.

“And from there… you can go home.” They don't verbally respond, as usual, and Alphys hangs up before she can get all sappy.

All this to become their friend, and they're going to be gone in a day or two.

If only there was a way to convince them to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want to cook with the robot pls


	13. Multitasking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for a bathroom break.

Alphys watches with detached interest as the human talks to Sans. He’s doing one of his various odd jobs, the only thing she knew him for before he deciphered that code for her. 

The human seems pretty unphased by his ability to pop up almost everywhere- then again, they aren’t phased by much, are they?

Watching Sans hand them a hot dog reminds her that she hasn’t eaten in ages, and she should probably grab something before they need her guidance again. She glances one more time at the monitors, makes sure they’re still in conversation, and heads to the fridge.

Okay, so maybe she underestimated how hungry she was. The second the instant noodles start smelling like instant noodles, her mouth is watering as though she’s making a delicacy.

Logically, she knows that the noodles won’t taste like much, but right now, watered-down chicken flavoring sounds like ambrosia.

Alphys plunks the bowl down on her desk and considers getting back to work- but a glance shows the child still talking to Sans, and if they aren’t done yet, they probably won’t be for a little while longer. They might have befriended him, but Alphys just finds him weird, so she'll pass on watching him stack more hotdogs on their head. She focuses back on her well-earned noodles- besides, she has her figurines to keep her company. May as well treat herself.

It's also been a good forty minutes since her last Undernet update, and that needs to be rectified. 

_ALPHYS: dinner with the girlfriend ;)_

She’ll take any opportunity to show off her Mew Mew figurine on Undernet, even if it means posting a tacky food pic.

Some scrolling reveals that the site hasn’t been very active- Undyne hasn’t posted in a few hours (Alphys really should call her and figure out what happened with that fight), and Papyrus’ last post is just a picture of the outside of Undyne’s house, captioned “WAITING FOR MY NEW FRIEND!!!” Whatever that means.

A notification for _“One new post from CoolSkeleton95”_ flashes onto the top of her screen. Speak of the skeleton, and he shall appear.

It’s a picture of Papyrus, flexing- he’s edited biceps onto each humerus, and pairs of sunglasses on top of them.

Alphys snorts, then chokes as noodle broth shoots out of her nose. She wipes her nose on a paper towel, still holding back a laugh, and then reads the caption-

_ARE WE POSTING HOT “PICS???” HERE IS ME AND MY COOL FRIEND_

It’s a relief that she didn’t try to take another bite of noodles. The laugh she was stifling bursts out- this is honestly the funniest thing she’s seen all day.

She tries (and mostly fails) to control her chuckles as she types another status.

_ALPHYS: LOL, @CoolSkeleton95! That’s a joke, right?_

With Papyrus, it’s almost impossible to tell what’s a joke and what’s deadly serious. The next post loads in almost immediately to clarify.

_CoolSkeleton95: THE ONLY JOKE HERE IS HOW STRONG MY MUSCLES ARE._

Yeah, for sure. Alphys lets herself chuckle for another moment as she cleans up the dishes.

Once back over to the monitors, she notes that they’re not with Sans anymore. She looks through the next few cameras and is relieved to find them just starting to approach the next puzzle. Good timing. This one’s easy, but her advice can’t hurt, right?

_Ring…_

“H-hi! It’s Dr. Alphys.”

They glance right at the camera again. Must be getting used to spotting them now.

“This p-puzzle is kinda… um…. timing-based.” Yeah, that sums it up. She’s getting better and better at not rambling, and she takes a second to be proud of herself before continuing.

“Y-you see those switches over there?” She pauses while they scope out the switches, and continues when they nod.

“Y-you’ll have to press all three of them within three seconds.” It’s easier said than done, considering how fast that conveyor belt moves. She has some in her lab, and she knows the feeling of trying not to whiz right past her destination.

“I’ll try to help you with the rhythm!” Sweat beads across her forehead and she hangs up. Being on the phone so long with the other end is so silent has her claws shaking.

They stand in front of the conveyor belt for a long moment. Alphys hovers her claw over their number, and they step out onto the moving path.

One.

Two.

_Ring…_

They fumble for their phone.

Three. “Okay! Now press the third one!!!” She says, right as they glide past the third switch and step, confused, onto the path.

Oof. The intention was to _help them_ , not to distract them. 

The phone line is completely silent, and she can see them starting to head back to restart the puzzle. The last strategy she can think of to save face is to mash the button for the barrier and watch it deactivate.

“H-h-hey! Looks like you!!! Only needed to press! Two of them!!!” They look back up at the camera as she squeaks the last sentence out, all the pride from her earlier efficiency draining away to make room for embarrassment. She fumbles to hang up as the shaking worsens.

Alphys doesn’t bother watching them continue down the path. She just rolls her chair back over to her desk, hoping to quell the heat spreading across her cheeks.

_ALPHYS: that’s the last time i try to help with a puzzle lmao_

Honestly, she needs a break. Dinner was nice, and it would be great to recapture that feeling and freshen up a bit. She needs a little longer to reset and put that puzzle behind her.

She considers just walking away now and letting them wander on their own for a while, but if she’s going to try and befriend them, she should probably be communicative. A quick check at the monitors finds them about to start another puzzle, and that makes up her mind. A short “bathroom break” might be good in terms of time, and as long as she tells them first, they'll probably be understanding.

_Ring…_

Alphys is opening her mouth to greet the human when a soft “Hi, Alphys,” rings through the receiver.

She nearly jumps at the gentle little voice. The human just greeted her, said her name! 

For a second, the task at hand completely slips her mind, because this feels like progress, like hours of effort starting to pay off! The pride is back, full force-

“Uh, h-h-hey!” They’re waiting for her to continue, but she’s still sort of reeling, and seriously, what was she calling about again?

Oh, right. “I’m going to the bathroom, so I’ll be MIA for a bit.”

They nod. It feels strange to just hang up and leave them on their own, especially after such a breakthrough.

“I’m… I’m sure you can handle this puzzle yourself!” They give her a little smile, and she takes that as her cue to end the call.

She sits there for a full minute, smiling like an idiot, and then remembers why she’s pretending to need a bathroom break. Time to regroup, and hopefully make sure she won’t ruin the rest of the puzzles.

The pride fades again pretty quickly once she’s reminded that she already messed something up.

She settles down at her computer. What’s the harm in some nice, distracting browsing while they solve this one?

* * *

_“... it’s rare to find a sequel that so thoroughly outmatches its predecessor. Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 takes the rough outline established by Mew Mew 1 and adds adventure, intrigue, and heart._

_If you’re looking to start the Mew Mew franchise and struggling to sort through the extensive line of games, series, and OVAs, look no further than Mew Mew 2 for a fully realized Mew Mew experience.”_

Okay, so, the dumps are easily accessible. That, combined with the fact that anime seems to crop up in them more than other human media (definitely not a commentary on the overall quality of the genre), means that someone else was bound to discover Mew Mew as well eventually.

But evidently, whoever watched it and was inspired to write this anonymous post is an idiot, because they have everything about the series completely backwards.

Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 1 is NOT a ““rough outline””, it is a fully realized story that didn’t need to be written over and retconned into the fanservice that is Mew Mew 2. It’s been a while since she allowed herself to get mad about it- hell, probably since she ranted to Undyne all those anime nights ago.

But right now, she seriously needs to vent again. And since she probably doesn’t have time to call Undyne, the Undernet will have to do.

_ALPHYS: OMG? ppl think Mew Mew 2 is better than Mew Mew 1?_

Honestly, it still appalls her.

_ALPHYS: LOLLLLL that’s a joke right…_

She can only hope it’s satire- because the alternative is a growing Mew Mew fanbase of idiots.

_ALPHYS: omg… DONT THEY GET IT RUINS Mew Mew’s ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC?_

Alphys could write an actual novel about how well Mew Mew 1 sets up Mew Mew’s development, only for Mew Mew 2 to tear it all to the ground, but she doesn’t have the time or energy.

_ALPHYS: My Mew Mew 2 Review: Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 Is Neither Kissy Nor Cutie. Its Trash. 0 stars_

There. Finally, an accurate Mew Mew 2 review, and she didn’t need a long-form essay post to do it.

It’s not quite as satisfying as ranting with Undyne, but she can feel the edge fading from her frustration.

Except now she has Mew Mew on her mind, and her most important self-imposed rule is that any time spent thinking about Mew Mew 2 requires a cleansing viewing of Mew Mew 1.

* * *

Alphys catches herself mouthing along with the lines halfway through the episode. She pauses the show once she notices she’s at that point- she’s getting too engrossed, and she can’t afford to get engrossed in anything while she still has the human to gui-

The human. Alphys completely forgot about them.

She’s wheeling her chair to the monitors and typing at the same time as she prays to every human god she’s ever read about that they’re not dead.

_ALPHYS: oopswait how’s the humnan doing_

She scans the screens until… ah, there they are. This is why she tries to avoid Mew Mew 2 while working- she pretty much falls into her own world when she gets worked up about the franchise.

_ALPHYS: Top 10 Shows That Make You Forget To Do Your Frickin Job_

They’re so, so close to Mettaton’s next set. What if she’d been distracted for just a few more minutes?

Well, that didn’t happen. May as well not dwell on disasters that never happened, right?

They make it to the end of the illuminated pathway and step into the darkness of the next room. 

They honestly don’t make it very far- the room is pretty much an abyss, darkened as much as possible to minimize the chance they’ll notice the set (or Mettaton behind it).

Ring…

“Okay, I’m back!” They don’t bother looking around for a camera in the abyss, just staring straight ahead and waiting for her to continue. She’s already back at her desk, clicking through her databases- lasers, conveyor belts, deadly barriers- ah, lights.

Alphys not going to mess up again. The human will trust her more than any other monster, starting now. 

She thinks she understands a little bit of their determination as she cues the lights.

“A-another dark room, huh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a weird chapter to write, what with the mix of puzzles and off-topic anime discussion. Going back and reading Alphys' status updates for this made me realize how easily diverted she is from her oh-so-important job lmao


	14. Death Report

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next up, an explosive episode of MTT News.

The child nods, squinting into the darkness. “Yeah, it’s really dark.” As soon as she has verbal confirmation, she continues with her script.

“Don’t worry! My hacking skills have got things covered!” She makes a point of very loudly smashing the keys- her Undernet post creator asks her to confirm her status change to "hskjkakf;ekfjhblglgaaaeeeeeeee"- before hitting the lights. She closes Undernet and pulls up MTT News, just in time to watch it cut to a live feed of the bot himself at his news desk.

The human faces his camera- from their point of view, the set is just cardboard with a window cut out of it, and she can practically feel their confusion. She tries to channel that kind of confused exasperation into her next line.

“Are you serious?”

Mettaton’s “OHHHHHH YESSS!!!” is accompanied by the swell of his news theme from her computer, and Alphys is safe to hang up and let him take it from here.

Alphys moves to wipe her hands on her lab coat, because letting sweat build up is always a bad idea, but realizes halfway through the motion that there isn’t really any sweat on her hands. She’s not feeling as shaky as usual, either.

This is off to a very good start.

“GOOD EVENING, BEAUTIES AND GENTLE-BEAUTIES!” Mettaton shuffles the cards in his hands. Alphys is 90% sure they’re just blank props. “THIS IS METTATON, REPORTING LIVE FROM MTT NEWS!”

Alphys knows her script, she knows when to call in next. She has her speech about the bomb defusal program written down in front of her, and she doesn’t think Mettaton’s gonna pull anything else on her. She's calmer than she's been so far for one of these segments, and it feels... weird. Good weird, but still weird. Something should've gone wrong by now.

“AN INTERESTING SITUATION HAS ARISEN IN EASTERN HOTLAND! FORTUNATELY, OUR CORRESPONDENT IS OUT THERE, REPORTING LIVE!” The human doesn’t react to his gesture in their direction- probably because they can’t see it from behind the backdrop.

“BRAVE CORRESPONDENT, PLEASE FIND SOMETHING NEWSWORTHY TO REPORT!” Mettaton pauses to let them explore, and it takes them a second of glancing around to seemingly realize that oh, _they’re_ the brave correspondent.

“OUR TEN WONDERFUL VIEWERS ARE WAITING FOR YOU!!” That spurs them into action, and they step fully into the room. The camera (and ostensibly the whole set) follows them.

Alphys watches them scan the room. There’s a variety of items, from a glass of water to a dog. 

The human walks past each object, examining each with the kind of curiosity only a child can muster for things like glasses of water and lumpy basketballs. 

They stop and pick that basketball up, and Mettaton interjects.

“BASKETBALL’S A BLAST, ISN’T IT, DARLING?” They nod, turning it over in their hands and poking curiously at the holes in the sides. “TOO BAD YOU CAN’T PLAY WITH THESE BALLS.”

Alphys winces- for someone running a “family-friendly” show, he sure is liberal with the euphemisms sometimes. It’s not that she can’t appreciate some raunchy TV (her hentai shelf is enough evidence of that), it’s that there is a child present. Luckily, the child in question doesn't react to the entendre- Alphys wants to befriend them, not scar them, after all. 

“THEY’RE MTT-BRAND FASHION BASKETBALLS. FOR WEARING, NOT PLAYING.” One of his more… creative ideas, to be sure. 

“YOU CAN’T GET RICH AND FAMOUS LIKE MOI WITHOUT BEAUTIFYING A FEW ORBS.” Okay, so maybe it’s funny. Alphys can giggle a bit now that she’s sure the human doesn’t understand what he’s saying. "REPORT THIS ONE?"

They shake their head, set the basketball down, and make a beeline right for the little dog at the top of the room.

They crouch down to pat the dog on the head, and Mettaton jumps in again.

“WHAT A SENSATIONAL OPPORTUNITY FOR A STORY!” The human glances up at the set before leaning back down over the dog. “I CAN SEE THE HEADLINE NOW: A DOG EXISTS SOMEWHERE.”

They give the pup one last decisive pet before standing. They stay next to it, patiently waiting for their turn as Mettaton finishes his spiel. 

“FRANKLY, I’M BLOWN AWAY.” His hands fall to the desk. “HOW ABOUT IT, DARLING? WANT TO REPORT THIS ONE?” 

They nod, and point at the dog. The fact that they’ve talked to Alphys but remain so reticent around Mettaton makes her smile a little as she gets ready to call them.

The news theme abruptly stops.

“...WAIT A SECOND.” Mettaton’s finger hovers dramatically in the air.

“THAT’S NOT A DOG!” His hands go to the sides of his head- the child can’t see this through the backdrop, though, and they've turned back to the dog. “THAT’S…”

He pauses, and they pause too. It’s a testament to his natural theatricality that Alphys is invested despite knowing exactly what’s going to happen next.

The silence hangs for a moment. “...A BOMB!!” The dog’s tail bursts into flames. The dog doesn’t react to this development at all, but Mettaton’s hands go to his head again, and Alphys can practically hear the suspenseful sound effects he’ll add in post.

“AND YOU HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN THE REST OF THE ROOM YET!!!” The set falls away, crumbling down through Hotland and into the lava on the first floor.

The human looks around, and Alphys looks around with them at the variety of bombs littering the room. Ghost magic is a strange, woefully under documented field, but Alphys is pretty sure Mettaton is the only ghost who specializes in making things into bombs.

“THAT PRESENT’S A BOMB!” The present opens to reveal a cartoony bomb, fuse already lit.

“THAT BASKETBALL’S A BOMB!” The top of the basketball sizzles away to reveal a fuse- who would’ve guessed?

Alphys taps at the desk. This is dramatic, sure, but she’d love to get to the part where she saves the human already.

If her shows have taught her anything, it’s that the balance between buildup and payoff has to be very precise, and this is close to dragging on a little too long.

“...OUR NINE VIEWERS ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS!” That’s her cue that he’s done with the Evil Monologue and that it’s time to focus again. “GOOD LUCK, DARLING!!” He slips away off-screen, and the camera focuses back in on the human.

They’re still standing next to the explosive dog when Alphys calls. They pick up the phone and stare right up at the show’s camera. Smart kid, figuring out where she’ll be watching them from.

“D-don’t worry!” She glances down at her notes. “I installed a bomb-defusing program on your phone!”

Sure, it sounds a bit robotic, but stilted delivery is better than a stuttering, garbled mess of nonsensical instructions. 

They switch to the home page of their phone, thankfully not disconnecting the call, and look up at the camera again. She takes that as her prompt to continue.

“Use the ‘defuse’ option when the bomb is in the Defuse Zone!” They nod slowly, and she realizes that she’s run out of notes.

She tries to pump enthusiasm into her voice to cover up the fact that she’s completely winging it.

“N-now, go get ‘em!” She stays on the line- better make sure they understand what to do with the first bomb.

They hold their phone out over the dog, who’s running figure-eights around them, and wait, laser-focused on the phone. She can’t see that tiny screen from the camera, but their decisive click snuffs the flames on the dog’s tail out immediately. It stands there wagging its now-perfectly-normal tail like it wasn't just attached to a lit fuse.

“Great job!” The camera’s pretty far away from their face, but she still thinks she sees a little smile at her encouragement. “Keep heading around the room!”

They look around, and Alphys figures there’s no harm in giving a hint. “Try to go for the one in the bottom-left next!”

One minute and forty seconds left.

They lower the phone, but don't hang up. Normally, being kept on the line for any amount of time would start to bring the panic, crawling in on the edges of her brain, but this is still going scarily well for some reason. Alphys is starting to think that maybe she's gotten the hang of this whole guiding thing.

Any more success and her ego might start to inflate to dangerous levels- hopefully this human doesn’t turn her into another Mettaton.

Anyway. The human is already past the lasers and video-game-bomb, making their way right to the conveyor and script.

One minute left. And Alphys knows that the timer doesn’t really matter, that they’re not in any real danger, but this is like watching a favorite action movie. Knowing the ending doesn’t make the journey any less suspenseful- and based on the way they pull out their phone and flourish it right at the bomb, they feel like they’re in an action movie, too.

In fact, they look more excited than she’s ever seen them, that ghost of a smile that they flash from time to time growing into into ecstatic, childish joy.

The excitement is totally contagious, and Alphys can’t hold back a grin as she watches them neutralize the present bomb and move on to the basketball.

Thirty seconds left.

The glass of water whizzes past them, and they turn to give chase, but Alphys is a step ahead of them. She presses a button, and the glass stops abruptly in the middle of the room, water sloshing over the rim and evaporating as soon as it hits the Hotland sand. 

“Great job! Head for the center!” Her nails dig into the table as the clock ticks in the corner, second-hand adrenaline spiking through her. “I’m using, uh, EM fields to trap the glass of water there!”

This is one of those cases where that’s actually sort of close to the truth- the fields are there, just magic as opposed to EM.

The final bomb defuses with a click, and the timer disappears. 

* * *

Mettaton’s jaunty theme blasts from the speakers, and Alphys hangs up.

She realizes her mistake a second later, once the combined suspense and relief have fully worn off. She still has to pretend to do some hacking- oops. Well. 

She can just call them again when the time comes.

And she was doing so well, too.

“WELL DONE, DARLING!” The human gives Mettaton a little smile, obviously still happy to have won as well. “YOU’VE DEACTIVATED ALL OF THE BOMBS!”

He hovers there, one hand pointing up as he recaps for his audience. This isn’t exactly the best time for ratings, what with all the commuters stranded by puzzles and the relatively late hour, but Mettaton, ever the showman, seems determined to treat this like a live-audience, big viewership special.

“IF YOU DIDN’T DEACTIVATE THEM, THE BIG BOMB WOULD HAVE EXPLODED IN TWO MINUTES.” 

Alphys rifles through her pile of post-it notes, looking for her prompts for the next part. She knows it’s something about hacking into the bomb and disabling it, but she can’t remember exactly what-

“NOW IT WON’T EXPLODE IN TWO MINUTES!” The showtune stops once more. Mettaton’s screen flashes. He is the picture of a campy, maniacal, monologuing villain. “INSTEAD, IT’LL EXPLODE IN TWO SECONDS!” 

Alphys pulls up the human’s number and waits. 

“GOODBYE, DARLING!” Suspenseful music blares through her speakers. Two seconds pass, and then some.

Mettaton pauses. “AH.” His screen flicks back to calm, passive yellow. Alphys is ready to call. “IT SEEMS THE BOMB ISN’T GOING OFF.”

_Ring…_

The human dutifully answers, holding the phone out so the speakerphone can carry into the microphones. They’re leaning into the theatricality of all this too, it seems.

“That’s b-because!!!” She rifles through her notes some more, but they’re all jumbling together- “While you were monologuing… I…!!!”

Shit, what was it again? Hacked the bomb, right?

“I… f… fix….” The words are in her brain, but they’re getting lost somewhere on the way to her mouth. This must be the universe’s payback for getting the instructions out so easily earlier. “Um… I ch-change…”

Mettaton interjects, cutting her stuttering off before she can stall any further. “OH NO.” His Monologue Voice is back. “YOU DEACTIVATED THE BOMB WITH YOUR HACKING SKILLS.”

This is the second time he’s taken pity on her with a line, and she’s just as embarrassed now as she was in the cooking show.

“Yeah! That’s what I did!” The lovely non-sweatiness she’s been enjoying for most of this show is long gone. 

“CURSES! IT SEEMS I’VE BEEN FOILED AGAIN!” This whole thing was her idea, but it honestly feels like she’s stepping on Mettaton’s (metaphorical) toes more than anything. He’s so good at being a villain when she isn’t stuttering all over him.

She’s snapped out of her self-pity session as he continues. “CURSE YOU, HUMAN! CURSE YOU, DOCTOR ALPHYS, FOR HELPING SO MUCH!” 

That feels like a jab, and the self-pity evaporates to make room for irritation. She did help. She was doing great until those last few lines!

“BUT I DON’T CURSE MY EIGHT WONDERFUL VIEWERS FOR TUNING IN!!!” The angry villain act drops, and he leaves the room with a cheery, “UNTIL NEXT TIME, DARLING!”

The show ends, his theme playing jovially over his between-program message once more. She mutes her computer and holds the phone up to her ear.

“W-wow… we really showed him, huh?” The more Alphys thinks about it, the more indignant she becomes. She knew all her lines in the first half- hell, they beat his game with time to spare!

Now that the the show is over, she can’t see the human anymore, can’t see how they’re reacting. She glances over her shoulder at the monitors, but decides against moving back over there yet. She can infer that they're still excited about this one. They honestly looked like they were having a real blast (pun probably not intended) with those bombs.

And Alphys feels like she really deserves more credit than Mettaton is giving her.

“H-hey, I know I was kinda weird at first…” This is pretty far off script, and she honestly has no idea where she’s going to go with it. “But I really think I’m getting more…”

More what? Socially adept? Definitely not that one.

“Uh, more…” This is stupid. She shouldn’t have let that one fuckup get to her like this, and now she’s rambling. “M-more confident about guiding you!” 

They still don’t respond, and she tries to remember her notes, get this back on track at least slightly.

“S-so don’t worry about that b-big d-dumb robot…” He can’t hurt them as long as she’s here. Well, he probably won’t hurt them generally, at least not outside of this little act, but, uh, whatever, _that’s not the point._

“I-I’ll protect you from him! A-and if it really c-came down to it, we could just t-turn…” Oh. That might be a little TMI. What if hinting things now takes the surprise out of the Big Final Fight? She’s probably being paranoid, but she wants this to be as perfect and climactic as possible and shit what if she sabotages herself? “Um, nevermind.”

They’re still silent, and Alphys decides that hanging up is not only common sense but necessary damage control at this point.

Every time it feels like she’s making progress, it’s like she just has to open her big mouth and mess it up.

Alphys isn’t sure she can stay on this wild rollercoaster between pride and embarrassment much longer. If she wants to help them, _really_ protect them, she needs to convince them (and herself) that she actually has the confidence to.

And hopefully they won’t see right through it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the longest chapter so far, which is not quite an excuse for almost taking two weeks again but oh well
> 
> time management? idk her


	15. Don't Worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're more than halfway through Hotland, and Alphys hasn't even asked them to join her for an anime night. Time to fix that.

The human walks out of the set and back into Hotland. 

Alphys can immediately tell that something’s wrong. She's been watching them for what, two or three days? Time has started to blur together, but that’s not the point, the point is that she knows them pretty well now. She knows that they like to stop and examine everything, that they pause every few rooms to call someone on the phone, and that they talk to every loiterer they meet.

Now, though, they’re walking straight and silent, dragging their feet and kicking up dirt.

Alphys decides to put a stop to it when they get to the CORE vista, glance out over the lava at it, and then glue their eyes resolutely to the ground.

She pulls her phone out and dials their number on instinct.

_Ring…_

And then they pick up, and she has no idea what to say. She’s never comforted a scared kid before. Kids are not really her strongsuit.

“Um…” They keep staring at the ground. “I noticed you’ve been kinda quiet.”

No response. They scuff at the path with the toe of their shoe. 

“Are you worried about meeting Asgore?” Still no response, but they slump a bit more at the mention of Asgore.

She hasn’t even thought about how hard it must be for them, walking closer and closer to the king who’s killed six humans before them.

They’re probably wondering right now if they’re going to be the seventh.

But this would all be easier if they knew the Asgore that Alphys knows; the one who resolutely refuses to fire her, the one who bought her a mug just because it sort of looks like her, the one who uses his throne room for tea time more often than he uses it as a throne room.

“W-well, don’t worry, okay?” They’ve stopped kicking at the ground. She has their full attention now.

“Th-the king is a really nice guy,” she says, and when they don’t cheer up, she adds, “S-seriously! I’m sure you can just talk to him, and…” 

And what? Kill him, take his soul, and leave? Die on his trident? Alphys isn’t stupid. Only one of them is surviving that encounter.

She’s just as scared as they are. But she can’t tell them that. They’re a kid, a kid fighting loneliness and fear, and if she adds a _fight to the death_ to the list of things they have to look forward to…

They might just crumble under the pressure.

There’s something twisting in the pit of her stomach as she says, as cheerfully as she can muster, “W-with your human soul, you can pass through the barrier!”

They’ve straightened a bit. It’s working. 

The feeling that she’s done something wrong doesn’t go away. If anything, it seems to wrap around her soul. How is she gonna take this back?

“S-so no worrying, OK?” If only she could practice what she’s preaching. “J-just smile and forget about it.”

They flash a tentative smile. Quietly, almost inaudibly, that soft voice pipes through her phone. “Thanks.” 

They hang up first. Alphys watches them head for the elevator, steps firm and assertive, like they were never doubting themself.

No worrying.

No worrying.

_No worrying._

* * *

She tries to follow her own advice, as they step back out of the elevator and take in Floor 3 of Hotland. She can correct her mistake later- _oopsie, did I say a human soul could pass through the barrier? I meant a human soul, plus a dead monster soul okaybyeeee._

Ugh. No way that’s gonna work. Honestly, they’ll probably just figure it out on their own at some point.

She focuses back in on them, and finds them at the spider bake sale. They’re talking to Muffet.

Everyone knows Muffet. Hotland’s third floor is basically a no-go for most monsters, because if they’re not strong enough to fight off Muffet and her spiders and they wander into her domain… well, they’re not making it out with their wallet.

Alphys doesn’t usually like to call shopkeepers scammers, but Muffet is definitely a scammer. Plus, spiders give Alphys the creeps. Too many legs, too many eyes, too good at swarming up into a roiling wave of creepy-crawlies-

Yeah, no thanks.

That’s probably why, when Muffet found and cobwebbed-over Alphys’ cameras in her den, Alphys didn’t make too much of a fuss. Given a choice between losing her life savings and losing a couple cameras, well… she’s gonna choose the one that keeps her safe and relatively wealthy, in her lovely, spiderless lab.

They move on from Muffet and strike up a conversation with the utterly devastated monster in the corner of the room. A classic victim of Muffet’s charm, staring helplessly at the donut that has replaced his 9999G.

They should be safe- their striped shirt marks them as a child, and Muffet shouldn’t be too interested in a kid. She has no reason to think they have any gold on them, and she’s never been loyal enough to the Royal Guard to try and take their soul.

She’s snapped out of her thoughts when she notices that they’re standing at the next puzzle, staring out at the sea of vents.

She fumbles for her phone, almost dropping it in her urgency, and practically impales it with her claws as she speed-types their number.

_Ring…_

“Hi, Alphys here!” They giggle, and she realizes that she hasn’t greeted them like that in a while. She’s never heard them laugh before, either, and as stressful as the last few minutes have been… the realization that she’s made them laugh helps the looming worry about their march towards Asgore fade. Just a bit.

“This room is like the room we saw before.” The laughter is gone, and their nod is all business. “There are two puzzles to the north and south, and you’ll have to solve them both to proceed.”

“Okay.” They nod again. She doesn’t know what else to say, for a moment, but then she remembers that they’re getting into the final, hardest puzzles, and there's probably more that she can do to help.

“A-also… I’d like to say! I don’t really like giving away puzzle solutions.” Especially not after flubbing the one with the switches.“But if you need help, just call me, okay?”

Did she ever give them her number? She can’t remember, besides, it’s easier to just message her on-

“Actually, wait, I have an idea!” Why didn’t she think of this before?! They can always just DM her! “Let’s be friends on Undernet! Then you can just ping me when you need help!”

They stay quiet just long enough for Alphys to recall upgrading their phone, adding a keychain… and signing them up for Undernet.

“Wait, we’re already friends, aren’t we?”

They’re smiling. “Yeah, we are.”

“I signed you up, didn’t I?”

“Yep.”

“You’ve been reading my posts this whole time…” Her face is red hot. They’ve seen all of her complaints about calling them, they… oh, god, they know that her “bathroom break” was just an excuse not to help them with a puzzle.

“Well! I hope you agree with me! About Mew Mew 2!” She hangs up before it can get any worse and presses her face into her palms. Why, why, _why_ does she have to make this so awkward?

Also, how was that the best she could do to save face? They probably haven’t even watched Mew Mew! At least, she hopes they haven’t, because it’s PG-13 and has its fair share of fanservice and she still needs to protect this kid’s mind-

Damn. Is she trying to be their friend, or their mom?

Their friend, for sure. Their cool, hip (is that a thing human kids still say), chill friend, who introduces them to the world of anime.

And maybe sneakily skips through the sex scenes of the world of anime, just to be safe.

She calls them just before they make it to the first puzzle. 

“Hey!” Hopefully this won’t be too much of a distraction. “This, um, doesn’t have anything to do with guiding you… but…”

She knows it’s ridiculous to call them just because she couldn’t get Mew Mew out of her head, but it’s too late to turn back now.

“Uhh, hey, would you want to watch a human TV show together?” They blink onscreen. “Sometime???”

Still no response. This is stupid. Alphys feels like she’s in one of those movie scenes where the nerd asks out the most popular girl in school and everyone starts laughing and-

Well. At least there are no lockers in her upper lab for her to be shoved into.

“It’s called, um, M-Mew Mew Kissy Cutie.”

She doesn’t expect much of a response, which makes it that much more of a surprise when they pipe, “Sure!”

“R-really!?” Holyshit okay nevermind this is going great! She’s going to watch anime _with a human!!!_

“It’s so good! It’s, um, my favorite show!” They could probably already tell, but whatever! “It’s all about this human girl named Mew Mew who has cat ears!”

They don’t interrupt, which is good, because it would be futile at this point. She’s started talking about Mew Mew, and there is no closing those floodgates.

“Which humans don’t have! S-so she’s all sensitive about them! But like… Eventually!” Their natural quiet makes them a great rant buddy, only second to Undyne’s endless enthusiasm.

“She realizes that her ears don’t matter! That her friends like her despite the ears! It’s really moving!” Actually, that’s later on in the series, shit. “Whoops, spoilers!”

“Also this sounds really weird but she has the power! To control the minds of anyone she kisses!” God, it’s been a long time since she got to introduce someone new to this. “She kisses people and controls them to fix her problems! They don’t remember anything after the kiss I mean!!” And ooh, this is the good part, this is sure to get them hooked-

“BUT IF SHE MISSES THE KISS!! THEN!!” Oh but that’s actually some really meta stuff, honestly and she shouldn’t get carried away- 

“Then, uh, and uh, also I mean,” Her brain malfunctions for a second, there’s just so much she wants to tell them at once, “Of course, eventually she realizes that controlling people, uh, OKAY well I almost spoiled the whole show, but-”

She tells her fangirling head to shut up and looks back at the human. She’s pleasantly surprised to see that there's no annoyance in their expression- they look just as neutrally impassive as usual, and maybe even a bit amused or excited (or something, she’s still learning to read them).

“Uhhh, I think you’d really like it!!! We should watch it!” Not right now, though. Because. Uh. They’re fighting their way through Hotland’s death traps at the moment. “After you get through all this!”

If they do. Now that the idea of their death has been implanted, it won’t go away. _Stop assuming they’re going to survive._

She hangs up and doesn’t bother watching the rest of the puzzle.

* * *

As soon as they’re out of the puzzle, Alphys loses sight of them. The next three cameras are covered in webs, and there’s really no point in bothering, so she just goes back to her desk and sends Mettaton a heads up that they’re getting close to the musical set.

And waits.

And waits.

Five minutes pass, then ten. What should have been a brief walk for them is obviously taking a lot longer.

Mettaton replies to helpfully remind her that they haven’t arrived yet.

_@ALPHYS: yea idk where they r_

Her claws tap against the desk.

_@♥MTT♥: Muffet’s probably just invited them for tea_

_@ALPHYS: uhh ok that’s not too reassuring lmao >.<_

Nothing. She keeps tapping at the desk for a moment longer before making up her mind and typing another message.

_@ALPHYS: hey uh i know this is out of nowhere but_

What is she doing?

_@ALPHYS: do u think asgore’s gonna get their soul?_

He types for a long time. Alphys starts to write out a quick _uh nvm just ignore that haha_ , but changes her mind right before he manages to respond.

_@♥MTT♥: They’re a kid, and Asgore's been fighting since the war. I think the answer is obvious, darling._

Her next message is only half written when he adds:

_@♥MTT♥: Honestly, it would be better if someone else got their soul. Before Asgore can, I mean._

What the hell is he talking about?

_@ALPHYS: uh wut?_

_@♥MTT♥: So he can’t ~destroy humanity~ and all that. Have you really not thought about this at all??_

She hasn’t thought much about it. Honestly, putting too much thought into Asgore destroying the barrier and massacring the humans makes her shaky. Especially since that hypothetical situation now entails the death of her new human friend.

The idea of _anyone_ taking their soul makes her a little queasy, honestly.

The feeling only has a moment to set in, however, because movement over on the monitors takes her out of that train of thought.

_@ALPHYS: gtg theyre past muffet- get rdy_

Alphys internally thanks the human for having such helpful timing.

She starts to pull up the show, and pull out her phone, but then remembers that she doesn’t really have to participate in this one for a while. Mettaton has this handled. He even had the colored-tile puzzle built to her specifications, down to correctly scented soaps. Her only purpose is gonna be “getting rid” of the fire and teaching them how to shoot with their phone.

Which means that Alphys is free to sit here, watch the human perform, and think about how their near-inevitable death is going to play out. Yay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh hopefully i don't jinx this by saying it, but i think the next few chapters might actually get weekly updates?? 
> 
> imagine me posting on a regular schedule haha


	16. One True Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alphys is really getting into the groove. On... the second to last performance.
> 
> Better late than never, right?

Alphys did not expect the dress, and the surprise gets a genuine laugh. Even amid the tired shitshow that is her mindscape right now, seeing a toaster-bot in a poofy ball gown is surreal enough to get a chuckle.

The human is having a lot of fun onstage, dancing around and sashaying and curtsying, and even when Mettaton's lyrics start to get murdery, they mock-swoon and exaggerate their horrified gasps.

She finds herself smiling- it’s hard to keep the smugness at bay when she sees how much fun they're having. This trip through Hotland has been so much better for them than it would have if she hadn’t basically set up minigames like this.

This is one of those moments where it feels like she’s done a pretty good job, and although those moments are usually followed by some embarrassing mistake, she’s happy to enjoy the pride while it lasts.

Alphys is going to make sure the remainder of their trip through Hotland is a safe, relaxed one, recent revelations about Asgore be damned.

That clears away the rest of the tiredness, and it's all business mode now. She gets her phone out first, then makes sure her notes for the yellow soul mode explanation are on hand. After last time, she’s organized them by the order she’ll have to use them. On top are the one-liners for her hacking. She’s still choosing between saying “hacking into the _fire-wall_ ” and “my hacking skills are on _fire_ today!” Honestly, she’s leaning towards “fire-wall”. It just has a nice ring to it.

Below those are the bullet points explaining their new soul mode. Essentially, it boils down to pressing one button on their phone. Easy enough to explain.

Then there’s the “we did it!” speech. She’s gone off script with these pretty much every time so far, so she’s not bothering to make solid plans. She’ll just say something congratulatory about how they’ve beaten Mettaton, and that she’s enjoying guiding them. Or something.

Okay, so maybe she just didn’t have time for extensive planning, but whatever, this segment is low maintenance, and looking over the post-its is making her drowsy again.

The human falls head over ass into the dungeon, and that’s her cue to get ready. She shakes off the drowsiness with a yawn and turns up the volume on her computer.

“OH NO! WHATEVER SHALL I DO?” The human gets up, dusts themself off. Mettaton doesn’t wait up for them, already working the camera. “MY LOVE HAS BEEN CAST AWAY INTO THE DUNGEON!”

“A DUNGEON WITH A PUZZLE SO DASTARDLY, MY PARAMOUR WILL SURELY PERISH!” Alphys watches the moment they turn, spot the puzzle, and deflate a bit. She can practically see them trying to remember the rules. “OH, HEAVENS HAVE MERCY! THE HORRIBLE COLORED TILE MAZE!”

“EACH TILE HAS ITS OWN SADISTIC FUNCTION.” God, Alphys is glad she doesn’t have to explain these rules. “FOR EXAMPLE, A GREEN TILE SOUNDS A NOISE, AND THEN YOU MUST FIGHT A MONSTER.” 

Coming up with the rules for the original puzzle was… hard, to say the least. Some were Papyrus’ input- namely the scented tiles and piranhas. The concept of green tiles causing a monster fight was all Undyne. Alphys really shouldn’t have taken input from those two, and the result is a list of rules she can’t remember for the life of her.

“RED TILES WILL… ACTUALLY, WAIT A SECOND.” Luckily for him, Mettaton doesn’t have to remember all of them for this either. “DIDN’T WE SEE THIS PUZZLE ABOUT A HUNDRED ROOMS AGO?”

“THAT’S RIGHT. YOU REMEMBER ALL THE RULES, DON’T YOU?” The puzzle is _technically_ beatable. For someone with insane memorization skills, maybe. But for a human kid? It’s best to just make this as fast as possible and get to the saving them part, even if it means throwing them into a puzzle they can’t feasibly get through.

It’s all about the stakes, and to them, this puzzle must feel very, very high stakes- even more so with the element of confusion.

“GREAT! THEN I WON’T WASTE YOUR TIME REPEATING THEM!” Plus, the puzzle isn’t going to be the only source of drama today. “OH, AND YOU’D BETTER HURRY.”

His arms spool out from his sockets to gesture with a flourish at the puzzle. “BECAUSE IF YOU DON’T GET THROUGH IN THE NEXT THIRTY SECONDS…”

The arms raise into the air, and Alphys gets the sense that he would be Maniacally Laughing if he wasn’t currently giving the human an exposition dump.

“YOU’LL BE INCINERATED BY THESE JETS OF FIRE!” Flames roar to life on either side of the puzzle. “AHAHAHAHAHA!” 

The human doesn’t seem sure whether to focus on Mettaton’s villain shtick, the threatening fire to one side, or the long puzzle to the other. They finally settle on staring helplessly at the camera. To their credit, they seem more confused than frightened. “HAHA… HA…”

Mettaton trails off. “HA… MY POOR LOVE! I’M SO FILLED WITH GRIEF, I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING!”

The timer graphic appears in the corner of the screen, and the camera pans to the puzzle.

“GOOD LUCK, DARLING!” And they’re off, Mettaton’s lyrics (mainly about how dead they’re going to be in a few seconds) accompanying them across the tiles.

They step on an electricity tile and hop back at the shock, then slip across an orange tile and jump back to narrowly avoid the piranhas on an adjacent blue one. They hop over two green tiles, backtrack to avoid a stretch of yellows…

And the whole puzzle greys out as the timer hits zero.

“OOOH, I’M SO SORRY! LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE OUT OF TIME!” The flames glide in on either side of them. They glance back and forth, more nervous than she’s seen them since the first show. Alphys can get why- encroaching flames do have more of an urgency factor than easily defusable bombs or baking-ingredient projectiles.

“THEY’RE CLOSING IN!” Their expression is an open book, for once. And they look scared. It’s fascinating, honestly, that this is what it takes to scare them.

The scientist in Alphys really wants to gather a few humans with different soul traits and see if levels of determination correlate with fear margins-

But those are thoughts for another time.

“GETTING! CLOSER! OH MY!” The flames are close enough now that they have to duck their arms in to keep from getting singed. The suspense is insane.

“ANY MINUTE NOW!” Weren’t the flames supposed to have been deactivated by now? 

Mettaton lets out a strange, distorted sound- sort of like if one were to run a raspy cough through autotune-

Oh, wait. The fire was her job.

She has never typed faster in her _life_ than she does now to pull up the access codes for the fire. For once in this whole narrative with the human, Alphys feels like she’s actually hacking something.

One hand finishes getting the disable-program ready while the other dials their number. She can practically see Mettaton getting ready to make some kind of comment-

_Ring…_

“Watch out! I’ll save you!”

Sweat beads on her forehead, but this time it’s less stress-sweat than it is actual exertion-sweat. Her fingers are already cramping from that furious typing session.

She looks down at her pun ideas and makes a decision. “I’m hacking into the _firewall_ right now!” 

The final button is easy, and the flames disappear with a satisfying _click_. Their shoulders relax, and they let their arms fall back to their sides.

“OH NO! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?” Mettaton's arms, though, are back in the air. 

Once, a cartoon about four humans and a dog who solve mysteries made its way into the dump. Mettaton is very much embodying the villains of that cartoon- she almost expects him to say that _he would have gotten away with it, if not for that meddling Royal Scientist!_

“FOILED AGAIN BY THE BRILLIANT DOCTOR ALPHYS!” Close enough. He pauses for a moment, then makes to start again. “THA-”

But Alphys is already talking. “That’s right! Come on Mettaton, just give up already!” By the time her brain catches up to the fact that she’s just talked over Mettaton, she’s on the next line. 

“You’ll never be able to defeat us!” Somehow, the confidence is overpowering the stage fright right now, and she’s determined to make the most of it before the stutter catches up. “Not as long as we work together!”

And she believes it. The kid’s looking right at Mettaton like they believe it, too.

“You’re puzzle’s over. Now go home and leave us alone!” She stops, breathing a little more heavily than she was before, and basking in the shocked silence that hovers for a moment.

It’s almost startling when Mettaton picks his momentum back up. “PUZZLE? OVER? ALPHYS, DARLING, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” 

Right. There’s still a whole other section, and she just… wasted her cool triumphant speech.

But then Alphys looks at the human, standing straight and defiant in front of Mettaton, and thinks that maybe it wasn’t such a waste.

“DID YOU FORGET WHAT THE GREEN TILES DO?” His tone is as patronizing as a robot can be. “THEY SOUND A NOISE, AND THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT A MONSTER.”

The human doesn’t even waver, even though the implications are quickly becoming obvious, and Alphys feels a second wave of that inexplicable confidence. They’re going in together, and nothing can stand in their way.

“WELL, DARLING, THAT MONSTER… IS ME!” His lunge is unexpectedly aggressive, and the human doesn't even have time to jump back before their soul becomes visible.

They check Mettaton. Surprise surprise, he’s still invulnerable. “THIS IS IT, DARLING! SAY GOODBYE!”

Mettaton doesn't attack. Alphys calls before the human’s next turn can start. 

“H-hey! This seems bad, but don’t worry!” They peek at Mettaton, very obviously still worrying. “Th-there’s one last thing I installed on your phone...!”

They glance rather incredulously at the camera.

“You see that yellow button?” They blink as they seem to notice the giant yellow button on the back of the phone for the first time. “Go to the phone’s [ACT] menu and press it!”

They probably didn’t need the explanation of how ACTing works, but it’s not like there’s any actual time pressure here, so she can over-explain whatever she wants.

They open their phone and [ACT]. For a moment, it seems like the button didn’t do anything, and Alphys’ heart starts to sink. She didn’t exactly have time to find a way to test this, so there’s a very real chance that it won’t work-

Their soul flashes yellow. They stare, Alphys stares, even Mettaton goes still for a moment before remembering his next line. “OH! THAT YELLOW GLOW!”

The soul very slowly rotates.... 

“Now press the button again!” They press it, as instructed, and a yellow pellet of magic fires away into Hotland. 

They catch on, point the phone right at Mettaton, and shoot. They manage to press the button four or five times before- 

“OOH!” Mettaton holds a gloved hand to his screen, lights flashing yellow and red. “OOOOOOH!”

The human lowers the phone a bit as the flashing becomes more intense. It’s a convincing distress signal, fake as it is.

“YOU’VE DEFEATED ME!” He wobbles a bit on his wheel, and Alphys can’t decide whether he looks convincingly wounded or just a bit drunk.

“HOW CAN THIS BE, YOU WERE STRONGER THAN I THOUGHT, ETCETERA.” His tone is... bored, and although Alphys wants this to be over too… can’t he at least bother to be convincing?

Apparently not, because his lights are back to jovial blue and he’s wheeling away, as steady and uninjured as ever. She thinks she can hear him say “WHATEVER” before the broadcast ends rather abruptly.

She blinks at the screen. Sure, he’s had moments of changing the script partway through or getting bored towards the end, but he’s never let the veneer get so thin before.

She doesn’t let it irk her for long, because she has a human to congratulate- and there’s a lot to congratulate them for! This segment was pretty much seamless!

_Ring…_

“L-looks like you beat him!” She gathers her last few post-it-notes, just to be safe, wheels her chair over to the monitors, and flicks to the right camera just in time to see them smile. “Y-you did a really great job out there.”

Alphys is fishing through her prompt notes for some other way to express how proud she is of them (and herself, honestly) when they speak.

“All thanks to you.” They’re still smiling, and the sentence is quiet, but it sends a thrill down Alphys’ spine.

They really trust her. They’re proud of her. 

“What? Oh no, I mean…” Suddenly, she’s blushing, and her train of thought is absolutely gone. Getting credit feels great, sure, but she was not ready for this at all. She shuffles through the notes for more inspiration. “You were the one doing everything cool! I just wrote some silly programs for your phone!”

They’re still smiling. Alphys makes a decision, and tosses the notes in the general direction of her trash can.

“Umm, hey, this might sound strange, but…” They still don’t stop smiling, and god, this kid is just precious. It feels like she could tell them anything right now and they would just keep smiling and encouraging her. “C-can I tell you something?”

It’s just…. It’s all hitting her at once. How much this human has given her a purpose, how between them and Undyne, she’s starting to feel like she’s worthy of _friends_ again.

She wants them to know how much they’ve helped.

“B-before I met you, I d-didn’t really…” She glances down. “I didn’t really like myself very much.”

“F-for a long time, I f-felt like a total screw-up.” Hell, part of her is still protesting that she _is_ a screw-up and that she shouldn’t be allowed to be proud right now. “L-like I couldn’t do anything without… w-without letting everyone down.”

She still can’t look at them right now, so she glues her eyes even harder to the floor.

“B-but!” She manages to drag her gaze from the ground again and forces herself to look at them. They’re still silently waiting for her to continue. The encouraging smile… hasn’t budged, miraculously. “Guiding you has made me feel… a lot better about myself.”

This is certainly a recent revelation. Between guiding them and being on TV and almost constantly worrying about what lies beyond the CORE, this is really the first time she’s gotten to breathe and think about how much better these past few days have been than… any time in recent memory, honestly.

She hasn’t broken down, or had to take a break from feeding the amalgamates to cry, or had a horrible nightmare since they reached Hotland, basically. Well. The nightmare thing might just be because she’s barely slept since they emerged from the Ruins.

“So… thanks for letting me help you.” They nod, still smiling, and seem content to leave it at that. She looks around for her notes, then then sees them… scattered around the trash can. Right. Maybe not her best snap decision, but whatever. Time to get back on track. “Uhh, anyway, we’re almost to the CORE. It’s just past MTT Resort.”

They glance away, across the darkened puzzle, as though trying to catch a glimpse of the hotel and CORE in the distance.

“Come on!” Another burst of that weird confidence comes over her when she realizes that _they’re almost there_. “Let’s finish this!”

* * *

She’s just about done clearing all the notes off her desk and floor when her phone chimes with a notification. She yawns, tosses a wad of post-its into the trash (she doesn’t miss this time) and checks Undernet.

_@♥MTT♥: The human’s just checked into a room. They paid for the night, so we have time._

That’s a relief. Alphys probably has time to finish cleaning, maybe get some sleep, and rehearse her last few lines for the final confrontation.

She’s only halfway through typing a message to express that relief when he follows up.

_@♥MTT♥: Enough time to finish up my body, right sweetheart?_

Of course. 

But also, he does have a point. She promised that he would have his fancy new body by the time the human reached them, and that time has come and passed. The fact that he’s not said anything so far is a minor miracle.

_@ALPHYS: ok ok just gimme like 3hrs_

She still has to finish the wiring in the chest, but beyond that, it should be ready. Hell, three hours should give her time for a nap first.

_@♥MTT♥: See you in 3_

The rest of the cleaning can wait. Alphys heads up to bed, sets her alarm to two hours from now, and passes the hell out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol i did _intend_ to publish this earlier today
> 
> but then i had a date with my old friend procrastination
> 
> hope you enjoy the update anyway :)


	17. Checking In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, some down time! Except, maybe not. Because there's still a robot to build and a love interest to call.

_The usual darkness stretches around her. That’s how Alphys knows immediately that this is a dream- her dreams always seem to take place in this inky darkness._

_Maybe it’s her subconscious trying to make everything creepier. Who knows._

_She knows what to expect from these dreams. Amalgamates or their families or some other threat- no matter how much she prepares, though, it always manages to at least creep her out._

_Vaguely, Alphys realizes that this is the most lucid her dreams have been in awhile. There isn’t that usual sense of looming danger, and her mental monologue is generally making sense._

_“Hey.” She’s so deep in that mental monologue that she jumps at the voice._

_She turns to find the human._

_Their voice is stronger than usual. Their posture, too. It's almost convincing, but their face is a little too mean, and their skin has a grayish pallor that gives away that this is just a dream-facsimile._

_She doesn’t even manage to open her mouth to greet them before they keep going._

_“I didn’t expect to see you here.” Alphys snorts- _yeah, because you’re a figment of my subconscious_. “Thought you’d run away once the shows were done.”_

_“H-heh, yeah, I-”_

_“Glad I don’t have to leave without saying goodbye.” Alphys stops. Leave? "Let's make it official, at least. Shake my hand before I go."_

_They hold out a hand. The dream-human is very different from the real one, not timid or quiet. A very obvious fake, but it still feels… unsettling._

_She reaches out, shakes their hand. They pull back. “I almost died, you know.”_

_Alphys goes to wipe her sweaty hands on her coat, but the texture of them feels strange. She looks down._

_They’re gray with dust. A look confirms that the human's skin isn't just discolored. It's coated with gray powder._

_“But I didn’t. You delivered me right to him, and I won.” Their face is curled into a sneer, eyes glinting almost red, and Alphys feels sick. The comforting memory that this is all fake dissipates. It feels _too_ real, even as the “human” becomes less and less recognizable as themself._

_“And now I can leave. Not sure whether I should thank you or not.” They start to turn away, but look back. “Then again, why would I thank you for lying to me?”_

_And they’re gone._

* * *

__

She doesn’t jump awake, like she usually does after a nightmare.

And it makes sense. That wasn’t terrifying, necessarily, just… eery.

She’s not sweating, or shaking. She just has that same old pit in her stomach.

Logically, this dream was just a manifestation about her anxieties over the fact that she can’t protect the human or Asgore past the CORE. It’s not some premonition, and it won’t necessarily come to pass. She knows that. 

The human is a sweet, meek kid, not some snarly demon or whatever. She knows that, too.

But. Alphys’ mind is not feeling logical right now. And she just… feels so impotent. Useless. 

Their words echo in her ears. _You just delivered me to Asgore._

It takes a second of pulling herself back together before she realizes that the alarm isn’t going off. She checks her clock… and damn. She still has an hour left on the timer, which means she only slept for one.

And she has two hours to kill before Mettaton gets here.

* * *

The name of the game is keeping busy. If she stops moving, she’ll start to think about her dream or about the reality it’s based on, and that would not bode well for her general sanity.

What better task to busy herself with than making sure Mettaton won’t find anything to criticize about his new body?

Plus, she can use the excuse of being in the lower lab to feed the amalgamates. She hasn’t fed them yet today.

Almost as soon as the elevator grinds to a halt (she really should do some maintenance on it soon, another thing for the post-human to-do list) Endogeny is bounding directly at her, ectoplasm-slobber-stuff flecking down its front and mixing with the slime that makes up its body.

Between Endogeny and Lemon Bread, Alphys gets closer to losing fingers than she pretty much ever has- one of her claws even gets a bit of a clipping.

But that’s just a day in the life of Royal Scientist Alphys. She wipes the ectoplasm off and gets to work. 

Mettaton EX is almost fully-realized. There are some things she probably won’t have time to do between now and installation. For one, the faceplate is still half-missing, although she’s curled the synthetic hair over it as a temporary fix.

The arms from his box form will be recycled into this one for now, along with the battery and some of the internal wiring for his sound system. So the armlessness, lack of a battery, and mostly useless chest speaker are only until she combines the two bodies. In… an hour and a half, now.

Other than those blatantly missing elements, Mettaton EX looks pretty great. Alphys doesn’t like to toot her own horn, but the fact that she’s taken a metal skeleton and made this with it in less than two days is pretty freakin’ impressive.

Once he has arms, he’ll look almost exactly like those original designs from way back in Human Fanclub.

Alphys checks her mental list of tasks. Mettaton EX is mostly ready, and she already contacted the CORE workers to have it rearranged to her specifications. She could pull up the schematics, get her map ready, maybe write some notes on guiding the human through the CORE while she finishes this wiring job.

Or she could talk to Undyne.

She still hasn’t checked up on the captain, and talking to Undyne doesn’t involve worrying about the human in any way, shape or form. Ideally, at least.

She fiddles with the wires for a second before making her decision.

_Ring.._

What if Undyne’s hurt? What if her pride is more than just bruised? A worry Alphys hadn’t even known she was feeling bubbles to the surface as soon as she hears the phone ringing.

She shouldn’t have waited so long to call.

_Ring…_

“Hey, Alphys!” Undyne’s voice has almost never sounded so nice, just as loud and boisterous as usual. Something warm and relieved flutters in Alphys’ chest. Why was she even worried? This is Undyne she’s dealing with.

“Hi, Undyne. H-how are you?”

“I’m GREAT! Snowdin’s cold, but I’ve got Papyrus here to distract me!” The phone rustles around a bit, and Alphys can hear the crunching of snow and a nasally voice.

“HEY! DON’T NOOGIE THE SKELETON!” Well, it’s good that they’re just hanging out, seemingly normally.

But that raises other questions.

“Uh, why are you in Snowdin?” Undyne may not hate it as much as she hates Hotland, but she’s not a fan of the cold or snow either.

“Oh, yeah, Frisk took over Pap’s cooking lesson, and they’re a BADASS!” Frisk? “But we played with fire a little too hard, and, uh, it won.”

Oh, no. It’s finally happened. Undyne’s destroyed something with her reckless attempts at cooking, and Alphys is gonna have to fix more than just her oven this time. She’s already setting the screwdriver down and starting to get up, wiring completely forgotten-

“What did you b-burn?” Hopefully something replaceable-

“My whole house! It’s metal as hell!” _What?_

Alphys sits back down to process that. Whoever Frisk is, they must be even crazier than Undyne.

“Your… your whole h-house? Undyne, how??” 

“The lesson may have gotten a little outta control. I’ve never seen ANYONE cook like that!!!” Very high praise, from Undyne.

“Who’s F-Frisk, anyway?” 

A very long and uncharacteristic silence. Alphys has never heard Undyne at a loss for words before, much less after finding a new partner in crime.

“FRISK IS THE SMALL HUMAN!” Papyrus chimes in, seemingly from a few feet away from the receiver.

Surprise shoots through her, and then embarrassment. Frisk. In all Alphys’ monologuing, she forgot to ask their name. Frisk.

It fits the little human well- unremarkable, but solid and resonant. 

“H-how do you know their name?” Undyne still doesn’t respond, but Papyrus seems happy to take over.

“I ASKED THEM WHEN WE HUNG OUT, AND TOLD UNDYNE AFTER SHE CAME HERE!” Oh. How does she keep forgetting that Papyrus technically befriended the human- no, _Frisk_ \- first? 

“EVERYONE KNOWS THAT AN EXCHANGE OF NAMES IS NECESSARY FOR FRIENDSHIP!” The fact that Papyrus remembered such an important detail where she didn’t is just a perfect dose of irony. “AND I AM TRULY GREAT AT CREATING FRIENDSHIPS, SO I TOOK THE EXCHANGE OF NAMES UPON MYSELF! NYEH HEH HEH!”

Undyne is still quiet, and although Alphys has no doubt Papyrus could keep talking for days, she just wants to talk to Undyne. For. Uh. Informational reasons.

Sure.

“H-hey, Undyne, you still there?” No response. Well. From Undyne, at least.

“UNDYNE IS STILL EMBARRASSED THAT SHE LOST TO THE HUMAN.” Oh. Bruised ego was something Alphys expected. “DON’T WORRY, UNDYNE! I ALSO LOST TO THE HUMAN!”

“Undyne, they r-really don’t mean any harm, it’s okay that they escaped-”

“Yeah, it’s fine. They’re a strong kid, and we had a good fight.” Well. Phew. As long as she’s okay, Alphys is okay. There's reluctance in Undyne's voice, but considering Alphys thought she would be downright murderous at the mention of the human, this is a welcome surprise. “Anyway, watching ‘em kick the shit out of that tin can on TV’ll be worth letting them pass ANY day!”

“Oh, you’ve been… w-watching?” Oh, no. God no. If she saw Mettaton’s crush question on the quiz show, if she _knows_ , Alphys will personally reduce that robot to scrap metal.

“I didn’t see the first episode, ‘cause I had heat stroke. Hotland SUCKS. We’ve watched the rest of them, though! You and Frisk make a BADASS team, Alph!” 

“Th-thanks, Undyne-”

“YES! I’M GLAD THE HUMAN IS MAKING SO MANY FRIENDS. THEY WERE SO LONELY WHEN I MET THEM!” 

Alphys doesn’t mind Papyrus. She really, really doesn’t. But it’s been two days since she’s spoken to her best friend and she just wants to catch up.

She clears her throat. “S-so, Undyne, you’re okay now, right? No more h-heat stroke?” 

“I’m in Snowdin, and snow probably cancels out heat, right?” She sounds fine, at least. It has been like a day since the fight, so it makes sense that she'd be feeling better.

Alphys can chill out. She hears the crunching of snow on the other end, like someone's walking.

“W-well, uh, that’s good!” Ugh, she doesn’t talk to Undyne for two days and suddenly it’s like they just exchanged numbers again. “Uh, also, I’m glad you've liked the shows! So far!” 

Warmth coats her cheeks. 

“Are you gonna be on the next one?” Alphys smiles at the genuine curiosity.

“I mean, I probably need to p-protect them again, right?” She wishes she could tell Undyne about all of this, about the plan. This is the kind of thing she would get a kick out of, especially with all the violent theatrics involved.

“Cool! Well, me and Papyrus are probably gonna be here for awhile, so we’ll tune in next time you need to kick some metal ass!” In the past, Undyne’s not-so-thinly-veiled disdain for Mettaton has been awkward, but now it feels like Alphys has someone behind her- and who better to have as backup than the most badass member of the Royal Guard?

Alphys inhales, trying to find a cool, casual, suave way to respond, but Papyrus beats her to the punch.

“UNDYNE!” He sounds farther away than before- did Undyne move away to make their conversation more private? Cute! “THE HUMAN IS CALLING!”

“Gimme a minute!” It’s muffled, like Undyne has a hand over the phone. The clarity returns a moment later, though. “Well, looks like I gotta go. Good luck, nerd!”

The line disconnects, and Alphys is left sitting in her Lower Lab, blushing like a schoolgirl.

She puts down the phone, picks up the screwdriver, and just sits there for a second trying to get focused again.

It’s the reminder that she has, uh, _half an hour now_ before a very non-romantic meeting with Mettaton that gets her back into gear. If he finds even the smallest flaw in this thing, she might lose her final chance to convince Frisk that they don’t have to leave or try and fight their way home. This show is how she tells them that they have _friends_ here, friends they don't need to leave behind.

This is her last chance to save both them and Asgore, and Mettaton is the key to it.

Essentially, if she fails here, she fails the whole thing. And. Well. That terrifies her, obviously. After all her hard work, after the stress, after that dream- Alphys has come too far to lose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alphys pls kiss the fish (or let the fish kiss you, i'm not picky)


	18. A Long Time Coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The clock is ticking down to the final performance in the CORE.
> 
> First, though, at long last, Alphys has a robot to finish.

Another item for her list of post-human chores- join Undyne in her workouts. Alphys is sweating and sore by the time Mettaton EX is on her upstairs workbench, and she has to change into a clean lab coat before she goes down to grab her tools.

It pays off, though, because she ends up ready at her workbench with five minutes to spare.

Alphys heads out to the foyer, and she waits.

The jitters come fast, because he hasn’t texted her or anything, which means he’s probably on his way, and ugh, he’ll be here soon.

As if on cue, the doors open. Hot, dry air hits her face, and Mettaton practically skids into her lab.

She only has a moment to say goodbye to the peace and quiet before he’s talking and it's time to get into gear.

“ALPHYS! SCIENTIST OF THE HOUR! HOW ARE YOU, DARLING?” He wheels up and loops an arm through her elbow.

She finds herself being towed in the direction of the conveyors.

“Uh, I’m f-fine.” She worms her arm from his hold and scurries ahead of him. It’s important to take leadership of this situation before it can get fully out of her control. “How are you?”

“ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL!” As stressful as it is to see him, the part of Alphys that remembers being his best friend is very happy for him. This is a big day, after all. “I’VE BEEN IMAGINING THIS FOR SO LONG, DARLING, I-”

He stops, and if he could suck in a breath, she’s pretty sure he would. The workbench is all set up for the installation, and on top of it is Mettaton EX.

Alphys is really proud of it. The body looks polished and complete, pink plastic smooth and metal shimmering, and it’s hard to wrap her head around the fact that she did most of this in less than two days.

Mettaton’s still speechless as he gets a closer look, and with his neutrally yellow screen she really can’t tell if he’s good speechless or bad speechless.

Finally, after what seems like and hour, he turns back to her, a pixelated heart crossing his display.

“IT’S BEAUTIFUL, ALPHYS. REALLY.” She blinks. Of all the reactions, heartfelt isn’t really what she was expecting. 

“Th-thank you!” It’s a surprised squeak. Her planned excuses for any of his criticisms are useless, but at least she still has sincerity to fall back on. “I’m really g-glad you like it.”

“I DO, DARLING.” There’s a pause, as he turns back to her workbench. “YOU KNOW, I’D LIKE IT EVEN MORE IF YOU STARTED INSTALLING IT.” And just like that, the moment’s over.

Alphys takes a deep breath and makes the mental shift to business mode.

“Alright. H-here’s how this is gonna work.”

* * *

It’s weird to disassemble her masterwork robot after spending so much time and energy these last two days on assembling it. But the installation isn’t as simple as just opening Mettaton’s box up, stuffing his new body in, and calling it a day. This has to happen in a very specific order, and if Alphys wants EX to be functional, she needs to take her time installing each piece separately.

Mettaton’s been pretty quiet, sitting on the table, just sort of watching her get prepared. It’s awkward, but not painful. The fact that he’s happy with the body makes this much easier.

She finishes disconnecting the head and turns fully to him.

“O-okay! Now we start.” She looks him over. She has to open his back, but he thoroughly rejected the idea of being powered down, which limits her options.

“Uh, do you mind being f-facedown? I need to open the panelling on your back.” His arms cross over his screen for a moment, belying his distaste, but he retracts them a moment later and cooperatively tilts forward onto his front.

Alphys snorts at the picture that creates, getting a slightly muffled, “HAHA, VERY FUNNY” in response.

She ignores it, unscrews the outer panel, and gets to work. 

The silence stretches as Alphys unhooks wires. She just doesn’t know exactly what to say, but it's getting annoying, and she decides not to let it linger.

“So, um, r-ready for the CORE?” She separates the last bit of wiring from the battery and sets it aside.

“WELL, IT’S THE SAME THING WE’VE BEEN DOING THIS WHOLE TIME. NOT MUCH READYING TO DO, DARLING.” He doesn’t exactly sound enthusiastic, sure, but at least he’s ready.

“Just making sure, because this is r-really important.” She wonders if he’s been thinking about the same things she has since their conversation on Undernet earlier.

“ABOUT THAT.” Well, that sounds like a yes. “WHAT EXACTLY _IS_ THE GOAL HERE?”

“Uh. Well, like I s-said earlier, I’m worried about them fighting Asgore.” If she can persuade Mettaton that this is a good idea, he might be more committed to convincingly “fighting” them later. “I want to show them that they don’t have to try and l-leave. Because if they stay, we can keep them safe, h-here.”

He hums quietly, then falls silent again. Apparently that’s all she’s getting out of him for the time being.

Probably for the best, considering she needs to focus.

* * *

It’s after around an hour of putting in parts, and rearranging them, and putting in the next parts, ad nauseum, that Alphys can step back.

It looks like she took Mettaton EX apart and stuffed him in a box.

And that’s exactly how it should look, silly as it is. 

Now for the hard part. Connecting the battery and internal wiring is going to be a delicate task, but this has gone so well so far that it’s not daunting.

About halfway through hooking up the battery, Mettaton talks again.

“DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN CONVINCE THEM TO STAY HERE?” His tone is very neutral, and she decides to be honest.

“I think I have a shot, yeah. They t-trust me.” The fact that they’ve become such a good friend in just two days… it’s a seriously wonderful feeling. “And I just… I just can’t let Asgore k-kill them, or destroy humanity. I _can’t_.”

“HM. YOU’RE CONFIDENT.” She is. Alphys has agonized over this too much to be insecure about the plan anymore. “BUT DO YOU REALLY THINK THEY’D ABANDON THE SURFACE FOR FRIENDS THEY BARELY KNOW?”

She’s thought about that, too. And it might be a long shot, but… 

“It’s… it’s the only way to save them.” She pauses in her tinkering. “It’s worth a shot if it means they might survive.”

Alphys takes a deep, steadying breath. She is worn out and exhausted and the last thing she needs is to fall into anxiety over this again.

“I’M SURPRISED, DARLING. YOU JUST MET THEM TWO DAYS AGO, AND YOU’RE ALREADY SO WORKED UP ABOUT KEEPING THEM SAFE.”

‘Worked up.’ She’d prefer to call it ‘dedicated’ or ‘passionate’, but she isn’t here to argue semantics with him, so she lets this one go.

“I just feel like they get me.” The memory of how understanding they've been about pretty much everything galvanizes her. “I’ve n-never made a friend so easily before. And they’re p-p-pretty much my _only_ friend, besides Undyne. I can’t just let them risk their l-life like this.”

Mettaton stays quiet this time.

* * *

It takes another half hour to finish wiring everything. Flipping his back panel shut and feeling the way it clicks as everything fits neatly into place is amazing.

It’s been awhile since she’s gotten to really enjoy the satisfaction of a job well done, and Alphys lets it sink in for a moment before getting back into the details.

“Okay! S-so, uh, yay! It’s done!” His wheel and arms emerge again, and he uses them to push himself back up and off the bench, teetering for a second before balancing on the floor again.

“UGH. WE NEED TO FIND A MORE EFFICIENT WAY TO DO THAT FOR MY NEXT TUNE-UP.”

“Heh, yeah, m-maybe by then I’ll have a more official workbench.” She collects herself for a second before remembering that she has some, uh, disclaimers to give.

“Alright, uh, before you go, just a few more things.” Really only two more things, but that’s okay.

“S-s-so, I didn’t really have enough time to make a new battery. So you should be able to flip the switch, and shift to EX, but it’ll n-need another tune-up and a new battery to r-really optimize the power consumption.” He leans against the workbench again.

“SO, HOW LONG WILL THE BATTERY LAST?” 

“Probably an hour or two. B-but, uh, it’ll depend on how active you are. It could be less than an hour if you’re doing something, um, strenuous.” Mettaton’s screen flashes an affirmative blue.

“ANYTHING ELSE?” 

Alphys nods.

“Yeah, actually. Um. When you s-switch, you’ll have a heart-shaped, l-like, core-thing?” She should probably come up with cooler names for all these parts, considering this is the most complex machine she's ever built.

“It’s going to be an easy focal point for magic, but also your only r-real weak point. Which is why it’s in the p-protective tank. So. if you ever get in a real f-fight, for any reason, just protect it.”

Another flash of understanding blue, but he doesn’t say anything to follow-up.

“S-so, uh-”

“WELL, IF THAT’S IT, DARLING, I’LL SEE MYSELF OUT.”

He’s already heading for the conveyor when she re-composes herself enough for a response.

“Uh. B-bye?”

Alphys just stands there for a second before shaking off the awkwardness and getting back to work on her CORE map and script.

It’s almost time to end this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't worry alphys, the core is gonna go _great_


	19. CORE Approach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guiding them through the CORE should be the easy part, after all the preparation Alphys has done.
> 
> So why is everything going so spectacularly wrong?

Alphys is more ready for this than she has been for anything in her life. She has Frisk's route through the CORE mapped out, she’s already disabled the CORE’s elevator, and for the first time so far, her lines are fully memorized.

There’s nothing left to do but wait. Alphys sits down in front of her monitor, map laid out on her lap, phone at the ready, and a view of the entrance to the CORE pulled up.

And she waits. She scrolls through Undernet (almost nothing new there), rewatches an episode of Mew Mew that she had saved to her camera roll, and rehearses her lines to herself until they’re almost stuck in her head.

And the boredom is just starting to make her seriously consider getting up and finding something more to do when the back doors of the hotel open, and Frisk steps out onto the boardwalk.

Alphys is about to call when they stop, dead in their tracks. 

A shadowy figure disappears into the CORE ahead of them just as the phone call connects.

_Ring…_

“Huh?” Alphys watches the doors, as though the figure might reappear. “Who are they?”

“I dunno,” Frisk says, shrugging. 

“N-nobody else is supposed to be here.” She specifically had the CORE closed to visitors and maintenance for the next few hours, so there really shouldn’t be anyone wandering around.

Eh. They’re probably just stragglers heading back to New Home, right?

“Oh well! We can’t worry about that now!” Alphys pauses to let them make their way inside and take in the entrance to the CORE.

She also takes a second to check the map one more time before flipping to the next camera. The next move is to guide them to the deactivated elevator, act like she has no idea why it isn't working, and then lead them up her engineered path to the right.

Time to get this thing started.

“Ready? This is it!” Normally Alphys would still be coming to terms with that, but she feels very secure in how she's prepared for this. It's time. “Take the elevator up to the top of the CORE!”

She hangs up with a click, just to complete the illusion that she really thinks the elevator is going to work, and watches them press the button.

Nothing happens. They stand there, press it again, and wait some more before Alphys starts another call.

“What?” Her feigned surprise has improved a lot since the first TV segment. “The elevator should be working.”

“Yeah, I dunno.” They shrug again and look around.

“W-well then!” She checks her map one more time, just to get the path cemented into her mind. “Go to the right and keep heading up!”

Just as they step through the entrance, Alphys starts to call them with the next direction.

They pick up the phone.

“Alright, now just keep heading up!” She says, confidently, just as she looks up at the monitor to find them standing on… a platform overlooking nothing?

She looks at her map again, and, yeah, this is supposed to be a pathway upwards. Weird. “Uh. That pit. Isn’t on my map.”

Thank god she kept some back up routes.

“Forget it! Let’s try the left side!” They nod and turn around.

Alphys shuffles through her maps until she finds one for the leftward route. That should be a path upward, then to the right.

It’s a relief to see them step through the doorway onto a fully intact pathway.

She calls again.

“Okay, you should be able to make it through here-” Just as she starts to verbalize their next route, another shadowy figure lunges from the shadows.

“W-watch out!” It leaps into the light to attack the human, and she recognizes a Madjick. 

Well, okay. It’s not too strange to see Madjicks in the CORE. Alphys has to take a deep breath. It’s alright. This started rocky, but after they get through here, it should all go to plan.

They spare the Madjick and look back to the camera. That’s when Alphys realizes she never hung up.

“Th-that was close…” But the question of why there are still monsters hanging around after her order to clear out remains. “Wh… why are there so many monsters here?”

“I mean. It’s no problem, r-r-right?” She just has to grit her teeth through the nerves. They give her an encouraging smile in response.

They’re handling it. They’ll be fine. They’ve fought their way through the whole Underground (without actually physically fighting anyone, as far as she knows), and they can fight their way through a couple of Madjicks if they need to.

“W-w-we’ve just got to keep heading forward!” She glances back at the map as they hang up and head for the next door.

This next area matches her map too, luckily. There’s a barrier up that shouldn’t be, but the button to deactivate it is right there, so it should be fine. For a moment, it feels like the rough start is in the past.

Alphys calls again. 

“Looks like you can’t proceed until you hit the switch.” She consults the map again, just because she knows most switches in the CORE have defensive traps nearby, and sure enough: “B-but, those lasers will activate when you do.”

“Ummm…” She pushes her glasses up on her snout to read the fine print. “Looks like they’ll come in this order- orange, orange, blue. Got it?”

“Okay, yeah.” They nod. Lasers are familiar to them now.

But, just in case, she adds, “M-move until the third one!” Before hanging up to let them get it done.

They flip the switch, and the lasers turn on. They start moving- right as two blue lasers pass through, followed by an orange.

Alphys can see the burnt spots on their clothes where the lasers pass through, and their walk is a little more unsteady as they cross the next catwalk. 

“Oh my god. Are you hurt?” They just look down. Shit. “I… I’m so sorry. I gave you the wrong order.”

The map very specifically says that the lasers are _orange, orange, blue._ How is her map wrong? She got it today! Hell, she was the one who had the CORE rearranged this way; she shouldn’t have this wrong!

The one thing Alphys can’t do is freak out. She knows that. So she takes a deep breath.

“Everything’s going to be fine, okay?” And so what if she’s also trying to convince herself of that? “L-let’s just keep heading to the right.”

She hangs up and wipes the gathering sweat from her hands. This is getting stressful- what happened to being prepared for any outcome?

They step through the doorway and come to an intersection. She consults the map, even though at this point her trust in the map has mostly disappeared.

“A crossroads… Uhh…” Alphys doesn’t see an intersection on the map. It should be straight forward to the next door. “Umm…”

They wait patiently for her to figure her shit out.

Well, since it should be straight forward to the right, that’s probably the way they need to go.

“T-try heading to the right!” She hangs up before she can embarrass herself more, right before realizing that going up instead of to the right might take them more directly to the next area.

It’s worth a shot, right? Alphys calls again.

They stop right before heading down the hall. 

“W-wait! I think you should h-head up!” She hangs up to watch once more, with a silent promise not to bother them again until they've made some more progress.

They turn around and head up, and she flips to the next camera-

It’s a dead-end room, with a hulking, armored figure pointing a spear right at the human.

Shit.

“Wh-what the hell?” Alphys mutters under her breath. How could this be so different from her map? What’s going on?

She recognizes the figure as Knight Knight- one of the mercenaries Asgore sometimes hires to assist the Royal Guard.

What the _fuck_ is a mercenary doing, hanging around the CORE?

She checks back up to see Knight Knight slumped against the wall… asleep? Unconscious? Alphys can’t tell, but this is just so strange that she doesn’t bother trying to make sense of it. 

It’s reflex to call Frisk now. 

But what to say?

“Sorry… I… I…” She doesn’t have an explanation. The room and the mercenary shouldn’t have _been here_ , this is _all wrong_. “I thought that…”

There’s nothing to say. She was wrong, and they could have been killed.

“Let’s try the right path instead.” Alphys sighs. Hopefully the right path isn’t another dead end.

They turn around and head back down as she flips through her maps and camera. 

They’re in front of a walkway, which is good, that should be there…

What shouldn’t be there is the gauntlet of lasers, all fully powered up in an impassable formation of blue and orange.

Alphys’ heart is sinking as she dials again. 

_Ring…_

“M-more lasers…” This is getting out of control, and it’s time to take real steps. No more screwing around here. “Okay, I… I won’t mess around this time.” 

She’s already up and heading for her desk, barely remembering to grab the map (whatever good that stupid thing can do at this point).

“I’ll just deactivate the lasers and let you through.” They nod. Alphys pulls up the laser database and finds the right sector of the CORE.

A few clicks, and… off they go!

Or not. A scramble back to the monitor reveals them all still activated.

Alphys’ eyes widen. What the hell…

“They’re… they’re… not turning off…” She squeezes her eyes shut, panic rushing to her head. “I can’t turn them off, I…” 

The phone shakes in her hand. Why is this all going so wrong?

But they’re still waiting for her next direction, aren’t they?

Yeah. They’re counting on her. They need her to pull her head out of her ass and figure this out.

“I-i-it’s okay! I have this under control!” Alphys actually really doesn’t, but they can’t know that.

If the lasers won’t turn off, she’s just going to have to override the controls entirely.

“I’m going to turn off the p-power for the whole node. Then you can walk across”

She heads back to her computer, and realizes with no small amount of irony that this is the first real hacking she’s going to have to do so far.

It takes a second to get into the correct node and find the power controls, but Alphys manages it, and the node seems to accept her command to power down.

A check on the monitor shows the CORE darkened and the lasers gone. Triumph and relief wash over her in equal measure.

“Okay, go!”

She stays at her computer this time, because who knows what else is going to go wrong. The power stays off for a minute or so.

And then, seemingly on their own, commands for a reboot start scrolling across her screen. And Frisk is only halfway across.

She fumbles for the phone, _please pick up please pick up please-_

“W-WAIT! STOP!” They stop in their tracks, just as the lasers flick back on. They stand stock still, not daring to move as blue light magic washes over their body.

“Th-the power… it’s turning itself back on.” Alphys doesn’t understand. This shouldn’t be possible, _she’s_ supposed to be in control here- “D-damn it. Th-this isn’t supposed to…”

They still aren’t responding, just focusing on not moving an inch so the lasers won’t damage them.

“I…” What can she do? What can she say? Is this even salvageable at this point?

No. No, this has to be redeemable. She can’t let it go, not after so much work. “I’m gonna turn it off again.”

“When it turns off, move a little, and then STOP.” She can’t stop the power from turning back on, but she can turn it back off as soon as it does. “Okay? Y-you won’t get h-hurt.”

Please, please don’t let them get hurt.

Alphys hangs up and gets back to work. If she wants to protect them, well…

She’s actually going to need to use her hacking skills.

Almost as soon as she turns them off again, they reboot themselves. It happens seven or eight more times before they manage to get across the narrow pathway and onto a solid, laser-less platform.

The panic subsides a bit when she realizes they made it through unscathed. But only a bit, because that was still a dangerous anomaly that she did not plan for.

_Ring…_

“S-see? I’ve got everything under control.” Alphys wonders if they can tell yet that she doesn’t actually think that. She’s almost never felt less confident about anything, but all she can do now is try and convince them and herself. “Everything’s under control!”

She begs anyone who might be out there that the next part of her map is accurate.

They step into the next area…

_Ring…_

“Okay! You should… you should…” And her prayers are dashed. She has no fucking idea what this room is, but she does know that it’s not the one on her map.

Alphys feels sick.

“I don’t know. This doesn’t look like my map at all.” She has no idea what she can do. “I...I…”

The way they’re still standing there, waiting for her to guide them… She just can’t do this. “I’m sorry. I… I… I have to go.”

She ends the call. It takes a few shuddering breaths to compose herself and think about her next move. They’ve walked forward to read some signs, and they seem to be onto something, because they make a beeline for a puzzle down one of the hallways.

They can do this on their own.

Alphys needs to start heading for the CORE, because if there’s any hope of this final fight going the way she’s planned, she has to physically be there to “deactivate” Mettaton at the end of it.

She reactivates the CORE elevator, puts on a clean labcoat, wipes away the sweat as best she can, and leaves her lab.

* * *

The walk is miserable, because at this point any excitement to get this over with is long gone.

The CORE was a bad sign. This was supposed to be the moment she secured their friendship, the moment she convinced them to trust her enough not to leave. And she just dropped the ball on the first half of it.

She shakes the dread off as best she can and takes the elevator up to Right Floor 3.

Earlier, Alphys was pretty confident about the final fight against Mettaton. After talking with him, it felt like all the loose ends were tied and all possible preparation had been completed.

But she also felt confident about guiding them through the CORE, too, and look how that turned out.

She has to pretty much jog through the hotel, because being late to the battle would just be too much at this point. She can't shake the feeling that the bad luck isn't over yet.

The part of her that wants to hurry there and make it on time is warring with the part of her that wants to turn tail and run back to the lab. The internal conflict arrests her momentum once she reaches the elevator, and she just stands there for a moment, taking in the finality of it all. This elevator is the last thing between her and the possibility of saying goodbye to Frisk. That’s a lot to process. 

The ride up feels like an eternity, and it's both relieving and terrifying when the doors open to the metal interior of the CORE.

Alphys takes a deep breath as she stands a few feet away from the entrance to the stage. She can hear muffled talking through the open door, which means the human is already in there. Good timing, at least.

She creeps closer and presses herself to the side of the door to wait for her cue. Mettaton’s booming, robotic voice becomes clear enough to make out.

“THIS WAS ALL A BIG SHOW.” 

The words echo through the CORE, just quiet enough that Alphys wonders if she misheard him. What is he talking about?

“AN ACT.”

This doesn’t sound like the monologue they planned together.

“ALPHYS HAS BEEN PLAYING YOU FOR A FOOL THE WHOLE TIME.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins.


	20. Plot Twist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alphys isn't the one in control, anymore.

Alphys is first and foremost confused, although the confusion is quickly sinking into worry.

The very small part of her that's still trying to be smart and strategic is the only thing keeping her from storming in there and figuring out what the hell is going on.

“AS SHE WATCHED YOU ON THE SCREEN, SHE GREW ATTACHED TO YOUR ADVENTURE.” Mettaton’s still talking about her. Her heart sinks further. “SHE DESPERATELY WANTED TO BE A PART OF IT.”

Is he going to sell her out completely? Air all her embarrassing little secrets to them?

If that's really his goal... why? What does he gain from this?

“SO SHE DECIDED TO INSERT HERSELF INTO YOUR STORY.” When he says it like that, it sounds so intrusive. Like she forced herself into their life or something. He makes it all seem so much more sinister than it is.

“SHE DEACTIVATED PUZZLES.” 

Alphys knows she should be barging in there and defending her name, but some part of her still hopes the plan can continue.

“SHE DISABLED ELEVATORS.”

There’s also the fact that she’s shaking like a leaf. She probably couldn’t move if she tried; hell, if not for the wall she’s leaning on she most likely would have fallen already.

“SHE ENLISTED ME TO TORMENT YOU.” 

Again. Why does Mettaton have to act like she was trying to hurt them, like she just wanted to “torment” them or whatever?

Can he really not see her many, many good intentions?

“ALL SO SHE COULD SAVE YOU FROM DANGERS THAT DIDN’T EXIST.” Some dangers did exist! There were. Uh. Puzzles and lasers?

Shit. She was the one who activated all the puzzles and lasers. 

“ALL SO YOU WOULD THINK SHE’S THE GREAT PERSON,” and his tone is almost smug now, “THAT SHE’S NOT.”

That hits like a blow. To hear someone she once considered a best friend say… say that she’s not a good person… it hurts. It really, really hurts. It takes all her strength not to slump down against the wall. 

She’s fallen so deep into shock and disbelief that she barely hears his next words.

“AND NOW, IT’S TIME FOR HER FINEST HOUR.” She has to pay attention again, because if he says what she thinks he’s about to say…

What the _hell_ is his plan here?

“AT THIS VERY MOMENT, ALPHYS IS WAITING OUTSIDE THE ROOM.” She’d already guessed that he was about to give her away, but it still feels like _betrayal_.

“DURING OUR “BATTLE”, SHE WILL INTERRUPT.” His voice fades into the background, drowned out by her own horrified realization. He’s finally ruined it all. The plan is officially over.

It’s been a good run, but there’s no way they’ll trust her after this.

No way she’ll be able to convince them to stay.

“FINALLY, SHE WILL BE THE HEROINE OF YOUR ADVENTURE.” That wasn’t the point. That was never the point. She just wanted to convince them to stay- “YOU’LL REGARD HER SO HIGHLY, SHE’LL EVEN BE ABLE TO CONVINCE YOU NOT TO LEAVE.”

“OR NOT. YOU SEE, I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS PREDICTABLE CHARADE.” Of course he has.

She should have seen the signs- his irritation about having to feed her lines, the little jabs he snuck into the script… Why didn’t she realize that he would betray her as soon as he got his body?

See, this is why she waited so long to finish it. Part of her knew this would happen, and it _hurts_ to have that part of her proven right.

He’s still talking in the background. She might be missing some of it, but that's probably for the best. There's a good chance he's just listing more reasons they shouldn't ever trust her again.

“AND WHAT’S A GOOD SHOW…” He pauses.

“WITHOUT A PLOT TWIST?” The meaning of the words has only just begun to register when the doors slam closed, seemingly on their own.

Confusion and dread overflow, and she pounds on the door.

“H-hey! Wh-wh-what’s going on in there?” It’s locked, and she still just doesn’t understand why he would do this, why he would call her out and then lock her out. “Th-th-the door just locked itself!”

His voice is too muffled to make out, but she can hear that he’s continued to speak.

She knocks again.

“Hey! Mettaton, wh-what’s the deal?” Lights flicker under the door, and music blares for a moment. She can hear machinery whirring to life- sounds like he’s turned on the moving staging and lights. The show is starting without her.

“Wh-what are you doing?” She shouts. “We h-h-had a plan!”

Something crashes inside the room, and she realizes with a pang of dread that Frisk is still in there, and it seems like he’s actually fighting them.

He’s invincible. There’s no way for them to fight back, and even if they can hold out, his battery will probably last him a few more hours, at least.

As durable as they've proven to be, Alphys can’t see them winning in an endurance test against a literal robot.

How to help? She could call them, but what advice could she give? He’s fully invincible, there’s no way...

Actually, no. As of earlier today, he has a weakness.

For once, Alphys isn’t sure whether Frisk is going to answer her call- they’re fighting, after all, and they definitely shouldn't quite trust her anymore. It’s a relief when they actually pick up.

“Uh…uh… I can’t see what’s going on in there, but…” She takes a second to gather her thoughts. Mettaton probably won’t give them long to be on the phone if he’s really fighting them, so she has to be concise, no matter how freaked out she may be. “D-d-don’t give up, okay?”

This isn’t like a scripted show where she had some trick up her sleeve. If this were two days ago, back before he had a vulnerable second form, she wouldn’t have been able to help.

Luckily, though, she knows how to make him vulnerable- and she’s feeling just spiteful and betrayed enough to try it.

“Th-there’s one l-l-last way to beat Mettaton.” This is freaky. She can’t see what’s going on. She can only trust that they’re still uninjured enough to get him turned around. “It’s, um, it’s…”

This is gonna sound stupid. “This is a work in progress, so don’t judge it too hard. But, you know how Mettaton always faces f-f-forward?”

They probably hadn’t noticed, but whatever.

“That’s because there’s a switch on his backside.” Alphys wonders for a second if this is the right thing to do, but dashes those thoughts pretty fast. Mettaton didn’t think about the impact on her before ruining this whole thing, did he? 

It still makes her nervous, though.

“S-s-so if y-y-you c-c-can turn him around and, umm, press th-the switch…” She hears something crash in on the other end. They’re still not verbally responding, and it’s worrying her. “He’ll be, um… he’ll be… vulnerable.”

That’s one way to put it. “Well, g-gotta go!” 

Shit. This is out of control.

Through the door, she can’t hear any more sounds of fighting. Something is going on.

That’s the last push she needs to start trying to get the door open again. She pulls out her phone, and even as the sounds of fighting resume (she thinks she hears a muffled _OHH YES_ at some point), her focus on typing is single-minded. It's a lucky thing that she downloaded CORE databases onto her phone, because as much as she dislikes trying to hack anything on such a tiny keyboard, this is the only way to open the door.

Her brain is running a million miles a minute, though. The last time her train of thought was so frantic was probably when her test subjects started melting. Every part not focused on opening the doors is wondering if she could have prevented this, what this means for her relationship with the human, and somewhere in the background, what it means for her future with Mettaton.

There's also the _slightly_ worrying fight happening on the other side of those annoying-ass doors.

What if Mettaton manages to kill them? The way he was talking about getting their soul before Asgore can makes her suspicious that this was his plan all along.

There’s also the fact that he’s vulnerable now. There’s no telling how long his battery will last, and if Frisk is pressured enough to break their pacifist streak… 

She was worried about them fighting Asgore to the death, and now she has to hear those fears play out with Mettaton.

The CORE has surprisingly lax security- something about ease of rearrangement code-wise as well as machinery-wise- and if she wasn't trying to use a mobile phone, this would have been a breeze. A task that would have been finished already if she was at her computer is taking ten damn minutes.

At some point, the crashes and shouting stop. She’s getting too close to devote attention to it. Seems like the fighting ended.

Hopefully it didn’t end with anyone dying or dusting.

There’s another stressful minute of wondering how it all ended, what’s going on, whether the winner is even still in the room. 

It’ll suck when this all hits her later- the hacking has kept the panic and the feelings of betrayal mostly at bay, but that’s almost done. The thought of how this will feel when she's thinking back over it in bed tonight is absolutely dreadful.

Alphys is in the middle of a command when the doors slide open. 

Apparently she succeeded? Huh. Weird timing, but she has no reason to look such a wonderful gift horse in the mouth.

“I… I managed to open the lock!” She glances at her phone again, still a little confused. “Are you two-”

Alphys properly walks into the room, and cuts off abruptly as she nearly stubs her toe on a hunk of metal.

Robotic limbs are scattered around the dimmed stage. There’s a single, severed leg sitting at her feet, wires still sparking at one end.

Frisk is standing silently over Mettaton EX’s dim, lifeless torso.

“Oh my god.” She has to take in the scene for a long moment. Frisk doesn’t provide any context, and Alphys doesn’t want to know.

Fear leaps into her throat and spurs her forward. She practically crashes to the ground in front of Mettaton, who _might be dead because of her_ , her hands too shaky to properly examine him.

“Mettaton!” His eyes are dim, and she doesn’t know why she’s talking to him, he’s obviously out of commission _at the very least_ \- “Mettaton, are you…”

It’s too hard to finish that sentence. She’s just starting to consider opening his back up ~~and checking for dust~~ when she notices the heart at his core, dimly glowing in the darkness of the room.

He’s alive. His magic is still anchored to this body. 

Alphys breathes a long sigh of relief. That only leaves one (considerably less terrifying) explanation for all of this.

“Thank _god_ , it’s just the batteries.” She sits back, the rest of the breath she was holding forcing itself out as a nervous chuckle. God, that was almost a nightmare come to life. “Mettaton, if you were gone, I would have... I would have…”

Alphys really doesn’t want to think about what she might have done if he’d really been dead- and she shouldn’t dwell on it, because Frisk is still standing right there.

“I m-mean, h-hey, it’s n-no problem, you know?” She forces a grin over her shoulder as she stands up, fiddling with her claws.

“He’s just a robot, if you messed it up, I c-could always…” The rest of the lie catches in the back of her throat for a second, guilt churning in her stomach as she glances back down at the scattered pieces of her friend’s body. “I could always j-just build another.”

Frisk still just stares at her.

Alphys can’t compose herself with them standing right there, and she _really_ needs to compose herself. She’s feeling too much right now to easily process any of it.

“Why don’t you just go on ahead?” She smiles shakily in their direction, then crouches back down in front of Mettaton.

A moment later, she feels a hand on her shoulder.

They don’t say anything, but the concern in their eyes is clear. Alphys tries to force a smile.

“I just… need a moment.” She can’t hold eye contact with them for more than another second.

They hesitate, then nod and head off through the doorway, light footsteps echoing on the metal floors. Even if they don’t trust her enough to talk to her anymore, at least they still worry about her.

The small relief doesn’t do much to calm the roiling in her gut. She looks down at Mettaton again, trying to take deep, calm breaths.

The panic is gone, but the pit in her stomach seems here to stay. That was way too close.

“I… I…” His dimmed eyes stare blankly past her. “I’ll be b-back in a second, okay?”

She scrambles to her feet and jogs through the doorway to catch up to Frisk.

* * *

They aren’t too far ahead, and she catches up just before they reach the elevator. They stop when they hear her footsteps approaching.

“S-sorry about that!” She stands a few meters behind them, shifting on her feet. “L-let’s keep going!”

The original plan starts to come back into mind. There’s still time for them to turn back.

They don’t, though. They keep walking, and Alphys trails behind.

“S-so, you’re about to meet Asgore, h-huh?” This is her last chance. “You must be… you must be…”

Frisk stops again, just as she finishes. “...p-pretty excited about all that, huh?”

Apparently that doesn't warrant a response either, because they keep moving. Her urgency becomes desperation. “You’ll f-f-finally… you’ll finally get to go home!”

No reaction. Now that their earlier concern for her is gone, she can practically feel the distrust radiating from their silence.

They reach the elevator, and make no attempt to turn back. The doors open, and they step forward- are they not even going to say goodbye?

“W-wait!” They turn back to her for the first time in this walk, and her determination wavers again under their glance. “I mean, um, I-”

She pauses for a second before finding a new rhythm.

“I was just going to, um…” They’re probably getting impatient. “Say goodbye, and…”

A long, long pause stretches between them, and that’s all it takes for desperate hope to shatter into a dose of cold, hard reality.

And Alphys realizes that this is it. They’re not her friend anymore. They’ll never be her friend again.

Was she _ever_ a true friend to them? Was Mettaton right? Was she just… manipulating them?

If that’s the case, there’s only one way to make it right.

“I can’t take this anymore.” She turns away, just so she doesn’t have to see their face as she finishes the destruction of trust that Mettaton started. “I…”

A heavy sigh releases the tension in her shoulders. Moment of truth. Literally.

“I lied to you.” Just saying those words takes a weight off- then adds another, different one, because she already knows the consequences of coming clean. “A human soul isn’t strong enough to cross the barrier alone.”

Alphys has never been more glad she can’t see their reaction.

“It takes at least a human soul…” The words almost stop on the tip of her tongue, but she has to force them out. For the wellbeing of this child. For any semblance of real friendship or honor. This time, lying is not an option. “And a monster soul.”

They don’t respond. She considers running away now and leaving them to reach the logical conclusion themself, but… no. Alphys has to follow through on _at least_ this one thing. She turns to face them again.

Still can’t bring herself to meet their eyes, though. Whatever. The floor is especially well-polished today, so it’s not unpleasant to stare at.

“If you want to go home,” and she’s pretty much muttering at the tiles, but at least she’s saying it, “You’ll have to take his soul.”

Alphys manages to meet their gaze, for just a second. “You’ll have to kill Asgore.”

They don’t react as dramatically as she feared, but their eyes do widen noticeably. It’s a stab to her soul, to know that she gave them such an unpleasant surprise, and she turns to leave. The last thing they need is for her to be clingy right now.

Something stops her just a few feet away. This isn't how she wanted to leave them. It's all wrong.

“I’m sorry.” She doesn’t even know if they’re still standing there. She might be apologizing to thin air.

Alphys runs away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately, between prep for fall semester and a vacation, updates will be closer to every 2-3 weeks for a little bit- sorry!
> 
> And right as we get to the interesting parts, too.


	21. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, what's done is done. Time to repair her friend, kill some time, and... get a surprise visitor?

Alphys hears the elevator doors close behind her, and can’t help but wonder what they’re thinking as they travel up, up, up to New Home.

_Probably glad to get past her and on with their life._

The level of failure today is still hard to wrap her head around. This somehow turned out worse than some of her more pessimistic predictions, which is a sad kind of impressive.

And it all settles a little heavier onto her shoulders when she walks back through the door to be reminded that _oh yeah, Mettaton’s been pretty neatly disassembled._

Just because this isn’t the worst possible outcome of the fight doesn’t make it the best. 

Mettaton is heavy. That isn’t a surprise, considering he’s made entirely of metal and Alphys has had to carry these parts around before, but it’s still unpleasant.

She gathers his torso first, then stacks his limbs precariously on top. The idea of making more than one trip is just the cherry on top of her embarrassment, so she balances the stack as best she can and starts the long trip back to her lab.

At least focusing on her balancing act and screaming muscles keeps her from focusing on all the spiraling she could be doing right now.

A few monsters in MTT Resort stare at her a little too hard for her liking as she walks through. She is carrying the dismembered remains of the hotel’s namesake, after all.

Laying the mess of limbs out on her workbench is embarrassingly difficult. She doesn’t feel right just _dropping_ him there, but she also can’t hold him much longer. Turning down Undyne’s last workout invitation was a bad idea, in hindsight.

All said and done, she’s tired. Tired in every possible way. Also, the lab is too quiet. Without any reason to watch the monitors, or write notes, or practice lines… there’s nothing else to do but deal with the issue at hand.

Alphys sits down at her workbench and looks at the mess sitting in front of her. It’s almost like she never finished Mettaton EX in the first place.

“Thought I could finally be d-done with you.” She chuckles.

The laughter trails off. The next breath is a sigh as she sits down and gets to work.

* * *

Alphys makes it an hour. Most of that hour is spent messing around, buffing out the scratches and fixing the paint job and doing every menial task she possibly can.

Mettaton still hasn’t rebooted. That’s because Alphys isn’t sure if charging him back up is the best idea right now. As shitty as she knows it is, what if he wakes up and immediately picks a fight with her, or worse, chases after Frisk again?

He also hasn’t left his body. The only logical conclusions to draw from that are that he’s either sulking or bound to this corporeal form.

Those possibilities are equally likely. Alphys almost hopes he’s corporeal- that means as long as she doesn’t plug him in, he won’t wake up.

There’s also a distant thrill at the thought that he finally found the key to binding with a body. The same little part of her that was so distressed to see him pulled apart on the floor is irrationally happy that she may have helped him towards that dream.

She focuses back on her work before that thrill can fade back into melancholy.

* * *

Alphys is about to give up on getting anything done. She’s rearranged the parts and tools on her desk seven or eight times now. She’s plugged Mettaton’s charger into the wall, ready for whenever she decides to reboot him. She’s buffed and painted and oiled every component back to a glistening shine.

Everything is ready for his repairs. The hard part is buckling down and repairing him. 

There isn’t much else to do, so the choice should be simple.

She gets up to make herself some coffee. The best decisions are the ones that get slightly postponed, right?

She’s halfway through adding just the _optimal_ pinch of sugar, when someone knocks on the door. She almost drops her coffee cup, coffee splashing dangerously close to her _clean, white_ labcoat. 

Alphys is halfway to the door when she notices the letter slide under it. 

“O-oh n-no, is that another letter?”

Can’t people take the hint that she is not up for correspondence? She got rid of her mail slot, and people are still trying to send her stuff!

“I don’t want to open it,” she mutters. She really, really doesn’t want to open it. “C-can’t I just slide it back out?”

Alphys thinks of the pile of letters gathering dust upstairs. This one isn’t addressed from any of the families, so it might not hurt _so_ bad to read it…

“N-no, I can’t keep doing this…” She sighs and turns it over in her hands. “I’ll read this one.”

She tries to tear it open with a claw. Keyword: tries. It just bends.

“Um.” She wonders if there’s still someone on the other side of the door, listening to her struggle. “I-it’s shut kind of strongly, isn’t it?”

It takes a good few tries to open the thing, by which point Alphys is seriously questioning whether the contents are worth the effort.

It's with a cautious, skeptical eye that she finally opens the letter.

_Hi Alphys,_

_I know sending a letter is weird, but someone told me I had to make a grand romantic gesture or whatever. So. Uh._

_Would you like to go on a date? With me?_

_Not sure how to conclude this BYE_

Her first thought is that this can’t be real, and she’s not in the mood for a sick prank right now. She unlocks the doors.

“Hey, if this is a joke, it’s-” 

Alphys’ sentence trails off as she realizes that the person at her door… is Frisk?


	22. Dating Start...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not how Alphys pictured her first date going.

“Oh my god?” Why is Frisk here? Shouldn’t they be fighting Asgore, or something? What’s going on?

Wait.

“Did _you_ write this letter?” Alphys can’t keep the surprise out of her tone. “It wasn’t signed, so I have no idea who could have…”

They open their mouth to respond, just as Alphys realizes that Frisk just asked her on a _date_. It’s just so… precious. 

“Oh my god. Oh no.” She grins. “That’s adorable.”

They start to say something again, but Alphys is just starting to feel the relief of getting to hang out with Frisk again in a relatively friendly capacity.

“And I h-had no idea you, um, wrote that way!” She had no idea whether they were even old enough to know how to write.

But that doesn’t change the fact that they’ve evidently decided to forgive her. For some reason.

“It’s surprising, too. After all the gross stuff I did…” She looks down. “I don’t really deserve to be forgiven.”

They try to speak again, but Alphys has learned her lesson about holding herself accountable, and she has to make this right. “Much less, um… this?”

She glances back down at the letter- _”Would you like to go on a date? With me?”_ To forgive her by asking her on a date… not something she would have imagined Frisk doing. They just don’t seem like the grand gesture kind of kid.

“And so... passionately, too.” They’ve apparently given up on interrupting her. She pauses. 

Alphys is obviously not gonna go on a real date with them. They’re a kid. Duh. The letter is cute, and she wants to humor them, to show them that she’s not only manipulative, but… uh. This isn’t how she imagined seeing them again would go at all.

Well, it’s probably better to go on a cute, platonic, mock-date with a well-meaning kid than to let the last chance at redeeming this friendship slip away.

“You know what, okay!” She smiles encouragingly at them. They look as unreadable as ever. “I’ll do it! It’s the least I can do to make it up to you!”

They smile a little, although Alphys can tell they still have something to say. She blushes. “Y-yeah! Let’s go on a date!”

They just stand there, and it occurs to her that standing here in the doorway of the lab in a sweaty labcoat isn’t a very good date.

She blushes. “Uh, sorry!” She gestures for them to stay put and dashes into the lab, calling back to them, “I’m still getting dressed!”

Figuring out what to wear is the easy part- the only non-labcoat clothing she owns is a single dress, and it’s certainly the only thing suitable for a “date”. 

Alphys had hoped to wear this on a real date, with… someone in particular. But she hasn’t used it yet, so she may as well now. She practically throws it onto herself and sprints her way back down to the doors. 

“H-how do I look?” Alphys brushes off the front of the dress, hoping that it isn’t too obvious that it’s just been sitting in her closet for months. “My friend helped me pick out this dress. She’s got a great sense of-” 

She cuts herself off before she can start rambling. It must be terribly obvious that she’s never been on a date, pretend or otherwise. “Um, anyway! Let’s do this thing!”

Their soul glows. It’s always been strange to her that dating triggers encounters, but she supposes there’s enough tension on dates that it makes sense.

Seeing your date’s soul is a bit romantic, honestly. But now, it’s nerve-racking. As cool as it is to see a human soul up close and personal, this is a really weird addition to an already weird day.

Shouldn’t there be more preparation? Shouldn’t she like… court them? Because even if this date fake, it can be practice for when she potentially hopefully goes on a real one. With someone in particular. 

“H-h-hey, w-w-wait!” She waves her hands in the air- maybe she can disperse the magic or something? “Actually, we still can’t start the date yet!”

They shrug. “Okay.” She blinks. She missed their deadpan, slightly perplexed voice. It's only been a few hours since she heard it, but so much has happened between then and now... it feels like it's been a lot longer.

“Umm, I’ve gotta give you items to raise your affection statistic, first!” At least, that’s how it works in most of the dating sims she plays. “That’ll increase the chance of a successful outcome to the date!”

Luckily, she’s been stockpiling items for this. Well. More like she’ll occasionally see something that looks like a date might like it, and she’ll impulse buy it Just In Case.

“Anyway, d-don’t worry! I’m prepared!” Alphys gestures for them to wait, again, and makes a break for her desk. Which drawer was it? Stationary, manga, notebooks… gifts! She gathers them in her arms and hurries back to Frisk. “I-I’ve been gathering items in preparation for a date like this!”

She glances down at her stash. “F-first, I’ve got…”

Alphys shift the pile to one hand and picks out an item with the other. “Some metal armor polish!”

She saw this one on a visit to New Home, and it immediately reminded her of… Undyne. Who has armor.

Which Frisk does not have.

“Um, maybe you can’t use that.” They shake their head, and she sets it down behind her, blushing.

This isn’t doing a very good job increasing her dating power so far. She grabs another item. 

“But!” She checks the label. “I also brought some waterproofing cream for your scales!”

Another essential for any aquatic monster. Water under scales is incredibly uncomfortable, and now Frisk won’t ever have to-

Clean the scales they _don’t possess_. They’re a human with weird, smooth skin. Shit. This definitely wasn’t bought with them in mind.

“Your, uh… scales.” Alphys sets that one down next to the armor polish. “Uh, well, how about…”

The final item. “This magical spear repair kit, that I…” That she bought with a very particular spear-wielder in mind. “Um.”

This is pointless. They’re looking very knowingly at her. She sighs. “Hey, let’s forget about the items.” She sets the repair kit down with the others and nudges them into the lab with a swish of her tail. The doors _woosh_ shut.

“Let’s just start the date!” They still have that very knowing look, but they nod. She grins shakily. The encounter starts again.

And they stand there. Alphys stands there across from them. She clears her throat. “Yeah! Let’s, uh, date!” 

They look down at the dirt. Alphys starts to notice how hot it is out here.

“Uh.” They look up again. She frantically searches for a way to break the awkwardness. “Do you… like… anime?”

They nod. That’s nice. Maybe there’s still a chance of introducing them to Mew Mew. “H-hey! Me too!” 

She blushes. They definitely knew that already. She desperately searches for another topic. What do people talk about on dates? 

Alphys’ favorite romance sims feature many kinds of dates, and one thing that they all have in common is that the datees don’t just stand outside a building.

“Hey! Let’s! Go somewhere!” They look intrigued. Alphys racks her brain. “But what’s a good place to go on a date?”

New Home is out, just in case the Royal Guard there is still looking for Frisk. The only other place Alphys can come up with right now is the dump.

And that’s not such a bad idea.

“I’ve got it!” She’s pretty sure they haven’t been shown around or taught how to find the treasures in the trash yet. “Let’s go to the garbage dump!”

* * *

The trip isn’t too long. Alphys surprised at how well they seem to know the area. She barely has to lead them to Waterfall. It’s probably because they had to trek back and forth through here a couple times. She wonders if it’s strange for them to retrace their steps after getting so far.

Eventually, they reach the familiar sight (and smell) of the Waterfall garbage dump. She leads them to a clearing between a few of the biggest piles. Alphys stands next to a trash can and faces them. “Here we are!”

They look around, then look at her curiously. “Do you hang out here a lot?” The question catches her off guard. This is, what, the second thing they’ve said so far today?

It’s actually nice. They’re warming up to her again, apparently. She smiles.

“This is where Undyne and I come all the time.” It may not look like much, but it can be a treasure trove if you know what to search for. “We find all sorts of great stuff here.”

She and Undyne haven’t hung out here since before Frisk fell. Hell, she’s barely talked to Undyne since then. It’s all been such a whirlwind… and being here is making her think about how nice it’ll be to spend an afternoon with her again.

She can hear someone else walking around the dump, and can almost imagine that’s Undyne coming to hang out with her.

“Heh, she’s really…” A silhouette appears between two piles of trash. Tall, with a long ponytail, and... “Uh. Oh no.”

That _is_ Undyne. Alphys really is not prepared to see Undyne. And Alphys is currently in a nice dress, hanging out in the dump with Frisk. Shit. “That’s her over there. I c-can’t let her see me on a, uh, ‘date’ with you!”

“Why not?” They cock their head to the side, the picture of childish innocence, and Alphys can’t help but feel that they’re up to something. 

“Why? Uh. Because, uh, well…” The footsteps draw closer and Alphys wrings her hands nervously. “Oh no, here she comes!”

Alphys has no time to think, so she goes with her first instinct and dives behind the nearest trash can before Undyne can see her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Date part one is complete! I'm gonna be honest, I'm not the biggest fan of the dating segments. Being established as a child and being able to flirt with adult monsters who know you're a kid? Odd. So if anyone noticed that I made some small dialogue changes, it's mostly to tone that down and make it a completely platonic fake-date.


	23. Dating Tense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suddenly, the fake date is a real conversation. Where did that come from?

From her hiding spot, Alphys can hear Undyne’s footsteps stop in front of Frisk. “Hey! There you are!” She sounds relieved.

Alphys is relieved just to hear her voice. But. Uh. That’s neither here nor there.

“I, uh, realized, if you deliver that thing… It might be a bad idea.” Undyne sounds very urgent. Alphys wonders what “thing” she could mean. “So I’m gonna do it! Give it back to me!”

Whatever it is, it must be really important. She hasn’t heard Undyne this stressed since she was hunting Frisk down.

Frisk pipes up. “Sorry. I don’t have it anymore.”

“Huh?! You don’t have it?” She can practically hear Undyne start to freak out. “Ngaaaaah!”

Alphys is close to worrying that Undyne is about to attack them or something when she hears the captain take a deep breath before continuing. “Have you at least seen her?”

Her? Who is Undyne talking about?

“Yeah.” Frisk responds.

“Yes? So she’s around her somewhere?” A pause. “Thanks, I’ll keep looking.”

Undyne’s footsteps recede, and Alphys breathes a long sigh of relief before peaking out from behind the trash can.

“Oh my god…” She looks both ways to make sure Undyne’s really, really gone, and meets Frisk’s concerningly knowing gaze. They’re too perceptive to play dumb with, aren’t they?

“Well, I guess it’s obvious, huh? I, uh, really like her.” Alphys fiddles with her claws, blushing. They keep looking at her the same way, and she wonders if maybe she said that wrong. 

“I mean, more than I like other people!” She blurts, blush growing.

And then realizes that she’s supposed to be taking them on a cute little date. Ugh. She really has to clear this up before she loses the chance to be their friend again.

“I’m sorry. I j-just figured, y-you know…” Frisk is nothing if not patient, and they wait for her to get the rest of her sentence out. Alphys is so grateful that the first human she’s met is so nice. “It’d be f-fun to go on like, a cute, kind of…” 

“Pretend date with you?” She touches her face sheepishly. “T-to make you feel better?”

They keep just looking at her, and she hopes desperately that she isn’t offending them or something.

“Well, it sounds even worse when I put it like that.” Alphys knows she needs to tell them the truth now. They need to see that she cares for them beneath all the… manipulation. As harsh as that word still sounds. 

“I’m sorry. I messed up.” The nice thing about Frisk is that they’re always so open to listening to her rambling. Alphys has to imagine that anyone else would have told her to get to the point already. 

Oh. Speaking of the point.

“Undyne’s the person I, um, really want to go on a date with.” They’re nice enough not to laugh at that. “But, I mean, she’s way out of my league.”

They stay quiet. 

“N-not that you aren’t, um, cool!” Sweat drips down her forehead. “B-but, Undyne. She’s so confident, and strong, and funny, and I’m just a _nobody._ ”

They look more concerned than anything now. Alphys really should have known better than to open the floodgates so early into repairing this relationship, but she can’t help it. Thinking about how awesome Undyne is has a funny way of making her think about how horrible she is in comparison.

“I’m a fraud. I mean, I’m the royal scientist, but…” She takes a deep breath. “All I’ve ever done is hurt people. I’ve told her so many lies, she thinks I’m… she thinks I’m a lot cooler than I actually am.”

And why would someone as earnest as Undyne want anything to do with Alphys one the truth comes out? What’ll keep her from running for the hills?

“If she gets close to me, she’ll find out the truth about me.” She realizes that her gaze migrated to the ground at some point. She looks back up at Frisk.

“What should I do?” She asks, before immediately feeling stupid. Asking a kid for relationship advice? _Really, Alphys?_

“You should tell her the truth.” Frisk’s voice is earnest. Alphys blinks, and almost considers following their advice.

Then promptly remembers exactly what telling the truth would entail telling Undyne about.

“The truth?” They nod. “But if I tell her that, she’ll _hate_ me!” Alphys’ hands go to her face. She glances behind Frisk, just to make sure her brief volume increase didn’t catch Undyne’s attention. 

She takes a deep breath. Lowers her hands. Lowers her voice. “Isn’t it better this way?”

They open their mouth, probably to object, but Alphys has to make them understand. 

“Isn't it better to live a lie where both people are happy,” She proposes, “Than a truth where neither of us are?”

This isn’t as simple as saying “sorry that I told you the seaweed was a protected species and that anime is real.” To tell the truth here would be to completely change Undyne’s perception of her.

And Undyne’s perception of her is perfect the way it is right now. Better to stay this way than to risk everything being destroyed.

“They say, ‘be yourself’.” Alphys smiles sardonically. “But I don’t really like who ‘myself’ is.”

And she certainly doesn’t think Undyne would like it very much either. 

“I’d rather just be whatever makes people like me.” They nod. They know from firsthand experience how badly Alphys wants to be _like_.

“Ehehehe…” The smile dissolves into a frown as she registers their expression. They’re normally so subtle, but now their face is visibly disappointed. Normally, disappointment is no problem for her. Hell, the list of people who are disappointed in her seems to grow every day.

But she’s supposed to be fixing their perception of her. They’re a kid who thinks honesty and determination are the solution to every problem, and it’s worked for them so far.

Alphys can’t borrow their worldview, but she can certainly _try_.

“No, you’re right.” She watches them perk up. “Everyday, I’m scared. Scared what will happen if people learn the truth on their own.”

“They’ll all get hurt because of me.” And those aren’t even the people she cares about. Namely one person, but whatever. “But how can I tell Undyne the tr-truth?”

Even if telling the truth is somehow the magical solution to all her problems, anime style, getting up the courage to tell Undyne everything is a whole other obstacle. One that looks insurmountable from where Alphys is standing.

“I d-don’t have the confidence. I’m going to mess it up!” And it’s not like this is the kind of thing she can make up a script for. “How can I practice?!”

Frisk cocks their head to the side, seemingly in thought. Alphys figures they’ve done enough waiting for her on this “date”, so she lets them ruminate.

A second later, a lightbulb goes off in their expression. “Let’s roleplay it.”

Alphys starts to chuckle at the unexpected joke before realizing that they sound serious. They look serious, too. 

“R-roleplay?” Although she could waste time thinking about where they learned the term “roleplay” or hoping that they don’t know the more R-rated connotations, she’d rather just take this opportunity.

“That actually sounds kind of fun!” This is manageable. Or, well, it will be once roles are delegated and everything. Alphys knows how to make a roleplay official.

“Okay, which one of us will be Undyne?”

They only need a second to consider this time. “I’ll be Undyne.” 

Of course. She needs to practice talking to Undyne- why would she pretend to be Undyne? “Oh. Right. Obviously. Heh.”

She Time to get into roleplay mode. This is Serious Business, after all.

“Ahem.” She smiles at Frisk, imagines she’s talking to a taller, fishier person in their stead. “H-hi Undyne… h-how are you doing today?”

They’re smiling too. “I’m fine.” It lacks Undyne’s rampant enthusiasm, but it’s not a horrible impression. Now, how to segue into her point?

“Ha! Ha! Glad to hear it!” The sweat creeps in. “Uh, so I’d like to, um, talk to you about something.”

“What is it, Alphys?” She imagines that adorable concerned face Undyne does, the way her tone always holds an edge of “I’ll beat up whoever made my friends feel bad.” Her blush deepens.

“Um, you see, I…” She stumbles. See, she can’t just walk up to Real Undyne and start listing off the things she’s lied about. She has no _idea_ how to start. “I… I-”

Frisk’s smile turns encouraging, and a wave of determination (though not the human kind, unfortunately) washes over her. Alphys has to do this.

“I h-haven’t been exactly truthful w-w-with you.” She imagines must look utterly terrified. She certainly _feels_ terrified. “Y-you see, I-”

This isn’t enough. She’s stalling, even now, and for the first time in this entire damn conversation, it frustrates her to no end. This is her chance to tell the truth, and she can’t blow it!

“Oh, forget it!” Undyne appreciates passion, after all. She seems like the type who’d want a dramatic confession, right? “Undyne! I want to tell you how I feel!”

She can practically see Undyne in Frisk’s place, as beautiful and earnest as ever. 

“Y-you’re so brave, a-and s-strong, a-and nice.” Alphys smiles. It’s easy to gush about all the reasons she likes Undyne. After all, there are many, many reasons. Talking about the captain is much easier than talking about herself. “Y-you always listen t-to me when I talk about n-n-nerdy stuff.”

“Y-you always d-d-do your best to m-make me f-f-feel special,” And even that doesn’t feel adequate to describe how strong Undyne makes her feel, “L-like t-telling me that y-you’ll b-beat up anyone that g-gets in my way.”

Passion bubbles over. Alphys is _feeling_ so many _things_ , and they’re all fighting to come out at the same time-

“UNDYNE!” Screw the hiding, Alphys wants Undyne to know _everything_! “I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANY LONGER! I’M MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU!”

Now that that’s off her chest, all of her myriad desires, appropriate and inappropriate, are fighting for attention. “HOLD ME, UNDYNE! HOLD ME!”

Alphys feels relief and freedom and confidence. She can do this, she can tell Undyne everything. Why has she been hiding for so long, again? What was she even afraid of?

“ _What_ did you just say?” A very, very familiar voice interrupts her thoughts, and Alphys jumps around to face…

Undyne.

Right. That’s what she was afraid of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have most of the final chapters partially written, so updates should become more frequent now. Hopefully at least lol


	24. Owning Up (to Some of It)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It looks like Alphys is going to talk to Undyne today whether she likes it or not.

“U… Undyne!” Alphys has never seen Undyne so purely bewildered before. As for Alphys, she just wants to crawl under one of the piles of trash and hide. “I… was… just…”

“Hey, woah, wait a second!” The shock is gone from Undyne’s face. Alphys doesn’t know whether or not that’s a good thing. “Your outfit’s really cute! What’s the occasion?”

Oh no. Alphys can see the gears in Undyne’s head turning as she stares at Alphys, then the human.

“Wait a second.” Undyne’s stare is fixed on them. “Are you two… on a date?”

This is not good. This is, in fact, bad. Alphys cuts in to take the heat off of Frisk. “UHHH, YES!

“I mean, UHHH, NO!” Alphys rambles, watching Undyne’s expression flick from fury to confusion to a new, disbelieving kind of fury. “I mean, we were, but- I mean, we were only romantically roleplaying as you!”

Alphys forcibly shuts her mouth after that, because holy shit, this is a nightmare that her panicked ramblings can only exacerbate. 

“WHAT?” Undyne sounds equal parts bewildered and enraged. Alphys wouldn’t want to be in her shoes right now.

She looks down. Now she _has_ to clarify. “I MEAN!” It comes out way too loud, and she blushes furiously, “I mean…”

Frisk’s voice a few minutes ago echoes in her head. _“You should tell her the truth.”_ It manages to overpower the chorus of dread and embarrassment.

And Alphys knows they’re right. “Undyne, I…”

She forces herself to look Undyne in the eye, and blurts before she can lose this sudden determination, “I’ve been lying to you!”

Undyne’s face goes from confused anger to slightly angry confusion. “What? About what?”

“About… well…” Doubt starts to flood in, but she forces herself to maintain eye contact. “Everything!" Undyne still looks confused, so Alphys tentatively steps closer. “I told you that seaweed was like… scientifically important. But really, I just… I just use it to make ice cream!”

Undyne’s not looking at her anymore. Alphys keeps talking. “And those human history books I keep reading… those are just dorky comic books!” 

That one hurts to admit. Undyne barely reacts, just staring in perplexion at Frisk. “And the history movies. Those…” Dread tries to take over as she reaches the bigger ones. “Those are just, uh, anime! They aren’t real!” 

Undyne finally reacts, looking sideways at Alphys in what looks like shock. Alphys resists her instinct to run back to the relative safety of her lab and steps a bit closer, eyes pleading Undyne for understanding.

Alphys is almost touching Undyne now, she’s so close. Undyne towers over her. Alphys wonders what she’s thinking.

“And that time I told you I was busy with work on the phone,” she blushes, “I was just eating frozen yogurt in my pajamas!”

Undyne’s expression softens. Alphys continues. “That time I-”

“Alphys.” Undyne doesn’t sound furious. She doesn’t sound betrayed. She sounds gentle, and patient, and maybe a little sad. Alphys can’t meet her eyes anymore.

“I… I just wanted to impress you.” Something blocks Alphys’ throat for a moment. “I just wanted you to think I was smart and cool. That I wasn’t some… nerdy loser.”

“Alphys.” Undyne bends down a bit, and Alphys can feel a hand on her scales.

It’s fortifying. Alphys puts her arm around Undyne’s waist in return. Hopefully Frisk doesn’t mind some minor PDA, she thinks guiltily.

“Undyne, I really think you’re neat, okay…” Suddenly Undyne’s hugging her. 

“Alphys.” There’s a hand on her back, rubbing comfortingly back and forth. “Shhhhh.”

Undyne is surprisingly good at being comforting. There’s more that Alphys wants to say, but… maybe it can wait. “Shhhh.”

Alphys just wants to savor this moment-

And suddenly, she feels the arms around her tighten. Her feet leaves the ground as Undyne straightens, lifting her up. She stares, eyes wide. Undyne pats her on the back, and then, in a single, smooth motion, Alphys is being sent flying. She lets out an embarrassing little squeak as she sails right into the trash can with a resounding _crash_.

Alphys is still in shock when she hears Undyne’s voice. “Alphys!” There’s no gentleness left, and Alphys’ mind wanders inappropriately to those awesome muscles- capable of _throwing her_ , holy shit, there has to be some utility for that in the bedroom-

Oh. Oh no. Not while she’s sitting in a trash can, a child only a few feet away. Begone, Satan.

Undyne’s voice continues, utterly oblivious. “I… think you’re neat too, I guess.”

Not quite as enthusiastic as she would have hoped, but it’s _something_. Undyne apparently isn’t done, though.

“But, you’ve gotta realize…” Her tone still retains some of that compassion, but it’s back to its usual fire. “Most of what you said doesn’t really matter to me.”

First, Alphys is a bit offended. She had to muster up so much _courage_ to say that. Then she’s worried. Does this mean that Undyne’s not willing to accept her apology?

“I don’t care if you’re watching kid cartoons or reading history books!” Undyne’s voice raises. “To me, ALL of that stuff is just NERDY CRAP!”

Alphys just listens, awestruck, as Undyne’s voice raises once more. “What I like about you is that you’re PASSIONATE! You’re ANALYTICAL!”

Alphys blushes. Undyne thinks she’s _passionate_. Undyne, one of the most passionate people out there, admires _Alphys’_ passion.

The slight offense at having her hobbies called “nerdy crap” melts. 

“It doesn’t matter what it is!” Alphys can practically hear that beautiful, fierce smile in Undyne’s voice. It almost lets her forget that she’s sitting in a trash can, getting yelled at. “100-PERCENT! AT MAXIMUM POWER!”

Undyne’s voice becomes gentler once more. “So, you don’t have to lie to me. I don’t want you to have to lie to anyone anymore.”

Alphys feels a pang of regret at that. As much as she’d love to stop lying for Undyne’s sake (and her own), her other lies just have too much at stake.

“Alphys, I want to help you become happy with who you are!” The sentiment is nice, but Alphys is scared of it. Scared that Undyne won’t be able to fix her. Scared that she’ll lost interest and move on. “And I know just the training you need to do that!”

Fear becomes affection. Of course that’s what Undyne meant. Undyne thinks she can fix everything with a few laps, and hey, if it mean spending extra time with her, Alphys can suck it up for the duration of a jog.

She’s about to speak when she realizes she’s still curled in the damn trash can. She pushes her head out. “Undyne… you…” She blushes- hell, she can practically feel hearts flash in her eyes. “Y-you’re gonna train me?”

“Pfft, what? ME?” Oh. What? If not Undyne, then who-

Alphys can hear the trash shuffling around behind her. A shadow falls over the dump.

“Nah, I’m gonna get Papyrus to do it.”

Alphys’ eyes roll of their own accord. Like she’s gonna go all the way to Snowdin to go work out with Papyrus.

Suddenly, the skeleton himself is in front of her, basketball shorts donned and crop-top resplendent with the word “JOGBOY”.

Oh no. 

“GET THOSE BONES SHAKIN’!” His energy isn’t contagious, per se, but it’s enough to make her feel a little less strange about the whole situation. “IT’S TIME TO JOG 100 LAPS, HOOTING ABOUT HOW GREAT WE ARE!”

Yeah. Alphys has done stranger things than a motivational workout with a skeleton.

It does feel weird to leave Undyne and Frisk after that conversation, though. She’s about to say something more when Undyne butts in. “Ready? I’m about to start the timer!”

“U-Undyne…” Suddenly, Alphys has a weird, unpleasant feeling that this is Undyne’s way of getting rid of her. All of those old voices are crawling back, and none of them have anything good to say.

_See? This is what happens when you tell the truth._

_She’s never going to talk to you again._

_Frisk set you up. Why would they ever really forgive you, anyway?_

She shoves them aside. Not now. Undyne said she finds Alphys neat! This is just… a weird training exercise from the joint minds of Papyrus and Undyne!

Undyne just smiles tightly as Alphys follows Papyrus out of the dump.

He’s fast. Even once the trash can is shed, Alphys isn’t exactly a fitness buff or anything. She has a feeling he’s slowing down for her sake, too. Papyrus is even yelling in front of her as he runs. She tunes it out in favor of a more important issue.

She just told Undyne the truth. It doesn’t feel real. She’d hoped that at the very least, telling the truth would get her a serious conversation with Undyne. Not… not being thrown around in the trash and then sent off to train with her friend.

Alphys doesn’t even notice herself slowing down until she’s stopped completely. She just can’t… can’t yell about how great she is like Papyrus right now. Not when she feels exactly the opposite of great.

“DR. ALPHYS!” His nasal voice gets her to look up. “THIS IS A MOTIVATIONAL JOG, AND YOU DON’T SEEM TO BE JOGGING!”

She sighs. “L-listen, Papyrus... I d-don’t th-think I can do this. N-not right now.”

Alphys hates how her voice shakes. Her arms cross tightly over her chest. 

“NONSENSE!” He flashes her his perpetual grin and poses, one hand on his hip and the other pointed upwards. “THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS NEVER LET A STUDENT FALL BEHIND!”

“N-no, Papyrus, I-” Her vision is suddenly swimming. This is the worst time for a breakdown. “I just want to g-go home. P-please.”

Alphys watches the gears turn in his head.

“ALRIGHT. WE WILL FINISH THIS ANOTHER TIME.” He can’t frown, considering he’s made of bone, but his eyes somehow look concerned.

“Thanks, P-Papyrus.” She turns to leave. He just stands there, watching her strangely as she goes.

* * *

The lab is just as utterly silent as it was when she left it. Mettaton still hasn’t been plugged in, after all.

Alphys walks down the hall. The impending breakdown is ebbing a bit now that she’s alone. She feels embarrassed more than anything.

She practically throws herself into her desk chair, indulging in a Mettaton-dramatic sigh. She’s about to bury her head in her hands when she notices a piece of paper on the top of the pile that wasn’t there when she left.

There’s a message, written in strange, hard-to-read scrawl. Alphys has to squint at it for a moment through her slightly fogged glasses before she manages to comprehend the words.

_**I KNOW WHAT YOU DID** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eef oof it's picking up now


	25. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Facing the truth is nice on paper... but where to start?

The first thing Alphys does is crumple up the note and throw it into the trash. The second thing she does is press her hands to her snout and scream into her palms.

Why did everything have to come crashing down _today?_ Whoever wrote this note might want to mess with her, sure, but couldn't they have waited until _after_ Alphys figured out this thing with Undyne?

Today is a day for facing her mistakes, apparently. First with Frisk, then with Undyne, and now with… well. The only thing this mystery monster could know about that would warrant a dramatic warning-note-thing is the Lower Lab. The amalgamates.

She wonders who knows. It can't be Asgore or Undyne, because this doesn't match either of their handwritings. It can't be Mettaton, because he's powered off on her bench. Is it one of the families? 

Alphys gets up from her desk. She has options. She _has_ to have options.

Does she, though? She has no idea who wrote this, so she can't write back begging them to _please please please keep quiet_. If they tell Asgore before she can get her side of the story out, she is screwed. No doubt about it.

There are only two possible paths that she can see. One one hand, she could sit at her desk and wait for it all to finish coming down around her. Hole up, the way she always has. On the other, she could go down there, feed the amalgamates, and then… deal with them.

Alphys doesn't know whether that means calling their families or putting them out of their misery.

The first choice is at least certain in its disastrousness. She knows that if she waits it out, she _will_ get fired, and she _will_ lose all credibility, and she might also get thrown in jail or something.

The second choice is an enormous, uncertain question mark. She used up a lot of her courage owning up to Undyne today… she's not sure if she can muster anymore to do what'll need to be done down there.

Yet again, Alphys hears a phantom of Frisk's voice, almost as though they're right there. The way they told her to tell the truth earlier, with all their conviction, like everything was really that simple to them in that moment…

Alphys wishes she could have their surety. They've barely faltered in their journey through the Underground. She knows they owe a lot of it to their innate determination, but their gentle, unwavering honesty seems to stem from somewhere else.

It's not quite as easy for Alphys, but she can try, at least. For Frisk and all of their support and forgiveness. For Undyne, and… well, pretty much everything about her- but especially her determination to make Alphys feel better about herself. Hell, even for Papyrus and his blundering, earnest friendship.

Alphys gets up and turns her back on the note. Her first instinct is to head straight for the Lower Lab…

But she has no idea what could happen down there. How… final… this could end up being for her.

She can feel her stomach start to twist. If she comes close to how she felt that day at the waterfall… She should tie up some loose ends.

The first thing she does is head for her workbench. Seeing Mettaton sends a good old fashioned shot of anger-sorrow-remorse-betrayal back into her system. His final show was only hours ago, but it feels like it's been days.

She regards him for a second. Tries to think of something profound to say or write.

Alphys doesn't know what she would say to him. Hell, she barely knows _him_ anymore. They've both changed since that nebulous long-ago where she was a tinkerer with dreams of a royal title and he was a ghost with dreams of a spotlight. He doesn't seem to particularly like her anymore. She can't say her opinion of him is the highest at the moment either.

There's no point trying to force a moment here. Alphys plugs him in and heads back to her desk.

Something still feels unfinished. Her claws tap on the wood. For a moment, her clarity and determination falter. 

She needs to leave something. In case someone comes looking for her. She practically tears a piece of paper from her desk and writes.

* * *

_Hey._

_Thanks for your help back there. You guys… your support really means a lot to me. But… As difficult as it to say this… You guys alone can't magically make my problems go away._

* * *

It doesn't flow out onto the paper so much as it spills, in handwriting almost as jagged and messy as the note in her trash can. Alphys doesn't bother with a proofread when it's done, because god knows whoever comes looking for her deserves unfiltered honesty.

She sets the note down as gingerly as she can with her shaking claws. She glances around her lab one (hopefully not last) time. 

Alphys steps into the elevator. The doors close on the Upper Lab, and she descends into the darkness.

The elevator shudders a bit on the way down. Alphys wonders if she's ever going to be able to get this place fixed up. Whether it even matters anymore.

It's messy down there. Hell, there are still notes on the floor reminding her where the keys to the generator room are. This place has fallen into disrepair in less than a year, but at least now it's a suitably spooky home for the amalgamates.

Alphys stands in the lobby, suddenly completely overwhelmed by the magnitude of her task. Figuring out what to do down here, once and for all… where is she even supposed to start?

* * *

_I want to be a better person. I don't want to be afraid anymore. And for that to happen, I have to be able to face my own mistakes. I'm going to start doing that now. I want to be clear. This isn't anyone else's problem but mine._

* * *

Alphys wanders a little bit aimlessly. It's hard to choose one mistake to face first when she's literally surrounded by mistakes.

The amalgams are quiet today. It's like they know something's not right.

It's when she swears she sees a flash of yellow out of the corner of her eye that she shakes herself and heads for the flower room. The flowers are the easiest, considering it's not like her flower experiments hurt anyone.

They're eerie down here. Pretty and golden despite not having seen sunlight in months, shifting softly in the breeze she makes as she walks past.

Face up to her mistakes.' That's the thing, though. She's so used to deliberately _not_ thinking about those weeks of experiments that it's weird to force herself to own them. God, how many hours of her life did she spend just agonizing over _flowers?_

It's too much. Alphys moves on. She needs to start thinking about the real task here. All the attempted self-improvement in the world means nothing if she can't actually deal with her shit.

* * *

_But if you don't ever hear from me again… if you want to know "the truth". Enter the door to the north of this note._

Frisk sets down the note. They don't know what they can do that Undyne and Papyrus couldn't... but they should try. The elevator doors open for them, and they follow Alphys down.

* * *

Alphys is in the freezer room getting food for the amalgamates (and _definitely_ not procrastinating on the whole 'owning up' thing). The whole basement shakes, the lights flash-

And the basement is plunged fully into darkness.

For a moment, as Alphys stumbles to regain her footing, all she can see is the green glow of a monitor next to her. She's straightening her glasses on her face when the dim glow of the emergency backup lighting flicks on. It's not much, but it's something to go by as she tries to figure out what happened. 

This day just keeps getting worse.

* * *

Frisk picks themself up and blinks into the darkness. They aren't scared of the dark (they grew out of that _ages_ ago), but there's something very strange going on down here.

Alphys' letter left them with questions, and they are happy to brave the dark if it means learning what happened here. Who knows- maybe it'll bring them closer to a good ending.

_You all at least deserve to know what I did._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my outline gets longer with every chapter i write, so i'm getting rid of the final chapter count until i have a better idea of it lol. somewhere between 27 and 30 is my current rough estimate, so we are getting near the end (wild)


	26. revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone is down here with her. Luckily, they seem more focused on fixing her generator than exposing her crimes to the world.

By the time Alphys reaches the sliding doors to the generator room, the red key has already been inserted. Someone is down here with her.

She suspected as much. Only an elevator failing could have made that kind of crash, and although she didn’t expect it to happen so quickly, she knew someone would come check up on her eventually. 

Of course, Alphys has no idea who’s down here with her, or where they are right now. In the dim lights, that’s spooky to say the least. 

The darkness down here has always seemed to have eyes (even before the amalgams, somehow) and lingering in the hallway when her visitor could be literally anywhere gives her the creeps. She stops lingering in the doorway and heads for the elevator that most likely crashed.

It’s when she’s standing in front of the darkened elevator, looking at the (surprisingly minimal) damage that she realizes that if someone's down here with her, they're also down here with the amalgamates.

And that means that it’s too late to own up to things on her own time, too late to keep the amalgamates contained until the right moment. Depending on who followed her… it might even be too late to salvage Undyne’s respect for her (and maybe that shouldn't be her biggest priority right now, but since when have her priorities been in the right order?).

If her mystery visitor found the red key, there’s almost no doubt they’ve already come across someone. Probably the Memoryheads, considering they’re by far the most curious amalgamates.

Alphys doesn't really want to think about how they would have reacted to a new person. They stopped their "join the fun" routine with her months ago, but they might try it with someone they've never seen before. 

And that's not even starting on the other amalgamates. Endogeny doesn't know the difference between playing with someone and outright attacking them, and Reaper Bird has a tendency to sneak up on people who get near them. Then there's Lemon Bread, who's by far the most aggressive. The only amalgam Alphys knows isn't going to hurt anyone is Snowdrake- but depending on who's down here, Alphys is worried that Snowdrake could be the one to get hurt.

She realizes with a sigh that she's still staring into space in front of the elevator. There's just so _much_ to think about right now, because there's someone down here in her decrepit haunted-basement-lab and she's running out of time to save her reputation and livelihood and-

_Deep breath, Alphys._ Panic doesn't help anyone. Calmer minds need to prevail. She starts walking back up into the lobby of the lab.

With any luck, once the power is back, she’ll be able to intercept her visitor before they leave and make a bid for their help. If she can just keep them from spilling everything to Asgore or the families until she’s ready to do it on her own terms, this could be a good thing. Yeah. She just needs to stay calm.

Of course, they could also be whoever left her that threatening note, in which case she is completely screwed. They could have just followed her down here to finish destroying her-

Ugh. 'Not panicking' is turning out to be pretty hard.

As she thinks, there’s a soft buzz next to her. Alphys turns around to find the yellow light glowing alongside the red. Her trespasser is at the yellow terminal.

As far as she remembers, the green terminal was through the fridge room. The blue terminal’s in the room where she keeps the flowers. The yellow terminal is the one near the DT extractor. They must be moving fast if they've gotten that far.

As she heads vaguely in that direction, she takes stock of where she last saw the amalgamates. The Memoryheads move all over the place, but Reaper Bird definitely spends most of their time in the flower room. Endogeny likes to mess with the fans, but those are off right now, so they could be somewhere else. Someone (she’s pretty sure it was Lemon Bread, but she could be wrong) was camouflaged in plain sight as some kind of star-thingy. Not what Alphys would choose if she wanted to hide, but whatever.

Snowdrake never leaves the cold room. That’s easy.

Alphys rounds the corner into the bedroom. If they’ve been through to the DT Extractor, they probably would have run into Lemon Bread already. They might have come across Reaper Bird already as well, depending on how circuitous their route was.

In the end, she heads for the flower room. Maybe, while her visitor looks for the green key, she can get a start on the blue one. 

The dimness makes the walls look even dirtier than usual. Alphys knows this place like the back of her hand, knows that nothing down here would hurt her. But she still finds herself glancing over her shoulder every few seconds. This is like the most stressful game of hide and seek she's ever played.

The flowers bring a spot of color to the darkness. She finds Reaper Bird hanging from the ceiling in their usual spot by the mirrors, unusually still. Before she can say anything, they whisper something in layered voices. It’s only because she’s had practice that she can decipher it.

_Robbit, robbit._

_Finally, someone gets it._

_There’s still hope._

Huh. Much calmer than usual. Alphys passes under them and heads for the terminal. Her note is lying on the ground, almost exactly where she left it. It’s smudged, but she can just make out the word “cold”. Damnit. So this is the key that ended up with the fridges. If she heads that way now, there’s almost no way she won’t run into her visitor. 

Suddenly, the ceiling vibrates above her. She can hear the telltale rattling of old ventilation. The fans must have booted back up.

The mystery person is definitely trying to clear up and search the cold room, then. They might even have the green key already. If Alphys wants to beat them to the blue one, she has to hurry.

It only takes a second to decide. Maybe Alphys’ rational science brain isn’t at full capacity right now, because she heads right for the cold room.

Heading past the extractor, she takes note of Lemon Bread's absence. Actually, no one comes to bother her on her trip, which is downright unusual. She doesn't pay it much thought as she hurries her way to the fridge room.

As soon as she gets there and hears talking, she knows she’s too late. Whoever it is, they’ve found Snowdrake (and maybe the key).

She does what any suave, professional royal scientist would do and hides behind a fridge to watch.

It’s Frisk down here with her. That much is immediately clear. And why didn’t she guess it earlier? Who else has the sheer tenacity to not only follow her down here but try and reboot her damn generator?

This kid fascinates her, and she’s sure that as soon as this is all over they’re going to have to endure her seriously geeking out about it.

Seeing them also assuages her worry for Snowdrake. They haven’t hurt anyone yet, and she can’t see them starting now. 

Alphys can just barely make out their conversation. Frisk is quiet, Snowdrake even more so.

They dodge a single, barely swirling whorl of snow. Snowdrake doesn’t try to attack again.

“Uh. Where does a snowman keep his money?” They pause, and Alphys takes a second to wonder what’s going on. “A _snow bank_.”

Snowdrake’s eye-mouths curl up into wistful smiles. “haha... i… remem… ber…”

And it all becomes clear. Of course. Frisk has fought a Snowdrake before, the wannabe comedian. Alphys has met him too.

Snowdrake’s son.

Frisk doesn’t even have to dodge the next projectile. It fizzles out before getting close to their soul. They take a deep breath.

“Be careful out there. Winter weather is _snow_ joke.” Despite the… interesting… caliber of the joke, Alphys finds herself smiling unconsciously at the way Snowdrake seems to solidify, just for a moment, calming down further.

“thank... you…” Her voice is just a bit clearer, her tone less confused. Alphys has heard enough.

She knows now what she has to do.

* * *

Alphys ends up taking a bit of a detour to the generator room. She starts by grabbing the food she discarded when the power went out- best to keep the amalgamates distracted while she talks to Frisk.

She’s just finished pouring food into Endogeny’s bowl when she notices the telltale slime trail of one of the Memoryheads, headed for the generator. Ugh. Of course it would be the Memoryheads. 

Alphys takes a deep breath and heads after them.

As she passes through the doors, the power comes back on with a whir. She can see the amalgams crawling across the tile into the room. With a sigh, she heads after them.

“Hey! Stop!” The Memoryheads turn around and give her their best approximation of guilty faces. Frisk stands behind them, looking more nervous than genuinely scared. Of course. 

Alphys hurries forward and gestures back at the door. “I got you guys some food, okay?”

The amalgams perk up immediately at that, all of their faces breaking into grins. They skitter out of the room before Alphys can even mention where she put the food.

Eh. They’ll find it. Some of those things have scary senses of smell.

“Sorry about that,” she smiles sheepishly, “They get kind of sassy when they aren’t fed on time.”

Frisk smiles slightly. Alphys glances at the wall. It’s time.

“Um! Anyway!” She turns to face them again. “The power went out, and I’ve been trying to turn it back on. But it seems like you were one step ahead of me.”

“This was probably just a big inconvenience for you.” Playing repairperson probably wasn’t what they were expecting when they read her note and followed her here. But. She also owes them for their help. “B-but I appreciate that you came to back me up here!”

“As I said, I was afraid I might…” Her smile slips. “Not come back.”

Frisk glances out past Alphys in the direction the Memoryheads retreated. Right. They’re probably wondering about that. “But that’s not because of these guys or anything!”

Alphys isn’t sure if they’re old enough to fully understand the concept of wanting to… disappear.

But they still deserve her best attempt at an explanation.

“I was just worried I would be too afraid to tell the truth. That I might run away, or do something… cowardly.” Their expression has gone solemn, and Alphys turns serious as well. 

“Uh… I… I suppose I owe you an explanation.” Even if they could read all of her entries, they must have questions. After going through all that for her, they deserve the truth.

And Alphys needs to practice telling it, if she decides to go through with this plan.

“As you probably know, Asgore asked me to study the nature of souls.” Alphys watches their expression closely for confusion, but they seem to have read the entries, because they nod. “During my research, I isolated a power I called ‘determination’.”

Their eyes spark with recognition. Ah. Makes sense that they would know, considering they’re such a determined human.

Alphys continues. “I injected it into dying monsters so their souls would last after death. But the experiment failed.”

Frisk looks around them, comprehension fully dawning.

“You see, unlike humans’, monsters’ bodies don’t have enough physical matter to take those concentrations of determination.” Alphys has never explained this out loud to anyone before. Hell, she couldn’t even bring herself to write an entry about it.

“Their bodies started to melt, and lost what physicality they had.” She has to push back the memories of those horrifying hours. Of not being able to do anything to help them. “Pretty soon, all of the test subjects had melted together into… those.”

Frisk continues to listen with rapt attention. It gives Alphys the push she needs to continue.

“Seeing them like this, I knew… I couldn’t tell their families about it.” It’s still a daunting task to imagine. “I couldn’t tell anyone about it. No matter how much everyone was asking me.”

Alphys trains her eyes on the dusty tile. “And I was too afraid to do any more work, knowing everything I’d done had been such a horrific failure.”

Sticking to the small things, like setting up cameras and making ice cream for Undyne and occasionally forcing herself to work on Mettaton EX… it was a safety net. Deep down, she always knew that.

It’s strange to admit it aloud, though.

“But now… now, I’ve changed my mind about all this.” She almost says ‘thanks to you’, but that would be a bit too cheesy for now.

“I’m going to tell everyone what I’ve done.” Next time she and Frisk speak, she’s probably not going to be a Royal Scientist anymore. But that… that’s okay. Maybe. She’s still trying to come to terms with it. 

“It’s going to be hard. Being honest, believing in myself…” Alphys takes another fortifying breath. “I’m sure there will be times where I’ll struggle. I’m sure there will be times where I screw up again.”

“But knowing, deep down, that I have friends to fall back on,” she smiles a bit at the feeling of finally having the confidence to say that, “I know it’ll be a lot easier to stand on my own. Thank you.”

Frisk just smiles at her. The silence is comfortable, for a moment.

She can feel the eyes of the amalgams on her back, hear one of them slithering behind her. She sighs. “Come on, guys.”

Alphys turns around to leave, the Memoryheads flanking her. She looks the closest one in the eyes and manages a small smile. 

“It’s time for everyone to go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i meant to have this out fast, and then college happened. sorry! next one is like half-written so that should be quicker. (watch me eat my words in a week lol)


	27. moment of truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alphys made a lot of very bold statements and very loaded promises down in the True Lab. The real question is whether she's gonna be able to follow through on them.

Alphys stares at her phone. Even the amalgams seem to have noticed that she’s nervous- Reaper Bird and Endogeny have emerged to watch her deliberate. 

As much as their presence is guilting her into wanting to call their families, it probably makes sense to contact Asgore first. He is her boss, after all.

Her claws tap against the buttons. Endogeny stops chasing its tails, an ear perking at the sound. 

_Ring…_

_Ring..._

“Hello, Dr. Alphys.” Asgore’s voice rumbles through the speakers. Once upon a time, the sound would have sent her swooning. Now, though, the fluttering in her stomach is an unpleasant one- less like butterflies and more like angry bats.

“H-h-hi, Asgore.” Even her breath is shaky. “I have s-something to report.”

“Is it about the human?” Asgore’s voice is urgent, but there’s also a hint of trepidation.

Alphys honestly wishes this were about the human.

“No. Sorry.” _Just say it._ “Asgore… I lied about something.”

“What is it? Is something wrong?” Of course he goes straight to being concerned for her. It would be endearing in any other circumstance.

“The t-test subjects. They’re still… a-alive.” The words rush out, leaving a slightly sour aftertaste. It’s done. No taking it back now. A thrill of panic beats in her chest and she starts to regret this idea heavily _this is a mistake_ -

Asgore makes no sound for a moment, but when he does speak, it drowns all her panic out.

“ _How_?” He sounds just as breathless as she feels. 

Alphys explains. She explains the way she did for Frisk, except now the words trip over each other in their rush to clarify things. “S-so. Uh. Basically, because monsters are made of magic, our b-b-bodies can't... can't handle all that determination. The subjects l-lost physicality, and only stayed alive b-because they melted into each other. And their f-families kept asking me for their dust, they’re still asking m-me for it, but I just c-can’t… can’t bring myself to d-do anything.”

She breaks off, breathing heavily. Asgore doesn’t speak, so she takes it down a notch and tentatively continues. “B-but. I’m going to t-tell the truth. I just want you to know a-about everything before… before I call the families.”

Finally, he cuts in. “Alphys, this is serious.”

“I know. And I understand if you have to… if you can’t…” Alphys feels horrible. “If you c-can’t keep me employed. I understand.”

A pause. “I would like to talk about this in person, if possible.” Alphys had prepared for immediate termination. Having to wait to talk to Asgore again almost feels worse. “But in the meantime, as your King, I have to order you to notify the families of your test subjects.”

He has the tone of someone trying very hard to stay impartial. Alphys barely manages to croak out a, “Y-yes. I will.”

She hangs up.

* * *

Alphys digs out her old list of phone numbers ~~because she cleared them from her contacts ages ago~~. Endogeny sniffs at the notebook, but seems to realize that it isn't a toy. They lose interest and bound away.

The list of names is daunting, but Alphys has to start somewhere. So she starts at the top. 

* * *

_H-hi, Aaron. Royal Scientist Alphys here. I know it must be weird to hear from me now… after s-so long. But I have… good news? G-good and bad. Sorry. I’m r-rambling. Um._

_Your friend is alive. He a-actually never dusted. But- h-he’s also not himself anymore. Not really._

_It’s hard to explain. B-but if you want to see him, you should come to my lab. Um. ASAP, please._

xx

_Dogamy. H-hey. This is Dr. Alphys. I have news! Your mom is alive. K-kinda._

_It's hard to explain, b-but if you want to see her... c-come to the lab! I'll be... h-here."_

xx

_H-hello, Shyren. This is Alphys. S-sorry for not calling. Undyne told me you're taking m-music lessons now, that's... that's really c-cool._

_Anyway, uh, I have some news about your s-sister..."_

xx

_S-Snowdrake, h-hi! Dr. Alphys here. I hope you and your son are d-doing okay. And, uh, about your f-family, I have something to tell you about your w-wife..."_

* * *

Twenty-odd near identical messages later, Alphys leans back with a moderately dramatic sigh. She’s exhausted. Exhausted, and she hasn’t even had to talk to the families in person yet.

This is going to be a long day (night? she hasn’t been outside or near a clock in a very long time). It’s made longer by the fact that all she has to do now is wait. Sit here and wait. Normally she would put on a show or look for a human on the cameras, but the cameras are kind of useless now that the human’s come and gone and come back again. As stress-relieving as a show would be right now- god, imagine one of the distraught family members walking in to find her watching anime. 

Alphys chuckles. If there’s even a way to make them hate her more at this point, that would be it.

Her claws tip-tap against the floor. She thought she was stressed out planning for Mettaton’s shows, but she would give anything to have that distraction ag-

Mettaton.

Alphys swears and stands up. Here she is, sitting around white-knighting about atoning for her sins or whatever while her oldest friend sits dismembered upstairs. 

That’s something to do.

* * *

The elevator works fine now that the power’s back on. However this lab was built, apparently it’s pretty damn sturdy. 

Mettaton hasn’t rebooted yet. That’s the sucker about letting his battery die all the way- he needs to charge for a few hours before powering back up. That was never a problem in his beta form, but now... Alphys is honestly considering just tossing in an additional battery, because this one barely lasted half an hour fighting Frisk.

The cocktail of emotions that come just from looking at him is still too complicated to sort out right now, but the least she can do is reattach his limbs and give him a _sorry for considering disappearing without fixing you, buddy_.

And so she starts with his precious legs. The hardest thing about this, she’s starting to realize, isn’t necessarily doing the waiting. She’s used to long, boring periods of nothing- half her career as Royal Scientist has probably been taken up by some form of waiting at this point.

Alphys is not, however, used to trying to spend that time thinking about how to better herself. Forcing herself not to think about her shortcomings is second nature at this point, and holding true to her promise to own up and come to terms with what she’s done _sucks_.

It feels like self-flagellation. And Alphys hates reading fanfiction that devotes half its runtime to characters pitying themselves, so she knows better than anyone how annoying that can be.

But she also knows that if she doesn’t spend time feeling horrible for the shitty things she’s done, she might never become better at not doing shitty things. And this is her last chance to keep the cycle from continuing, so it’s more important than ever to face her own discomfort.

Alphys is starting to feel less and less like the main character having a cool self-realization arc, and more like the supporting character who has to get her head out of her ass to help her friends fight the baddy.

Alphys snaps out of it just in time to notice she’s about to screw one of Mettaton’s arms into a leg socket, sighs, and focuses on her task. The least she can do is competently engineer, considering her robotics skills are one of the only things she has going for her anymore.

* * *

When her phone rings, Alphys jumps out of her scales, screwdriver clanking against the arm she was trying to reattach (in the right socket, this time). It’s not even that she’s startled, it’s that she _knows_ who’s on the line- someone angry or confused or already on their way to murder her.

Which is why it’s such a confusing surprise to see PAPYRUS on the caller ID.

“H-hello?” She still can’t keep the shaking out of her voice.

“ALPHYS! I WAS GOING TO CALL TO RESCHEDULE OUR MOTIVATIONAL TRAINING SESSION-”

“Oh, Papyrus, there’s r-really no need to-”

“BUT THEN I RECEIVED A TOP-SECRET MISSION THAT REQUIRES YOUR COOPERATION!”

Alphys is thrown completely off-guard for a second. She blinks the confusion away. “Wh-what?”

“THE HUMAN NEEDS OUR HELP! I THINK IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH ASGORE, BECAUSE I’VE BEEN TOLD TO CALL YOU TO THE CASTLE.”

Frisk is meeting Asgore. They need her help. 

She hangs up. Rude, sure, but this is overwhelming. She needs to think hard about her next move.

The voices in the back of her head are already telling her this is a bad idea.

_Why would Frisk need_ your _help?_

_Remember the last time you tried to ‘protect them from Asgore'? How did that go for you again?_

_What could you even do to help?_

Alphys is seriously tempted to stay in her lab, waiting to be chewed out by the families of her nearly-dead test subjects.

But today is a day for discovering the new Alphys, right? If the new Alphys is supposed to be assertive and supportive and transparent, isn’t this the best way to get started?

Damnit. She… she should probably go make sure her boss doesn’t kill her new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's very unclear how much time passes in-game between the true lab and the ending, but I'm assuming at least a few hours considering Alphys has time to get Mettaton operational, tell everyone about the amalgamates, and get to the castle for the fight.
> 
> so yeah, I guess Frisk wasn't really in a rush to fight Asgore again. which is fair, honestly.


	28. And They All Lived Happily Ever After

Papyrus didn’t specify how urgently Alphys needs to get to the throne room. And, well, that’s probably because she hung up on him so fast. Oops.

But if she’s going to try and protect them from Asgore, the literal King Under the Mountain, she probably shouldn’t only bring her relatively unformidable self.

By her (admittedly hasty) calculations, it will be a little while before Mettaton gets out of screensaver mode. Giving him a second empty battery- because it would just be pretty inconvenient for him to lose power again the second he starts helping Frisk- also means more charging time. 

Alphys doesn’t know if she can afford to wait for him to wake up, so she passes the time and keeps her jitters at bay with some therapeutic letter-writing.

First to the families of the amalgamates, because wouldn’t it just be a bit _too_ fitting if they happen to show up while she’s gone?

_If you’re reading this, I’m probably not here. Sorry, but something really important came up. The bathroom door is actually an elevator- take that down, and you’ll find your friends._

She writes a little bit more, of course: a list of who combined into what amalgam, some advice on how to find them, and a warning that Lemon Bread likes to bite.

And she hopes that she doesn’t come off like she doesn’t care, because as much as these were test subjects, she’s spent too much time and energy keeping them alive and well (or as well as they can be as horrifying, goopy hive-minds) to remain analytical.

The note for Mettaton takes a lot longer. Alphys didn’t have much to say to him before she went down to the lower lab, and she doesn’t have much to say to him now.

Thinking about him still just makes her feel a vexing mix of guilty and angry. He betrayed her today, and the sting might have faded- or at least been buried underneath a lot more emotions since- but she’ll never forget how he said

_“all so you would think she’s the great person”_

_“that she’s not”_

He hates her. And now she’s the one who has to be the bigger person and beg for his help saving Frisk.

_~~I need your help-~~ _

_Frisk needs your help. It’s hard to explain, but they’re in the throne room. They might be in danger. I don’t know if Papyrus and I will be enough to save them._

But she knows Mettaton, and she knows he holds onto grudges like miser. 

_If you won’t do this for me, do this for them. They deserve it more than any of us._

She leaves before she can second guess everything.

* * *

The walk is very quiet. It’s weird to follow the steps of Frisk’s journey that Alphys so thoroughly memorized for her ‘guiding’ routine, and walking up to the castle in general brings back some oh-so-lovely memories of heading over to drink tea with Asgore (and tell him that she’s still made zero progress with her experiments).

Alphys has an unpleasant recent history with Hotland. If she ends up losing her job after all, she should probably spend some time in Waterfall or Snowdin.

Scratch Snowdin, actually. She’s cold-blooded, a bad match for snow. 

A whole childhood here in Hotland, tarnished by two or so years of a very shitty job. She grew up here, went to school here, made her first friends here-

But all she can think about when she sees lava and lasers is a stressful workplace and the kid she lied to.

Funny, how owning up to all her mistakes and working to clear her conscience doesn’t stop the guilt. 

Of course, there’s no room for guilt by the time she’s in the castle, approaching the gaping door to the throne room (tall enough to fit a seven foot boss monster) and the fighting that could be going on beyond.

Guilt won’t save Frisk, not right now.

* * *

As soon as she enters, she can hear people talking. _Not fighting, as far as she can tell- thank god._ She unconsciously speeds up when she makes out Undyne’s voice, hurrying past the throne and down the hall-

The barrier pulls the breath out of her for a moment, all shifting kaleidoscopic light, made semi-solid by ancient magic. She can’t stay out of breath for long, because silhouetted against the barrier she can make out the form of Frisk, facing Asgore, Undyne, and… someone else?

“H-hey!” Alphys sprints up next to Frisk. “Nobody hurt each other!”

They look up at her with a smile, a calm one, and her heartrate slows in relief when she sees how uninjured they are. Their HP sits solidly at 20/20- they’re perfectly fine. Now placated, she spares a glance at the others- and has to do a double take, because _is that another boss monster?_

They look like a more feminine Asgore, down to the clothes and the royal colors. Alphys can only gape, but they smile warmly at her. “Oh! Are you another friend?”

She sounds like a female Asgore, too, with a deep, warm voice. “Hello. I am Toriel.”

And Alphys is gaping again, because as much as she was starting to make wild guesses that this could be the queen, she was _not_ prepared to have those guesses confirmed.

“Uh... h-h-hi?” Toriel is supposed to be dead, or off in hiding somewhere, right? Alphys had been so sure that Asgore was the last boss monster- or at least, the last relevant one.

She leans over to Frisk, who, as always, looks _way too comfortable with this situation_.

“There’s two of them?” She whispers. They nod.

Alphys registers the rest of the group. Undyne looks confused (thank god Alphys isn’t the only one), Toriel is all warm smiles in every direction but Asgore’s, and Asgore looks… distressed?

Right. Yeah. This is technically his ex-wife.

Alphys scurries over to Undyne’s side to hopefully get some answers- and just in time, too, because Papyrus jogs in as soon as she’s moved.

He says something about no one fighting anyone, but Alphys is too busy catching Undyne’s eye to care. 

“Wh-what’s going on?” She whispers, as Sans appears from somewhere (who knows with him) and continues the conversation around them.

Undyne lowers her own voice (as much as Undyne’s voice ever lowers, at least) to match Alphys’ tone. “I got here right before you. Toriel already had it handled, but I figured they could use my help anyway.”

She seems to notice Alphys glancing between Toriel and Asgore. “Yeah, they don’t, uh, seem to get along. Definitely SOMETHING going on there. I know you kinda ship them-”

She smirks as Toriel heads straight for Sans, saying something about a familiar voice. “But I don’t think they’re an item anymore.”

Alphys chuckles, half in humor and half in pure disbelief. 

She wants to continue this conversation, she really does, but she’s cut off by Papyrus’ exclamation.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE ASGORE’S CLONE KNOWS WHO I AM!” He’s blushing (how is that _possible_ , he doesn’t have blood or a heart or _anything_ ) as Toriel smiles at him. “THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!”

She’s so absorbed in watching this absolutely strange interaction that she almost doesn’t realize Undyne’s attention is entirely elsewhere, focused on… 

Oh, Asgore looks miserable. Maybe he noticed that Toriel is standing pretty close to Sans, or maybe it has something to do with the scorch mark on his cape, but Alphys is pretty sure he’s starting to tear up.

It’s awkward to try and console him, considering he’s her employer (maybe even ex-employer, with everything that’s happened recently). Hell, her last interaction with him probably contributed to his current unhappiness.

She’s lost in thought for just a moment too long, and Undyne beats her to it. “Come on, Asgore! It’s gonna be okay!”

She smirks. “There are plenty of fish in the sea…”

Alphys isn’t sure why that sentence specifically gives her the jolt she needs to jump in, but it does. “Y-yeah, Asgore! Undyne’s totally right about the fish thing!” 

“S-sometimes you’ve just got to, uh… s-stop going after furry boss monsters, and uh…” She smiles encouragingly at him, “J-just get to know a really cute fish…?”

She blushes. That got a little too autobiographical, didn’t it? Oh, and now Undyne’s looking at her weird, oh no…

“It’s a metaphor.” She blurts, and smiles sheepishly. Thank god, Undyne smiles again.

But her tone is something unfamiliar (not necessarily in a bad way) as she says, “Well. I think it’s a good analogy.”

Alphys can’t help but smile in return, and it’s almost like she and Undyne are alone together, and all she can see is Undyne’s eye, sparkling so nicely-

The moment shatters.

“OH MY GOD!”

A new voice shouts from the sideline, and Alphys spots Mettaton- he came! He actually came to help her, even if there’s not much to help with. Maybe there’s hope-

“WILL YOU TWO JUST SMOOCH ALREADY? THE AUDIENCE IS DYING FOR SOME ROMANTIC ACTION!”

Oh. Alphys is struck speechless- but of course Undyne isn’t. “Hey, SHUT UP!”

And for a second Alphys’ dumb brain starts to go _awwww, she’s sticking up for you_ , but then the rest of her brain starts to wonder if maybe Mettaton... was actually trying to help her, in his own roundabout way. Odd, what with how determined he was to ruin her less than a day ago.

But still worth considering.

“Man, the nerve of that guy! Right, Alphys?” Undyne is grinning that triumphant smile- she’s never looked lovelier.

Alphys considers going out on a limb, for like the third time today. It doesn’t feel any easier than it did the first time- she still doesn’t feel in control. But maybe she doesn’t have to be in control right now, right?

This is starting to sound like one of her sketchier fanfictions- Undyne takes control and sweeps her off her feet, and… ~~X-rated things ensue-~~

“Uh, Alphys?” Undyne sounds confused, and maybe a little concerned.

Alphys takes a deep breath, gets her brain back on the right track, and looks Undyne right in the eye. “No. He’s right.”

Undyne looks confused, but Alphys refuses to consider backing off. Not this time. “LET’S DO IT.”

And just as she’s bracing for the sting of rejection, Undyne looks right at her.

“Well? Uh? I guess? If you want to? Then?” She sounds so uncharacteristically uncertain, and Alphys wonders if she overstepped, whether or not Undyne feels pressured to consent, until the captain’s eye sparkles, and her voice strengthens, and she’s smiling as she says, “Don’t hold anything back!”

And, oh god, Undyne is leaning down to her, because _it worked_. Alphys squeezes her eyes shut and hopes her glasses won’t get in the way and-

“W-wait! Not in front of the human!” Someone jams herself between them, Alphys opens her eyes just in time to avoid kissing Toriel instead.

And that’s when Alphys remembers her audience. Toriel does have a point, that kissing might have to wait until the small child of ambiguous age is not in the picture. 

“Uh, right! S-sorry, I got a little carried away there.” Alphys realizes guiltily that she should have been keeping track of Frisk this whole time, considering she came here to help them. It just felt like such a perfect moment- everyone here and not fighting and Undyne talking about romance- like the power of friendship part of a show. 

Alphys peeks behind Toriel and manages to meet Undyne’s eyes for a second.

She’s blushing deep blue. She’s also grinning ear to ear, and Alphys can’t help but mirror it. Taking risks isn’t going so badly after all.

“I think you will be happy here,” Toriel says to Frisk, and privately, Alphys agrees. They’ve managed to make so many friends, and just the fact that everyone convened here to protect them really means something.

This whole thing feels too perfect, uncannily like the happy ending of some cheesy show. Not that Alphys is complaining, of course; after the awfulness of these last few days, a good ending is a relief. It’s especially lucky considering how sideways this could have gone if Papyrus hadn’t called everyone.

Hell, as thankful as she is, Alphys isn’t even sure how Papyrus _knew_ to do this.

“H-hey, that reminds me.” She looks at him, frowning in thought. “Papyrus, YOU called everyone here, right?”

He grins at her, cape fluttering in a wind that Alphys hadn’t even noticed until now. She takes that as affirmation enough.

“Well, besides, uh, her.” Alphys gives Toriel a small, hopefully-not-awkward smile. “Uh, anyway… if I got here before you, how did you know to call everybody?”

If Papyrus had been with Frisk at the throne room and seen them struggling against Asgore, that would have been one thing. But she beat him here, so he must have made the call from somewhere else. How would he have known Frisk was in danger?

“LET’S JUST SAY,” He smiles like the answer is obvious, “A TINY FLOWER HELPED ME.”

And Alphys might just be paranoid. She really might.

He’s probably just talking about an echo flower. That has to be it.

But there’s a part of Alphys, the part that always wondered what happened to the vessel, that wonders what else a tiny flower could mean.

“A tiny… flower?” She murmurs.

It can’t be.

But it’s definitely not an echo flower’s thorny appendage that slams into her, knocking the breath and her next questions out of her.

It’s definitely not an echo flower that lifts her off her feet, constricting her until she can’t even move her arms.

There’s a flash, probably because she’s being squeezed so tight she sees white flashing across her vision…

But the physical pain is nothing compared to the horrible familiarity of that golden flower that’s popped up in front of Frisk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long author's note today, sorry.
> 
> Midterms are blending into finals and throwing off every aspect of my life, especially my writing schedule. Now that I'm almost done with those, things should get back to normal in a week or two. Hopefully, at least. Whoever told teachers to treat this like a normal semester despite the online classes is an irredeemable sadist.
> 
> Also, the chapter count is back. There are going to be 30 chapters total, of which I've mostly written the next two.
> 
> Finally, I tried dipping my toes into posting this on ff.net, and holy shit, that site is like a relic from the 2000s. Could not figure it out for the life of me. Might try again another time, but my first valiant effort got me nowhere, so we'll see lol.
> 
> Thanks for reading, and sorry for the hiatus. I'm excited to finally finish this thing.

**Author's Note:**

> Updates once every one or two weeks. Thanks for reading :)


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